Saito's Dreams
by Jemu Nekketsu
Summary: Gods talking to people in their dreams usually means some unexpected things are in store for the poor mortal, and Saito Hiraga is no exception. Chapter 12 is in! The Long Awaited Update!
1. First Contact

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Zero no Tsukaima.

Saito was having a messed up dream.

Now, he was not dreaming that Tabitha, Kirche, Montmorency, Siesta, and Jessica were in "fairy" outifits from Scarron's fetish tavern, similar to the one Louise wore when Henrietta asked them to work undercover for her, and were catering to his wishes and calling him Goshujin-sama - Master, in other words. That would fall under the classification of 'happy' dream, at least until Louise would inevitably stomp in, whip in hand, decked out with a leather police-type beret, leather boots, and leather hot pants that were held up by two suspender straps that also hid her nipples from view. At that point, the dream would degenerate to horrendous, as Louise would whip the tar out of him, and then pass the whip around to the other girls, who would give out their own lashes. Horrendous, indeed. But it was not messed up.

By his definition, messed up was talking to a cloud of eyes. And these were no ordinary eyes - some he could tell were dog eyes, some were cat eyes, and some belonged to birds. That was as far as he could identify them, and talking was in itself a vague term. Usually when Saito talked to someone, or something, it had a mouth. However, communicating to a scintillating cloud with animal eyes all over - well, he wasn't sure if talking was exactly the right word, despite the fact that he was carrying a conversation with someone.

He hoped he wasn't going insane. Was that a sign of impending insanity, talking to one's self in a dream?

_Fear not, human familiar. You are not going mad, except perhaps with your emotions you cannot reveal._

"Who are you?" Saito asked. He looked around the dreamscape, and saw that he was floating on a grid of glowing squares suspended over a field of stars.

_I am Hyakkujuu-oh, Spirit Lord of Animals. Other people know me as Pan-Samun, the Patron of Conjurers. Those are but some of my names, and I have many more, one for each incantation that is laid at my altar._

"Wow! This dream is the bomb! I'm actually talking to a Spirit Lord in my dream? Well, this is a dream, so I guess I'll play along. Lord of Spirits, to what do I owe this visit?"

_Blessed are you, Saito Hiraga, for it is usually only to intelligent or magical beasts that I appear. Unicorns, dragons, griffins, krakens - my loyal subjects all. Due to your circumstances as a familiar, that makes you the newest member of my wonderful menagerie. And as one who oversees you, I must see to your welfare at least once a year._

"How are you supposed to do that, when this is a dream? Ow!" Saito spun to see what whapped him on the back of his head, and he saw a pink, healthy looking tentacle wave at him, and following it to its source he saw that it came from the cloud of eyes.

_Do not doubt me. I am a god, although I may not look like one. I see you have doubts. In that case, to prove my powers to you, ask me for anything that involves transformation, alteration, or bestowing something on your person, and you shall see it when you wake from this dream._

"Transform, alter, or bestow something on me? Like what?"

The multitude of eyes blinked,as if to say, "You can't be serious. Surely there must be something you think you want."

Thinking that this was some great joke, Saito replied, "Alright. Lord of Spirits, please make me feel no pain from anything that Louise, no, make that any female mage throws at me or uses against me."

The cloud of eyes blinked. _Done! When you wake from this dream, try it out, and learn the truth of my words! Witness, and believe._

With that, Hyakkujuu-oh left, and Saito had the sensation that he was falling at the rate of 9.8 meters per second, squared. "Ah, heck, this is going to be one of those dreams," Saito thought, as he stretched his legs and arms wide to get more air resistance.

His left hand felt something warm, smooth, and breathing. Instantly, he knew what he was touching, despite his sleep-fogged mind. "Please, kami-sama, don't let her wake up," Saito silently prayed. It was not to be, however. He heard an indignant squeak, which made his left hand clench, which triggered a gasp, which in turn propelled him up and over his side of the bed, landing hard on the cold stone floor, taking the covers with him as he went down.

From what she had felt earlier and the crash she heard just now, Louise made some inferences, and concluded that some pervert had copped a feel, fallen over the side of the bed when she reacted, and was now ready for his daily morning dose of punishment. "You perverted, despicable dog!" she shrieked as she stood on the bed and glared down at the boy she slept with.

"It was an accident! I swear I would never have touched your flat chest... oh crap."

"What. Did. You. Say. About. My. CHEST!?"

"It was nothing! Nothing, I meant -"

"My chest is nothing?! Saito, I'm going to kill you!" Louise yelled, bounding over to her dresser and taking out the whip she kept in the top drawer. With practiced ease and an eerie grin on her face, she pulled her arm back and cracked the whip at Saito.

Silence.

Saito blinked. "Whoa, dodged it!"

"You didn't," Louise said, pointing to his cut cheek. "You're bleeding, as it is."

"Eh?" Now that she mentioned it, Saito did feel a trickle down his cheek and touched it with his finger. He brought it to his vision and saw that there was blood on his finger tip. "Hmm, that's odd, I didn't feel anything."

"What are you talking about? You're saying you didn't feel that lash?"

"Nope."

"That's a lie! Take this! And this!" Louise rained whip lashes on Saito, who half-heartedly raised his arm to fend them off. To both their surprise, Saito didn't yell out as the whip wrapped around his forearm and the spikes buried themselves in his jacket arm.

"Saito," was all Louise could say. She was so shocked that she let go of the whip.

He wasn't paying her any attention, though, as he was trying to recall a vivid dream he was sure he had before he woke up. "Louise."

"What is it?"

"Use your wand on me."

"Huh!? What's gotten into you? Usually you're shaking when I bring out my wand, and now you're asking for it?" she asked, not quite believeing what she heard.

"Just one quick spell blast. Look, if you don't want to do it, I can ask Kirche or Tabitha."

"You wouldn't dare! Grrr, angering me so early in the morning, I'm going to punish you!"

An explosion rocked the room, creating a thick cloud of smoke that wafted out of the thankfully open windows. When it cleared, Saito was sooty, but wasn't stunned, dazed, or on the floor as he usually would be after one of Louise's explosions. "Now this is definitely odd," Saito said, sounding pleased with himself. He stretched, and winced. "My hip still hurts - I guess that means my body hasn't gone numb. Could it be?"

"What are you talking about, Saito? Anyway, come here so I can tend to that cut on your cheek."

"Nah, I think I'm gonna keep it. I wonder what people would say if they saw me with that wound?" he mused.

"Saito, this is no time to joke around! At least let me wipe the blood and soot off! You wouldn't want that cut to be infected, would you?"

Saito was considering his response as he walked over and sat on the bed.

A. It would serve you right if it did get infected.

B. Are you worried about me?

"Are you worried about me?" Saito asked.

"O- of course not! It's just that if my familiar were to appear outside in that condition, people would think that I don't see to my duties properly! They'd say I as an irresponsible mage!"

"So it's your responsibility to patch me up after tearing into me with your wand or whip, eh? In that case, thank you for your minstrations, Mistress. I shall take no more of your time in seeing to that cut. I shall pester the kitchen staff instead - surely they have something for cut fingers and such. If you'll excuse me," Saito recited stiffly, standing up.

Now Louise was really confused. She thought initially that Saito was bluffing, that he was pretending to feel no pain, and it turned out that neither her whip lashes or her magic had any effect on him. She knew from experience that they would have hurt, and his clothes attested to the fact that she wasn't drunk blind and missing her aim, but Saito seemed to be immune to it all. And what was with this sudden attitude change? It was like he suddenly became fearless. At the very least, he wasn't afraid of her punishments anymore.

And if he wasn't afraid of punishment anymore, how can she keep him by her side, away from any other girls? "Saito, why do you insist on going away from me?" she asked softly. "Don't I take care of you well enough?"

In an equally soft voice, he replied, "Because, Louise, there is a difference in being taken care of and in being cared for."

He had decided to put things to the test. "I'm going." He had hardly taken two steps toward the door when he felt hands on his sleeve. He stopped, and waited.

"Don't go," came Louise's teary whisper. "Don't go, Saito, please."

"Tell me why, then. Why would I stay with someone who believes circumstantial evidence over my confession, who always thinks the worst of me, who treats me no better than a pet dog, who sees no one at fault other than me, and finally, one who does not understand that I have feelings like she does."

"Because I can't bear it when I see you with someone else! I get torn up inside, and my first impulse is to hit you so that you don't do it again!"

Saito smiled sadly. He sat back down on the bed, so that if he felt like jerking his arm out of her grip, she wouldn't fall off the bed. He didn't want to do so at the moment, though. "That's how you treat an animal, Louise, and I strongly resent being treated that way. I am a human, and grew up where the rich people have the same rights and needs as the less monied, the only difference being what the less monied can afford. My being your familiar does not remove any of my needs, and I don't think you can, or would want to fill some of them."

"I will, and can do so! Name those needs! As your master, even if I can't fulfill those needs, at the very least I must be aware of them."

Deciding to press his luck - and why shouldn't he, when he can't feel any pain from her actions anymore - Saito named a rather daring need. "Alright. I need physical intimacy."

As expected, Louise's eyes grew wide. "Physical intimacy?"

"Yes. Holding hands, embraces, kisses, that sort of thing. For me, it's proof stronger than words of someone's affection for me."

"I see."

"Can you fulfill that particular need, Louise?" Saito asked, focusing his entire attention on the girl. "Or do I seek fulfillment somewhere else?"

"I... I don't want you to go to another girl!" Louise replied honestly.

"So, is that a yes?"

"H-how many do you think need?"

Saito smiled at her question. "Probably a lot, to ensure that I don't seek them from others. And because I know how you feel about kissing in front of an audience, I'll only collect kisses when no one's around."

After getting to his feet, he helped Louise up. "We can sort out the other details later at night. Now then, let's get you ready for your sister's combat magic class." He leaned down and planted a quick kiss on her nose.


	2. A Sneaky Deity

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Zero no Tsukaima.

Chapter 2 - Revenge is Best Served Sweet

"Chii-nee-sama?"

Cattleya heard the muffled call from beyond her closed door. Shaking off sleep, she got out of bed and wondered what her baby sister could possibly want at this hour. "Louise? What's wrong?" she asked the younger girl.

"I- I was wondering if I could spend the night with you," Louise answered. "Also, do you have a spell that secures a door from being broken down by force?"

"The spell should be easily handled by me, but why now all of a sudden? Why aren't you sharing your bed with your familiar tonight?"

"That's because- well, because he scares me now that he's immune to magic and my beatings - I meant disciplinary measures!" Louise recovered.

If Cattleya had any reaction to the 'beatings' she made sure she didn't let it show on her Madonna face. "He's immune to your magic, and your discipline doesn't work on him?"

"Not just mine, even to my classmates' magic, and even Eleonor nee-sama's!"

"So? Why do you need to be afraid of him? Do you think he'll take this opportunity to take revenge on you for whatever wrongs he thinks you've done him?"

"He shouldn't take umbrage! If I did discipline him, it was because he brought it upon himself. And as a familiar, he should take it all without saying a word or feeling that he was wronged!"

Cattleya sighed. From what her baby sister had been saying, she was able to infer that Louise believed that her familiar - if one could really consider another human as a familiar - would try to use his newfound invulnerability to his gain at Louise's expense. Cattleya didn't believe it for one second. The boy - what was his name again? - didn't seem the type to enjoy hurting people, whether they deserved it or not, unlike the rest of her family. She felt no pang of guilt at thinking such thoughts - guilt meant unacceptance, and she had long reconciled herself to the fact that her family had real strange ideas about certain things in life. She was wondering how to proceed next when she heard Eleonor's voice asking, "Cattleya? Why is your door ajar this late at night?"

"Do come in, Nee-sama. I believe we need your input here."

"We?" Eleonor asked, letting herself in and closing the door. "Chibi-Louise? Hmph, seems my instincts were right. Out with it then, what have you been talking about?"

"It's about my familiar, Nee-sama. He's changed, and I'm scared of him."

"You are referring to this morning's lessons? I'll admit surprise to see that he wasn't the least bit singed, fazed, or bruised by an entire clasroom's worth of magic blasts. Did he show this ability before?" Eleonor asked.

"He hasn't. He could dodge very well, and I know that he can be very tough and stubborn, but I used to be able to whip him or jolt him to submission."

"Did you use all of the techniques that I taught you?" Eleonor asked.

Louise nodded. Eleonor frowned. "So what you are saying is that you have now way of keeping him in check now, is that it?"

"Louise seems to believe that the boy will avenge himself on her person," Cattleya inserted.

"I wouldn't be surprised, what with you failing even the simplest of tasks for a mage. Getting a familiar's total obedience is necessary, else you might as well give it up to a more capable mage and continue without one."

"NO! I'm not giving Saito up, ever, and I won't let another have him!" Louise screamed, prompting Eleonor to grab her cheek painfully.

"Keep it down, Chibi-Louise! Screaming is unbecoming in a daughter of the La Valliere family!" Eleonor scolded her.

"But still," Louise insisted in a quieter voice, "I have no intention of letting Saito go."

"If bodily harm, or the threat of it, will not keep him in line, then you must resort to other means. Have you tried restricting his meals?" Eleonor asked.

"That won't work - the kitchen staff of the Academy sees him as their hero. They'd probably do something big if I restricted his meals - maybe even give me bad-tasting food."

"Really now? I guess physical restraint is out of the question, unless you can trick him into it?"

"He's grown leery and wary of me giving him gifts out of the blue, ever since I gave him those Medusa glasses."

Eleonor sighed. Cattleya spoke, "Everyone, we seem to be overlooking the root of the problem here."

"Which is?" Eleonor asked.

"Louise calls and treats Saito like a dog. He obviously doesn't like being treated as such, but he puts up with it, much like a dog would. Sisters, I know dogs. They're naturally loyal, even to owners who mistreat them, but all dogs have their breaking points at which they bite the hand that beats them. The question now becomes 'Has Saito reached his breaking point?' If he hasn't then there is nothing to be afraid of."

"And if he has reached his breaking point?" Louise asked fearfully.

"Then you would have disappointed me, my little Louise. We've seen Saito fight, and if he decided to turn on you - well, the good news is, he won't yet. Not unless you make another huge error."

"Or he does something to make her lose control again. Now that I think of it, he might be deliberately provoking her," Eleonor mused. "So, Cattleya, you're saying that Louise still has nothing to fear from her commoner?"

"But there is!" Louise cut in before Cattleya could reply. "He says he's going to demand, well, things from me."

"Explain yourself, Chibi-Louise."

"Saito says he wants intimacy. 'Tonight,' he told me this morning when I discovered I was powerless against him."

Louise's older sisters exchanged glances, then turned back to their baby sister. Identical looks of worry were on their faces.

SAITO AND LOUISE'S LOVE NEST, ER ROOM

"It was late, and Louise isn't in the room with me," Saito thought. "Maybe I scared her off this morning."

Restless, he took Derflinger out of his scabbard, and observed the blade. The sword, realizing that his partner had pulled him out, asked. "What is it, bro?"

"Der, how do I get a girl to willingly shower me with affection yet at the same time not mind me being a regular man with a man's needs and impulses?"

"That's a tough one. Are we talking about Louise?" Der asked.

Saito grunted. Der let out a sigh. "Not a chance, bro, unless you wake up and discover that she likes men but also likes women as well."

Saito had a mental image of Louise embracing Henrietta. His imagination had them clad only in Tristain miniskirts and nothing else, and his memory fleshed the remainder of his fantasy out (_pun intended_). Since had seen what both girls had under their tops, the resulting image made Saito aware that his pants were getting rather uncomfortable and tight.

Cursing, he shook his mind clear of the image. That fixed his head, but not his other concern. He glared at it and considered his options.

1.) Cold shower.

2.) Find Louise and have her take care of his frustration.

3.) Cold shower.

4.) Find Siesta and have her take care of his frustration.

5.) Cold shower.

6.) Find Kirche and have her take care of his frustration.

7.) Take matters into his own hands, also known as _hitori ecchi _back in Japan.

Saito looked at the list he had compiled. He immediately crossed out the even-numbered options, plus the third and fifth ones after realizing that he wrote them just using different kanji for option number one. That narrowed his choice down to two.

"Well, this place doesn't have tissues and lotion, so a cold bath it is," Saito concluded forlornly. He was rummaging through the closet when he heard the door open. He turned to see the cause of his frustration walk in, with head bent, and close the door behind her. He immediately knew something was up. Usually when she walked like that, he knew he was either in for it or she had a lot of stuff she needed to let out. "Louise?"

Saito watched her raise her head to look at him. "Saito," she whispered.

She hadn't taken a step from the door, he observed, and wasn't angry at him. He began to debate the wisdom of wishing for this new power. Ever since this morning, Louise seemed to have lost her _joie de vivre_. In other words, she was like a zombie in a trance as she went through the day. Even Kirche's pointed remarks at her condition didn't elicit a response. What was he supposed to do now? Thinking back to how situations like these got resolved in manga, he let the towel drop to the floor, took two slow steps toward her, and opened his arms toward her. _This is a long shot, _he thought, _but it's the only one I can think of._

He was surprised to see his gamble pay off as he saw Louise launch herself at him and bury her face in his chest. He felt wetness soak his jacket, and decided that Louise would be more comfortable sitting down rather than standing upright as she cried herself out. Accordingly, he maneuvered them so that they found themselves sitting on the bed.

"Saito, do you hate me?"

"What kind of question is that? I confessed my true feelings back at your home, on the boat, or don't you remember?"

"Do you still love me?"

In response, Saito pulled her close and took her lips with his own as he had wanted to do all day long. Louise moaned, and Saito was surprised when he felt her pushing him. "What is it? Was it too much, too soon for you?"

She shook her head. "Do you plan on taking revenge for all the times I whipped you and blasted you?"

Saito considered lying and telling her no, but he realized that he'd rather have the truth out in the open. "I would be lying if I said 'no,' Master. I do remember all the times I thought you were being unjust and unfair to me. I remembered them, so that one day, I could take sweet revenge on you. I prayed in my heart for such a day, and this morning, my prayers were answered, literally."

"I see. I was afraid of that."

"I fully intent to collect what I was owed, Master."

"But you love me, don't you?"

"Yes, I do. Which is why I shall extract retribution in a way that will leave no visible mark of my inflicting it on you." 

"Saito!"

"Heed me, my Master. I intend to see my suffering repaid in full in this night, or what remains of it. As you did not stop whipping me whenever I begged you to do so, neither will I stop my lips and hands from taking their due of your body, and my ears will be deaf to your pleas."

"So you will beat and bite me all over?" Louise wailed. Her sisters agreed that if Saito said he still loved her, he wouldn't hurt her even if he resented her. Cattleya even suggested acting the opposite of how she generally treated Saito, and even Eleonor gave her approval, saying, "It's obvious your usual tactics are not accomplishing your goal and are achieving the opposite of what you intend, so try the reverse and see if anything changes. And remember, you're our sister, so know that we'll be at your side immediately should you need us."

Saito sighed. Playing the villain with designs on some poor maiden was a refreshing change of pace, but it was also nerve-wracking. He decided then and there that he wasn't cut out to be a villain, unless he was brainwashed then mind-controlled. "No, Louise. I will kiss and fondle you all over, until I have memorized how every inch of your skin feels, and there will be no stopping me until I have taken my fill of sweet revenge. Think of that boat ride we had at your home, only we'll be doing that and more all through the night."

Louise did, reliving every moment of it, and promptly turned red, venting steam out of her ears, and then fainting. Saito tried to rouse her, to no avail. Laying her down on the bed, he stared at her for a moment before throwing the window open and howling at the two moons.

"A wonderful night for howling, is it not?" asked a stranger's voice.

"Who's there?" Saito asked, looking around. He finally saw a man floating above the window, wearing a cloak similar to Principal Osmond's over a red uniform similar to a male Academy professor. The man changed altitude so he could talk to Saito face to face.

"Evang Erion, Red Wizard of the Order of the Breakers of the Fourth Wall. Pan-Samun spoke to me, something about removing an enchantment. You _are _Saito Hiraga, right?"

"Wait. Pan-Samun sent you?"

"Well, yeah. He's a fairly benevolent god of magic, if you're into summoning flaming wildcat spirits and such. Personally I prefer land wurms, but even they have their limits."

"Well, can you ask him for an extension on my lease?"

"What do I look like, a collection agent? Listen, kid, you want to talk to the Great Celestial Zookeeper, do it yourself. My instructions were to be close at hand when you tire of being invulnerable to women so that the power can be returned to him as quickly and as efficiently as possible."

"Just what exactly is his domain? He says he's the Lord of Familiar Spirits and Magical Beasts, yet at the same time he's a god of magic from which wizards draw their power?"

"Pretty much. Multi-tasking is the way of the future, or so they say. Well then, I'll be hanging around then. By the way, why were you howling at the moon earlier?"

"I don't think that's something I'd discuss with someone I just met."

"Have it your way. Well, good night then, whatever remains of it. Enjoy curling up to the girl in the bed." With that the wizard began to fade, becoming lighter and clearer until he was totally gone.

Saito, meanwhile, did exactly as the wizard had guessed he would do. He slipped out of his clothes, then made sure that Louise was under the comforter, after which he slid in beside her, and held her close.

He drifted off into sleep, and into Pan-Samun's parlor.

"Ah, good to see you again, youngster. I hope you don't mind the hydra-like body - I just have so many heads I need to talk to. Get it? Har har!"

"Ahehehe. Uh, can you spare me some time?"

"Sure. Problem with your love life?"

"Huh?!"

"No use denying it, my boy. One of my heads is currently talking with the Patroness of Frustrated Virgins - don't ask, I didn't create all these positions that needed to be filled - and three of her everyday supplicants are your girlfriend and her sisters."

"Wha?!"

"Anyway, back to you. What can this god of magic help you with - oh, wait, I can't help you in that aspect, since you're neither mage nor wizard. Then, how can I help you, human familiar?"

"What's your interest in me, anyway, Pan-Samun? Why are you so willing to help me?"

"You want a gods' honest truth?"

Saito nodded.

"YOU CAN'T HANDLE THE TRUTH!" Pan-Samun roared dramatically.

"That god-awful line won't stop me."

"Fine! I'll tell you why. I'm thinking of walking the mortal plane of existence again, to see to some loose ends I left behind before I ascended to godhood, and I'm considering what form to take that wouldn't broadcast my presence and allow me to move incognito. I despaired over my limited choices - did you know I was desperate enough to take the form of a rainbow parrot? Then I received word from the grapevine that once again the spirit of Gandalfr had been called out, and I knew I had found my answer."

Saito's horrified mind jumped to the obvious conclusion. "You're going to... _use _me?"

"Yes! Think about it! If I use you, you'll gain a wider range of invulnerability! You'll have endless animal-themed attacks to use with your sword to deadly effect! You'll exude unearthly levels of animal magenetism that even ball-breakers like Eleonor de la Valliere will succumb to! All these can be yours for the very low price of your Gandalfr soul!"

"No thanks, really. Well, I'll be seeing you around then. Oh, and you can have your gift back..."

"Saito Hiraga," Pan-Samun's voice seethed with contained anger, "Never before has one of my subjects treated me with such impudence-"

"Well, there's always a first time for everything, isn't there?" Saito interrupted him cheekily.

"Informing you of my plans was a courtesy I deigned to give you out of novelty, but now I see I have to take more drastic measures against you. Behold, even as we speak I am manipulating your body through this dream, and I I shall tell you what I am making your body do. It is currently removing your master's night gown, and your lips are two inches from kissing her body where it has never been kissed before. Yes, I believe I shall send you back to your body now, and deal with the consequences minus my protection."

Saito found himself instantly awake, and saw that he was mere inches away from planting a kiss on Louise's dainty derriere, the skirt of her nightgown bunched around her waist. A corner of his mind registered that she wasn't wearing anything underneath, and he was staring at the proof. Frozen with terror, the words of the angry god rippling and echoing through his head, he watched as Louise changed positions.

She must have turned in the middle of the night and continued to sleep on her chest, Louise realized, then frowned a bit as she felt the cold night air on her behind and thighs. What happened to her skirt? She pushed herself up from the bed and opened her eyes to look behind her, and it took her mind fifteen counts to realize what the situation was.

Saito was staring at her naked thighs and tush.

He spoke, as if breaking out of a trance, "I can explain this, Louise, really, I can."

Setting her mind to the task of rearranging her clothing for modesty - _since when have I been so concerned about showing skin around Saito? -_ she replied as placidly as she can, not revealing her panic, "Please do."

What she heard from Saito took her completely by surprise. "I've earned the ill will of a very powerful person, who can make me do things in my sleep that I'd never do while I'm conscious. Your clothes, you must believe me, Louise, that I would never force myself on you in frustration, never turn against you even in rage. He told me what he was making my body do, like a hand puppet, and then sent me back to wake and find us in this position."

"Saito..."

"Lock me outside your room, Louise. That way, if I fall asleep and under his control again, I won't be able to do anything bad to you."

Louise gave him a look that said "Are you totally brainless?" and took her wand, chanting, "Door, be held in place by magic." The wooden frame gleamed pink once, then faded back to normal.

"Wait! I'm still here inside with you! What did you just do?"

"Think, Saito. If you were indeed controlled into doing this to me, what would people say in the morning when they find you in another girl's room, taking her clothes off? For that matter, now that you've told me of your plight, do you think I would chance exposing my sisters to that danger?"

"But if I fall asleep again, inside, with you, I'm afraid I might do more..."

"Whatever happens in this room, at night, remains inside this room. Since you are my familiar, anything you do wrong would bring shame on me and my family name, and everybody knows how unique our case is. If I'm having trouble controlling my familiar, well, that's Zero Louise as normal, but if someone else gets in trouble because of you - do you get my drift?"

"I do," Saito replied, seeing Louise's short leash on him in a new light. "However, how will you safeguard yourself from my uncontrolled, unwanted advances?" He saw her blush as she turned her back on him.

"Who says they're unwanted?" he heard her whisper softly.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Back in his dreamscape, one of Pan-Samun's hydra heads chided him, "Dude, that was a bit heavy-handed, don't you think?"

"To tell you the truth, that's about the only act of mind control I can engage in. It doesn't work when the creature's body clock is saying go-go-go, and neither will it work if my target is in plenty of skin to skin contact with an attractive member of the opposite gender. Sheer animal instinct and attraction takes over, making me look like a second-rate, trying-hard, hypnotist," Pan-Samun replied.

"Mmmm-ummmm. Deliciously flat-chested girl loving on the dream channels tonight!" another head piped up.

"Sod off. Listen everyone, fold back in, and let's give the couple some privacy," Pan-Samun ordered the other heads. The heads, some of which were actually facets of Pan-Samun's personality and powers, while the others were various animal spirits he had defeated to obtain their powers and domains, groaned at this, calling him a spoilsport, but they all complied.

"You are strong, Saito. You resisted a devil's deal, and have proven yourself worthy as my hand in the mortal world. We shall speak again soon, and I am looking forward to it." With that, the strange god slept, joining his animal subjects in their dreams, leaving Saito and Louise to enjoy each other freely.


	3. The Plan

DISCLAIMER: I still don't own Zero no Tsukaima. What gives?

**Chapter 3 – The Best-Kept Secret**

Evang Erion blinked as he sensed a ripple in reality. It seemed like his deity had decided to use him as a conduit to withdraw his protection from Saito Hiraga. Unfortunately, this had the side effect of leaving his body tingling all over - a sensation which he did not particularly care for. "I need a tree," he muttered to himself, "One that hopefully, would not house a dryad this time around." Dryads were generally shy, but were fiercely protective of their trees. They would try to charm intruders and leave them pining for a glance of their sylvan beauty, and the poor victims would waste away, ignoring their need for food and water until they were weak enough that an animal could easily finish them off. That almost happened to him, and only his then active static electricity field kept the animals at bay.

An understanding of resistance and conductivity was essential in becoming a Red Wizard, whose domains dealt with largely destructive forces. A tree, rooted firmly in the soil and with water coursing through its capillaries, would be an ideal power sink. Evang could of course fire off the excess magicalness tingling through him into the night sky, but that would create an aurora, effectively broadcasting his location from the enemies he was on the run from and the quarry he was chasing down. His rotes – memorized spells -would be unpredictable while he was tingling, and even his simple cantrips would turn into low-level attack spells.

First he had to get out of the kitchen cellar, though. He heard the winds of war howling portents in his head, and he had another mission from Pan-Samun to see to.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Of course, Albion wasn't sitting pretty – it sent out a large army to take Henrietta's head. The numbers ranged from 70,000 to 7,000,000 – whatever the exact number, it was a well-trained force of mages, archers, artillery, warriors and monsters. This of course wasn't taking Albion's dragonriders into account. They were all driven back, though, and some say it was only due to the sacrifice of a certain commoner familiar.

This was all rumor, of course. The familiar might be a powerful swordsman, but no swordsman left charred and burnt corpses and ashen remains on a battlefield.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Saito buried his face into something smooth, fragrant, and warm. He inhaled, and his sleep-fuddled mind wondered why it smelled like Louise.

Louise frowned in her sleep, vaguely remembering when she had felt this weight before. Then it hit her – it was early during her second year here at the Tristain Academy of Magic.

He flicked his tongue out. Hmm, it even tasted like Louise.

She shivered when she felt something wet and warm slide across the crook of her shoulder and neck. Her eyelids fluttered open. "Saito?"

He opened his eyes at the sound of his name. "Louise?"

They stared at each other in silence. Finally, Saito spoke, "I'm thankful I could return, to this, to you."

"You don't regret not being able to stay with that fairy with big breasts?" Louise asked scathingly.

"That would have meant staying dead and being away from you," Saito answered, "And your deliciously flat chest."

Louise was shocked. "W- What did you just say?"

"I love you, Louise, the whole of you. Your short-temper, your sharp yet soft tongue, and your delectable chest with those pink nubbins."

"You're lying! You're a breast man! You said so yourself on numerous occasions that breasts are the most important things to look for in a woman! For you, it's big breasts or nothing!"

"Let me clarify some things. First, I said I was a breast lover."

"Ha! So there! Proof! Perverted dog!"

"I'm not yet done. You seem to be laboring under a misconception, Louise. A breast lover likes them all, big or small, but the breasts most pleasing to him are those of his loved one."

"You better be telling the truth, Saito."

"I am. Listen, Louise, I may look at other women, I may appreciate another woman's body, but at the end of the day, when all is said and done, the only body, naked or otherwise, that I want to fall asleep embracing is yours, and yours alone," Saito vowed, staring at her chest.

She realized where he was looking at, and turned as pink as her hair, groaning, "You really like my chest, or lack of it?"

"Like it? I'm crazy about it." So saying he leaned down and kissed her.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Evang's teleport was perfect. He materialized in the woods near the walled academy, and immediately began to shiver from the chill. He quickly looked for a fallen tree trunk, but none were lying around. With an impatient, jittery slashing gesture, he caused a two-foot square of underbrush to leap into flame and began to warm himself.

As he stared at his hands, held out to the blaze, and at the flames beyond them, he fell into a trance, and heard Pan-Samun's voice greet him, "I almost lost my gamble a while back, Red Wizard. It appears I owe you, now."

"No, Great One, I would say we are even now. My only gripe is that I wished I had arrived earlier, and saved the boy a brush with death."

"Death comes to all mortals, Wizard. As it was not the boy's time to die, for which I am extremely grateful, he was sent back to the land of the living. And my plans of realizing a Gandalfr-Void Mage bloodline grows closer to fruition with each night that passes."

"That's it, then. I'll be going back to my ship now."

"It is not yet finished, Wizard. I have a favor to ask of you."

"I don't do favors, Beast Lord. I trade boons for service."

"That was my intention, Wizard. I wish you to perform a service for me, at the end of which you may name a reward that is in my power to provide."

"Same terms as before, eh? What will this service consist of?"

"I want you to take care of our favorite commoner-noble pair until my plans bear fruit. Do so by applying for a teaching position at the Academy."

"Your plans bearing fruit involve her bearing his child?"

"As always, your perception pleases me. Yes, you are to watch over them until their child grows to maturity and exhibits abilities from either parent."

"That will take me 15 years to see, now, won't it? I'll be bone dust by then."

The deity gave a snort. "Your kinddo not die easily to the sword of time. Quite the opposite, in fact."

Evang shrugged. "A teaching position, huh? I wonder what I could teach that will not drive the students insane?"

"How about 'The price of freedom is eternal vigilance'? It seems fitting, in the light of Albion's recent activity."

It was the wizard's turn to snort. "Whatever. I'll be expecting a boon worth 15 years of insanity, Pan-Samun. Catch you later."

Evang came out of his trance and noticed that dawn had broken, and that the flames he had created last night were still burning. The surrounding foliage and brush looked dried out, as if they had just been hit hard by a drought. This was no drought, though – this was _defiler _magic, which consumes life energies around the caster to give it reality. Aghast at his own carelessness, he proceeded to dispel the flames with _preserver_ magic, sending the mana back into the surrounding foliage and encouraging the plants' health.

At the ripe old age of 250 years, Evang never thought he'd be teaching magic basics. Better make a good impression for the interview, he thought, trying to sense where the nearest body of water was and heading out once he located it. Hopefully this one wouldn't have a naiad or some other water-folk in it, but knowing his luck, he wouldn't hold his breath.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

The Tristain Academy was awakened not by the usual Void Magic explosion retort, but by Eleanor de la Valliere's outraged screech.

"Chibi-Louise! What are you doing in bed with that brazen commoner?"

"Eleanor-nee-sama?" Louise mumbled, rubbing sleep out of her eyes. She struggled to sit up, dislodging the blanket in the process.

"You're naked?! And under the sheets with that boy?! That's it, we're going home!!!"

"Eeeeh?!"

"Man, why is it so noisy in the morning, can't you girls keep it down, I'm still trying to get some sleep here," Saito grumbled, tossing around and finally settling on his back. Kicking the blanket away, which suddenly felt too warm and heavy around his legs, he inadvertently gave Eleanor her second great shock of the morning – the sight of his bare behind.

It was simply too much for a twenty-something spinster to handle, especially in the morning. With a soft wail, Eleanor fainted – fortunately, Cattleya, who had been awake all this time, caught her from behind, saving her from a nasty bump.

"Eleanor-nee-sama!" Louise cried, horrified. "Saito, you stupid dog, look what you did to my sister!" she cried, slapping Saito on the back of his head. When he started to move, Louise realized something. "Don't you dare show your vulgar body to Cattleya-nee-sama or I'm really going to kill you, Saito!"

"Me? I've not done anything yet, Louise, I just woke up!"

"Ara, ara, should I also break out into righteous, sisterly indignation and demand that Saito take responsibility for compromising you?" Cattleya asked with a smile. Secretly she was hoping that the young couple would say yes. She could speak to Queen Henrietta about granting Saito some impressing-sounding title, maybe some property to go with it, so that her parents would have fewer grounds to oppose the marriage.

"Eeeehh?!" this time from both Louise and Saito.

"I'll let you two put some clothes on, and we'll talk later after Principal Osmond's ceremony."

"Ceremony?" Louise asked.

"It's to welcome a new teacher, I believe. Anyway, see you later."

XXXXXXXX

After getting dressed, the two headed for the courtyard. The gathering crowd brought back memories for both of them. "This was where we first met, wasn't it?" Saito remarked.

"Yes," was Louise's only reply. She was obviously preoccupied, and it didn't take a genius like Tabitha to figure out what was bothering her.

"You'll never be rid of me, Louise. Even if you send me away, even if they keep us apart, I'll come after you. If something pulls me back to my world, I'll make sure I drag you along with me."

"Is that supposed to reassure me?" she retorted with a measure of her usual waspishness.

Before Saito could reply, a sultry voice butted in, "Well, if Zero Louise won't come with you, how about me, darling? You don't have to drag me, I'll go willingly with you." Without warning, Saito felt a delicious heat embrace him and delightful softness press into his back. Ah, sweet bliss, he thought.

"Kirche! Let go of my Saito!" Louise demanded in a voice that somehow carried across the assembly.

"Did she say 'her Saito'?"

"That's the commoner familiar, right?"

"Well, the way she said it, you know?"

"Is she getting familiar with her familiar?"

"I suppose you could call it familiarity, in the way that bestiality means relations with beasts."

"Doesn't familiarity breed contempt?"

Hearing her classmates' whispers and seeing Kirche's smug grin made Louise realize what she just said, causing her face to turn redder than the Germanian's hair. "Saito! Why did you let Kirche embrace you like that?"

"It was a surprise attack! I'm not as aware of my surroundings when I'm not holding Derflinger in combat, and I can't very well go around the campus with my sword unsheathed, now, can I?"

Before Louise can work up one of her trademark tirades, the Principal appeared before the assembly with his guest of honor. The students piped down, eager to hear what he had to say.

"Good morning to you all, my dear students. First, allow me to express my gratitude that all who left for the war have returned whole. I know that it caused all of you to grow up faster than I would have liked. The effects of the war touch us still – the irreplaceable loss of Professor Colbert will remain in the recesses of this old mind. Celebrate life, and live each day fully – I believe this is what he would have advised each of you, had he the time."

"Now then, to lighter matters. In light of recent events, the faculty has decided to take on a new teacher, who will not only take over teaching Magical Theory, but will also instruct you in certain subjects never tackled by the Academy. Subjects like fighting alongside your familiars, sword versus sorcery, inscribing scrolls with spells – I'm sure he can come up with a lot more than what can be found in your texts. Now, without further ado, allow me to present Mister Scarlet Pimpernel, traveling professor." The Principal swept a bow, gesturing the guest to come forward.

Saito froze – the new teacher that the students were politely applauding was none other than Evang Gerion, Breaker of Walls (specifically the fourth).

"Before you ask, yes, I blame my mother for my name, but not as much if she had let my dad go with his choice of name, Vermillion. Vermillion Pimpernel is quite a mouthful isn't it? Anyway, Scarlet Pimpernel at your service – hmm, I can't say that to my students, now can I? Well, it matters little. I care not if I'm teaching nomads or nobles, for my one basic rule is this: you come to me to learn, and not impede others in doing so. The Principal has mentioned I will lecture on Magical Theory – that is my only scheduled, regular class. After that, it will be classes by demand – I will try my best to accommodate reasonable requests for lectures. Your suggestions for experiments and demonstrations are always welcome. That is all." With a wide grin, he gave an extravagant vow of his own, and stepped back to let the Principal speak again.

"We will be helping Mr. Pimpernel get used to the Academy, so there will be no regular classes. However, if he is agreeable to it, he can hold his first free class after the tour."

The students looked expectantly at 'Mr. Pimpernel.'

"Hey, why not? It's an honor, really, to teach such a wonderful body of students. See you later, then – eh?"

'Mr. Pimpernel' flailed and lost his balance as Kirche's familiar, Flame, sprang at him and tackled him to the grass.

"Oof! Easy there, big boy."

"Flame!! Let the good professor go!" Kirche commanded, looking slightly embarrassed by her familiar's behavior. She strode to where the salamander was sitting on the wizard, and bodily pulled her pet off. "I'm terribly sorry, sir. Flame, sit!"

"Eh, no harm done, young lady, no harm done. It's really my fault – reptilian creatures react very vehemently in the presence of dragonhide armor. Speaking of which, are those wind dragons – uh oh!"

The teachers scattered in the wind and flame generated by Tabitha's Sylphid and and Julio's Azuro, respectively. Evang pushed Kirche out of the way and was caught in a flaming tornado.

Dragonhide was a wonderful thing. It was extremely tough, yet workable into certain shapes, like a cloak. While it protected him from the intense heat and flames, it didn't do squat against the wind. As he was being tossed about willy-nilly, Evang thought that it was fortunate that no one encased him in ice before being subjected to this torture. A single punch post-flaming tornado would rip him in half, had he been iced.

All of a sudden, it was over. The flames were gone, the winds were calm, the dragons held to the ground by magical nets and muzzles, and the other faculty members were wiping sweat of their brows. All that remained was landing safely, and so Evang spread his dragonhide cloak out and it assumed draconian wing shapes, allowing him to glide safely down. As soon as his feet touched the ground, the cloak flew up, literally, heading up to the sky, shrinking into a speck and finally out of their sight. "Well, that was quite a surprise. Still, no harm done, though I better wash off the scent of my cloak. Now, Principal, don't go punishing the young ones. I was at fault, after all."

Osmond led 'Mr. Pimpernel' off, rubbing his beard and marveling at the recent events. The whispers among the students were already building up.

"He's unkillable!"

"Nah, you heard him, it was the cloak that saved him."

"I gotta get me one of those!"

"Where can we buy one?"

"Maybe we can collect one dragon scale at a time – nah, that's stupid."

"He sounds like a forgetful old coot, doesn't he?"

"Yeah. Weird, though, he doesn't look close to the principal's age."

Meanwhile, Evang was thanking his lucky stars that he had not been vaporized earlier. "Stay calm, stay calm, despite the fact that being attacked by dragons is no new experience to me, it's still pretty shocking," he whispered to himself. He fished around his pockets for a clean handkerchief and mopped his brow. "At any rate, infiltration accomplished." He also made a mental note to be cautious around the older de La Valliere sisters.

He soon found himself being led into a modestly furnished room by the Principal. "I shall send a servant shortly," Osmond began.

"Ah, I'll be needing a tub to soak my clothes in, sir."

"Of course. Anything else?"

"No, sir. That will be all, a tub, and I can handle the rest."

"You're not going to ask for water and soap?" Osmond asked, curious.

Evang nodded. Osmond shrugged. "Alright then, I'll send one of the menservants over with your request."

"I appreciate it sir." Evang bowed. He watched the door close, waited a bit, and took a tentative sniff. "Ugh. I smell of roasted dragonhide."


	4. A Long Time Coming

DISCLAIMER: I still don't own Zero no Tsukaima.

**Chapter 4 – Heavy-handed**

"Now, I hope today's lecture as sparked some interest in you regarding alternative ways of learning and casting magic. Now, I declare next week to be familiar and magical beast week, so come up with interesting questions about the wonderful beasts and bring them to class. Class is dismissed, except for Miss de la Valliere. Please stay with your familiar, and the rest of you may go."

The class was abuzz at the possible reasons why Louise and Saito were asked to stay behind. Speculations ran from teaching Louise how to actually use magic without having something blow up, to Professor Pimpernel questioning her about her real relationship with her human familiar. The last one wasn't even whispered, and Evang raised an eyebrow when he heard it.

Soon, the classroom was empty, and with a gesture, the old mage closed all entrances, tinted the windows black, and set up a ward against scrying and listening spells. Okay, it was more like a couple of minutes weaving arcane letters in the air. Satisfied with his preparations, he turned to face the waiting couple.

"I'm not going to beat around the bush," he said without preamble. "Professor Pimpernel is just an alias – Saito knows me as Evang Gerion, Breaker of the Fourth Wall, humble servant of Pan-Samun, a Spirit Lord of Magic. His domain is mainly magical beasts, of which familiars are a subset of, which places Saito in a very curious position."

"So, why are you telling me – us this?" Louise asked. She glanced at the older man, and then at her familiar. "What do I have to do with this?"

"My lord Pan-Samun has need of Saito's cooperation, and we are following procedure at this point. We know he is your familiar, and so I ask this on my master's behalf – will you give up your claim on him? It seems you wanted a majestic familiar when you performed the spell that summoned Saito. We could provide you with one fit for a queen – a silver golem, a golden dragon, a brass automaton that would protect you from all harm. Well?"

"Part with Saito? You must be out of your mind! I couldn't desecrate the holy summoning ritual, and besides, I don't even believe in your deity."

"Oh, well, I was just following orders from my boss. Now, if you won't part with him, give him his free will, will you listen to a trade offer for services?"

"What sort of services?" Saito asked, immediately suspicious.

Evang held his hands out to the side, palms up, and shrugged. "Two services actually. One is to serve as Pan-Samun's agent whenever the need should arise, meaning going on quests from time to time until his goals have been achieved, at which point he will grant you any boon you ask of him. The second, well, how should I put it, he needs a child with the blood of a Void mage and a Gandalfr running through his or her veins for a greater plan, and isn't willing to wait another six millennia for both parents to appear again. Guess who's been elected to prospective mommy and daddy?"

Both teens went red. "Now wait just a damned minute!" Saito protested. "Quests are okay, but your second request – you must be out of your mind old man! That's why _he _sent you?"

"Saito's right! I w-would n-never," Louise stammered angrily, but Evang cut her off with a wave of his hand.

"Oh please, Louise, come off of it. The truth is, if you had a bosom that would put Siesta's and Kirche's to shame, you'd use it to snag Saito's attention and take advantage of his being a man to further ensnare him, right?"

"That's a lie!!!" she yelled.

"I don't think overly large breasts would sit well on Louise," Saito declared. "Besides, I love her as she is already."

"Saito," she sighed.

"But I must admit, I would love to be able to feel something squish against me when I embrace her," he added as an afterthought.

"And at least make it so that she's no longer a zero in that aspect?" Evang hazarded, grinning.

"That too."

"Perverts! You're nothing but a pair of breast maniacs! I'm out of here! Come along, you horny dog!" Louise huffed. Marching to the nearest door, she found to her dismay that it would not budge. "Saito, you open the door!"

"What do you want me to do? It's obviously locked by magical means."

"Break it down! Ram it, or chop it away with Derflinger!"

"I must protest against being used against a door like an ax," complained the sword.

"Just one swing, please, Der?" Saito asked.

"Only because it's you, partner. Fine. One swing, no more, no less, so make it count, ok?"

"Thanks, Der." Saito unleashed the talking sword, causing the runes on his hand to glow. Taking a deep breath, he focused his thoughts on the wooden obstacle in front of him and with a shout swung Derflinger against the door. He felt the shockwave run up the sword to his elbow, forcing him to drop the protesting sword to the floor. "Augh! I can't feel my arm!"

"Saito!" Louise cried, cradling his arm against her flat chest. "You, old pervert, what did you do to him?"

"Well, he did strike an enchanted, warded door. What do you think happened?" Evang replied.

"In that case," she said, mostly to herself, "I'll use magic on it!"

"Stop, Louise!"

"Saito? Why are you telling me to stop?"

"What if it also reflects your magic and harms you worse than it harmed me?"

"We won't know until we try, now, won't we?" This was, of course, what Pan-Samun and Evang wanted to see.

"You won't be dissuaded no matter what I say, will you?" Saito asked.

"No. Now, stand aside, Saito, and let me blast a way out of here."

"Alright, I trust you, Louise. Be careful."

One blinding flash and one big-ass explosion later, Evang was standing behind two injured teens. He noted though that the enchantment he placed on the door was gone, while the door itself was intact with nary a scratch. _"It looks like she's learning control, in a way. Good._" He reached into his robes and withdrew a potion bottle. "I won't ask you for an answer today, and I'm sorry you got hurt. Here, it's a perseverance potion, good for two. It will let you heal at an amazing rate while you sleep – you'll be fine by morning."

"Why should we trust you?" Saito asked. "I know your god, and he is a devious one."

"So you'd rather have her suffer while you look for a healer? Suit yourself. Let me say this – poisoning you would not serve my master's interests. Rest assured this is not poison that I am holding in my hand." He knelt and placed the bottle on the ground, and standing up, he added, "The pain and paralysis from my Bite Reflection ward cannot be healed without magical aid. Just so you know." With that, he vanished, leaving the two teenagers clutching each other.

"Are you alright, Louise?"

"I can manage, but let me tell you, this sucks, Saito."

"I can only imagine how much worse it is for you. Can I leave you alone while I drag myself to that potion?"

"I think so. So, we're going to take it? I thought you don't trust him or his god."

"True. But I know that god, and if it was indeed his plan to have you conceive my child, he'd want us in perfect health, wouldn't he? I know I would." He slowly got to his feet, shuffled to the bottle and picked it up, returning to Louise afterward. "Should we drink it now, or do you want to wait until we're at our room?"

"Well, he said something about healing us while we sleep. I think the potion will send us to sleep once we take it, so best return to our room first," Louise decided. Reaching for Saito's good hand with hers, she rose to her feet with his aid.

MMMMMMMMMMMMM

Meanwhile, Evang was in his room, reporting to Pan-Samun using a mirror made of polished brass. "I came clean with them and told them of our plans. Of course, I sealed the room before doing so."

"_And what is their answer?"_

"They're agreeable to the quests – she'll probably want to tag along in any quests we asks the Gandalfr to embark on. It can't be helped, I think."

"_Hmm. That isn't so bad. The more adventures they have together, the closer the bond between them becomes, right?"_

"Hopefully, yes. As for having them breed us a little bundle of joy with Void mage and Gandalfr blood, well, they wanted nothing to do with that, and decided to force their way out of the sealed room we were in using brute force and magic. That didn't go too well."

"_Were they hurt? Is that why they are not with you right now? I specifically remember ordering you to watch over them."_

He bristled at the censure in the god's voice. "They ran afoul of my ward, true, which is why I left them a perseverance potion – oh shit."

"_What have you done this time around?"_

Evang brought out all the potion bottles in his robes. Fulmination, various poisons, two exploding potions, and a healing potion – uh-oh. "I think I left them the wrong bottle."

"_You think?"_

"Okay, sorry, I left them the wrong bottle. It wasn't a healing potion."

"_Not one of your vile poisons, or you'll taste my wrath."_

"It was one of my 'The Big Night' potions."

"_Explain yourself."_

"It's a potion that I personally created, which I sell to couples who have recently gotten married and are unsure of what to do on the marriage bed, or more commonly to rakes who wish to be at their peak form for nights of debauchery."

Pan-Samun was not an obtuse god. _"In their current state, would lovemaking not make their injuries worse?"_

"No. Peak form, remember? It's a combination healing potion, aphrodisiac, and performance enhancer. However, I haven't tested it out on Void mages or humans acting as familiars."

"_If anything bad happens to those two, I will have your head. Is this clear, planeswalker?"_

"Yes, lord."

YYYYYYYYYYYY

"We're here, Louise."

"Finally," she sighed. The door swung open at their approach, revealing Cattleya's concerned face and form. "Chii-nee-sama?"

"Louise? Kishi-dono? What happened to you two? Where were you all this time? Why are you hurt?"

Louise and Saito scrambled for an excuse, Louise being the faster one. _Kishi-dono? Why is my sister addressing Saito as Sir Knight?_ "Well, I asked for special lessons from Professor Pimpernel on how to control my magic, and ended up almost killing Saito and myself."

"Oh my! And the Professor?"

"He got rid of most of the pain, but we have to take this potion to get back to normal. We each can't move an arm, so he left this to us and told us to take it before we sleep," Saito answered, showing the bottle he held in his good hand.

"Then I will leave the two of you alone, and tell nee-sama to save her questions for you until tomorrow."

"Thank you, onee-sama."

"Rest well, and be well, both of you."

"We will. Thanks again." With a nod, Cattleya left their room.

"You'll need help getting undressed, won't you, mistress?" Saito asked, smiling at Louise.

"I guess so," Louise smiled back. "Don't you get uncomfortable, sleeping with all those clothes on?"

"Well, now that you mention it, it is uncomfortable." _"But if I wear less clothing, it's going to be a different kind of discomfort I'll be in, having your scantily-clad body so close to mine with only so few layers of cloth keeping them apart."_

"Let's get undressed so we can take the potion and sleep, Saito."

"_I'll strip down to my undershirt and my boxers. Nothing will happen. Nothing _will _happen," Saito chanted mentally. _ "By all means, let's."

The sound of rustling clothes filled the silence, giggles erupting as they 'accidentally' discovered each other's ticklish spots. At the end of it all, they were breathing heavily and flushed, their eyes sparkling. "Shall I pour for us, my lady?" Saito asked, sweeping her a mock bow.

"Yes, please, if you will, Sir Knight." Louise watched as he poured half the contents of the bottle into the glass on her bedside table and handed it to her. He lifted the bottle and offered a toast.

"To a speedy recovery."

"To a good morning tomorrow."

They made sure they were in bed before drinking their portions. Louise put her glass back on the table, while Saito tossed the empty vial onto the hay that used to be his bed. They burrowed into the sheets and slept.

Two hours before dawn, Louise woke up to a burning sensation around her heart, or to be more precise, the spot on her chest directly above her heart. She didn't like this feeling, so she felt for her wand and lit her lamp. She looked down on herself and could not believe what she saw. "Saito!"

Hearing her cry out his name, he jackknifed to a sitting position and was instantly awake, his mind entering battle mode and sending instructions to his glands to start producing natural combat drugs. "What's the matter, Louise?" He looked at her, and saw.

"My chest, Saito. I felt a burning there, and when I lit the lamp to look at it, I saw this, and woke you up. This isn't my chest, Saito! What could have happened? Could it be the potion?"

Wordlessly, Saito raised both his hands – he could move them both now, a fact that he and Louise noted – and placed them on her newly formed, C-cup breasts. Her reaction was immediate. She gave him a slap, using her previously injured hand. "Well, at least both of our limbs are fine now, so everything's right with the world, yes?"

"No, it is definitely not alright! I have these, these _things _like that brazen maid has!"

"Nah, if I'm any judge, I'd say you're now the same size as Princess Henrietta," Saito spoke, then gulped as he realized what he had just said. He felt the pressure of Louise's death glare.

"Saito?" she sang out, "Why do you know HOW LARGE HIME-SAMA'S B- B- BREASTS ARE?"

"Well," he weaseled, "I'm a breast man, right? I pay attention to such things."

"Does this mean you've seen hime-sama in her bedclothes?" Louise asked sweetly, too sweetly.

"N- No! Most definitely, no!"

"Then, was it during that time when I smelled her perfume on you, at the theater? It was, wasn't it? Don't lie to me!"

"Fine! Yes, it was. We had to disguise the princess then, but the only clothes available were yours, so we tried to fit her into your blouse and skirt. The skirt was fine, but she was almost spilling out of your blouse. Later on, to fool guards on patrol, we had to act like lovers, which included her rubbing up against me and kissing her and-" Saito stopped himself before he dug himself deeper into his grave.

Louise didn't know what to think. This perverted dog kissed the princess, rubbed against her, and did other unspeakable things to Her Highness? Things that she had no idea about, but was pretty sure hadn't been inflicted on her person? "Tell me what else you did with the princess!"

"No! A gentleman does not kiss and tell!"

"You're no gentleman, you're a perverted, horny dog!"

Something in Saito finally snapped, like the first time they visited Louise's family manor. "Then it's time I started behaving like one!" Without warning he pulled Louise to him and captured her mouth with his, her gasp of surprise allowing his tongue to plunder the moist warmth that was suddenly opened to him. He pushed her down to the mattress and felt heady elation at her lack of struggle and the sensation of something soft being squished against his chest. He groaned into her mouth, and she responded in kind while her fingers ran up and down his sides. Feeling the need to return the favor, Saito sent his hands exploring her sleek form, finally breaking the heated kiss and trailing his lips down her neck. She tensed, quivering in anticipation for his lips to explore her chest, and she was not disappointed. He nibbled on a newly raised mound, going around in a spiral before finally closing in on the sensitive pink nipple, eliciting a gasp from her. When he began to suckle, she cried out, "Saito!"

"Hush, Louise, you don't want to wake anyone up, especially your sisters, would you?" Saito asked.

"No," she said quietly, looking up at her familiar in wonder, and a bit of fear.

"Good girl. Now, time to give your other breast equal treatment before it gets jealous," he chuckled softly before subjecting her other breast to the same sweet torment he was giving to her before. He knew there was no turning back for him – he was hard as a rock and his body was screaming for release, and it knew that one who would help them achieve release was nearby. One of his hands snaked down, slid under the hem of her nightgown and pushed up, causing the sheer material to bunch around her tiny waist. Releasing her breast with a sigh, Saito sat back and stared at the small scrap of lace covering his objective from his gaze.

"Promise me something, Saito?"

He reluctantly tore his gaze from the scrap of lace and looked into her eyes. He said nothing, merely nodding his head to show her that he was listening.

"After this," she said in a quivering voice, "Promise me you won't leer and stare at other girls anymore."

He stared into her eyes for a minute, raked his gaze up and down her body before locking gazes with her again and replying, "I promise."

They stared at each other, and when Louise smiled tentatively Saito took that as a signal to proceed. He brought his teeth to bear against her panties, teasing the sensitive flesh through the lace, smiling at her moans. He slid his fingers under the waistband of the lace and began to slowly pull them off of her. "Lift your hips," he instructed her in a voice gone hoarse with emotion. She did, and soon she was exposed to the gaze of her lover, her see-through nightgown no impediment at all. He placed his hands on her knees and pulled them apart.

"Ah, no, don't look at me there!" Louise cried in true maidenly fashion. Saito ignored her, in true perverted fashion, and spread her thighs out further, then without warning dove down and pressed a kiss to the fleshy, fragrant folds. She shrieked as his tongue made its presence felt, and soon she was sobbing his name and begging him to stop even as her hands pushed his face harder into her crotch. "Such a contrary, wonderful creature my master is," Saito thought, savoring her fragrance. Deciding that she was ready – he had _plenty _of empirical evidence – he leaned back to let her catch her breath as he took his undershirt off, followed by his boxers.

Louise gasped, her gaze automatically focusing on _that _part of him, which her maidenly instincts told her Saito was going to try and put inside her through the opening between her legs, and that there was no way _that _was going to fit in her. Without realizing it, she let out a worried whimper.

Saito had played enough _eroge_ and visual novels, to know that this was THE critical point, where he had to go slowly or lose this event, the only difference was that there were no save slots to revert to if things go bad. "I won't lie to you, Louise. This is our first time, and it would probably hurt, despite you being very wet down there. However, the next times we do this the pain will be gone. Do you trust me?"

"I trust you, Saito."

Saito spread her thighs to accommodate him, and placed the tip of his shaft an inch into her entrance. He slowly pushed his way in, keeping a tight rein on himself as he felt her slowly stretch around him, engulfing him in hot, moist tightness. He heard her gasp, and he pushed forward until he felt something block his progress. It was the final barrier, Louise's last bastion of maidenhood. A probing push told him that there was no getting through it without causing her pain. There must be a smart way out of this mess, he thought.

"Saito?" Louise asked worriedly. Why had he stopped? She moaned as his hands found her breasts, kneading them, rubbing her nipples and stroking their undersides. Saito bent forward to kiss her ear, then bit it while thrusting forward with his hips. "Ouch, what's the matter with you?" she complained, and on her next breath realized something. "S- Saito?"

"Yes, Louise?"

"You're in me."

"Yeah."

"I mean really in me. I can feel your length, your strong, hard length inside of me." She giggled as his member reacted to his words. "You're twitching inside me, Saito."

"Louise," he said gravely, "This is no laughing matter. My self-control is wearing thin, and I would like nothing more than to quickly thrust in and out of you and bring us fulfillment."

"So why don't you?" Louise asked, running her hands up his chest and tweaking his nipples. She was rewarded with a groan. "Oh, I see. Do I have such power over you, Saito?"

"Yes," he replied with gritted teeth. He prayed she didn't to that nipple trick again – he'd lose control and pound away at her if she did.

"I see you're in pain, Saito. What can I do to ease it?"

"Don't tell me to stop when I begin to do it."

"What do you mean, 'it'?"

"This!" Saito pulled back slowly, almost pulling out of her, then slid all the way back in. He repeated the process at the same speed about eight times before he began to pick up speed.

"Aaaaahhh! Saitooo!"

Things were a blur after that. When Saito finally recovered his senses, he saw Louise lying on top of him, her breasts pressed against his chest, sleeping soundly. He was exhausted, but a happy kind of exhausted. Thanking the gods that the dawning day was Void Day, which meant they could sleep in, he proceeded to do so.

HHHXXXHHHXXXHHH

"_You will keep your head on your shoulders, for now, planeswalker."_

"Thank you, my lord."

"_Thank your lucky stars as well. Had that been poison they drunk -"_

"You would have had me recover their bodies and transport them with haste to the Tower of Reincarnation, which you built when you still walked this earth, and bring them back to life, right?"

"_I have had enough of your impudence. This audience is at an end."_

Evang was silent, staring at the mirror for a while even though the god had left. "I think I actually managed to annoy him. Wow."


	5. Morning After

Disclaimer: I still don't own Zero no Tsukaima, which is a good thing because if I did there would be more fanservice.

**A/N: I apologize for the erratic update patterns – I have a girlfriend and am doing graveyard shift at work, which leaves me somewhat drained (Mind out of the gutter, you pervs!) and unable to write as often as I would like. To all my reviewers, thank you!**

**Chapter 5 – Morning After**

_Poke. Poke._

Saito grumbled. He was feeling rather heavy this morning and didn't want to get up.

_Poke, poke, and poke._

What the heck was going on? Who's poking me? _I still don't want to get up. _He hugged this warm pillow he had his arms wrapped around a bit tighter.

_Poke, poke, poke, bite._

"What the heck?!" Saito's eyes flew open, and bulged out at the sight of Louise trying to take a chunk out of his hide – literally! "Louise!"

"So you're finally awake! Let me up! I need to relieve myself! Although as a familiar, I don't know why I have to tell you such a thing!"

"…We'll talk later. Okay, you're free to go – I'm not exactly into water sports and golden showers."

"Golden showers? What do you mean by that?"

"Like I said, we'll talk later."

Louis pushed off, and suddenly faced a dilemma. She was naked, with her familiar – no, he wasn't just her familiar, not anymore. If he was still a mere familiar, _she _wouldn't be having second thoughts about showing her naked body to him. "Um, Saito, can you look away?"

Her upper teeth worried her lower lip, and one of her arms was thrown over her chest, while her other hand was trying to cover up her nest of pink curls in a belated act of maidenly modesty. Saito thought she looked cute. "What's the matter, Louise? Don't you need to relieve yourself and clean up?"

"I can't do so if you're looking at me!"

"Louise, I already saw all of you last night, when we did much more than look at each other naked," Saito pointed out with a smile. His smile grew wider when he saw her realize it, and her face turned pink. Inspiration struck him. "Would you want me to take care of you this morning? Helping you bathe, changing clothes, and carrying you down to the breakfast hall – would you like me to do that for you?"

"Well, I'm still a little shy about parading my body in front of you," Louise admitted. "I think I can take care of myself this morning."

Saito's face fell. "Does that mean I don't get to watch?"

HHHXXXHHHXXX

"What about this one, Saito?"

After Louise had cleaned up and was ready to change into her Void Day clothes, she and Saito discovered a problem.

"Nope, you'll still end up looking like Kirche. There's no hope for it – we have to get your clothes altered to accommodate your breasts."

"I guess we can visit a tailor – it's fortunate that it's Void Day today."

"Isn't there a magic can fix things like this?"

"Don't be absurd! Who would want to use magic on such a mundane thing? Besides, if it did exist, the economy would collapse – weavers, tailors, and _modistes_ would be out of work! We'll have riots on the streets and persecution of magic!"

"Oh, I see. I didn't think of things that far down the road. Still, what are _you _going to wear to town? Most of your dresses are too tight around the bodice, and those that aren't will display your charms in a scandalous manner."

"I don't think it's scandalous."

"Well, I do. You're not wearing those while I'm around."

"Why do you have a say in what I wear and what I can't? You're not my father!"

"I have a say because I'm the guy who has to beat up every punk who leers at you if you go out in such revealing wear! Are you saying you're comfortable baring your chest for the world to see?"

Louise was silent, remembering how she felt when she first saw Scarron's worker's "uniforms," and how she felt when she learned she had to wear one. On her, they were somewhat 'modest,' but any girl with a normal set of breasts would be displayed appetizingly to the patrons. For some reason, she was warmed by Saito's indignation at her would-be 'admirers.' She decided to give him a break. "Alright, we'll see if we can borrow one of Cattleya-nee-sama's blouses." Saito seemed to find this idea acceptable, as he nodded without a word.

Taking care of how she walked, she gingerly made her way to the door, Saito right behind her ready to lend assistance, when he suddenly wondered, "How are we going to explain things to your older sister? Do we make up a story?"

"We tell her the truth. It doesn't feel right lying to Cattleya-nee-sama."

They found themselves a few minutes later explaining things not only to Cattleya, but to Eleonor as well, who happened to be in the pink-haired older sister's room. Cattleya readily agreed to lend Louise one of her blouses, and Eleonor, not wanting to be outdone, insisted she take one of her smaller blouses as well. Taken aback at their generosity, Louise could not say a thing. It impressed Saito as well. He always thought that sisters tended to be possessive of their apparel, accessories, and cosmetics. When they made to leave, Eleonor told them to wait.

"You say you got this potion from Professor Pimpernel?" Eleonor asked.

"Yes, we did." They had no reason to lie.

Eleonor, eldest daughter of the de la Valliere family, was pensive for a moment. "I might just pay a visit to the man. Cattleya, you will come with me, just to make sure appearances are kept."

"Appearances?" Saito wondered aloud, and wished he hadn't when he received Eleonor's frown.

"Are you really _that _simple-minded? A young woman visiting a man's chambers, unchaperoned – it's very improper! What would people say if they saw me going alone?"

Saito bit his tongue, not wishing to say what was on his mind. Suffice it to say it ran along the lines of 'desperate spinster does not wish remain on the shelf and die a virgin.' "Thank you for enlightening this simple commoner, Miss de la Valliere," he ground out and bowed. He and Louise left her sister's room, the clothes folded in a bundle and held in front of her chest – another deterrent from unwanted attention.

"Ah, Louise – what's with those clothes?" Montmorency asked, Guiche trailing after her. Seeing them, he greeted them with a nod.

"Oh, she's going to try her hand at embroidery, and so she asked her sisters for some clothes she can practice on," Saito replied before Louise could open her mouth.

"I see he's still beating you to the punch, eh, Louise? It's good to see you back, cheeky familiar. This place was so dull and quiet without Louise raging at you," Guiche remarked. "Without the beautiful Montmorency to adore, it might have been unbearable for me. I would have gone mad from boredom."

"I'm glad to know you see us as entertainment, Guiche," Saito drawled sarcastically. "Do you want to see if you can beat me with your bronze golems now? I need the practice, and I don't want to get rusty."

Louise pulled Saito's ear. "We're going to town, remember? You don't have time to play around with Guiche."

"Oops, I forgot. Some other time, Guiche."

As they left, Montmorency whispered to Guiche, "Something's odd about those two." Her companion merely nodded, scratching his chin with his rose wand.

HMMHMMHMMHMM

When Pan-Samun wasn't answering his requests for information, Evang turned to the traditional source of information for red mages – the earth itself. If one wanted to know what was happening in the land, one went directly to the source, or so the theory went. For the old planeswalker, he saw it as an excuse to sit his ass on grass, close his eyes, and extend his senses to the fullest. It made him feel alive and rejuvenated – it was like being in a hot spring without the steam and sulfur vapor.

It was in this state that Eleonor and Cattleya found him. They had sought out his quarters with trepidation, only to find that he wasn't there. A passing servant had informed the sisters of his whereabouts. Quickly getting over their embarrassment, they proceeded to Vestri Court and saw him almost immediately – it was pretty hard to miss a red-robed man sitting cross-legged with his eyes closed, floating a good twelve inches off the grass.

Eleonor cleared her throat. At the sound, he opened his eyes and drifted slowly to the ground. He got up, brushed the grass from his pants, and bowed to the two women. "Hello, ladies. What can I do for you?"

"I'll get straight to the point, _Professor Pimpernel_," Eleonor's tone made it clear that she thought he was using an assumed name. "Did you give a potion to my sister and her servant yesterday?"

"Indeed. They got injured in a little accident after class, and as a teacher it is my responsibility to tend to any student hurt within my sight and hearing."

"Can you explain then why my sister Louise suddenly grew -_**breasts**_?" Eleonor had difficulty getting the last word out, and was red in the face.

Evang weighed the pros and cons of revealing the truth about Louise and Saito to the two sisters, and decided at length that as sisters, they had the right to know. "Your sister and magic, any sort of magic, interact in very unpredictable ways. Care to guess what element your sister is attuned to?"

"Don't be ridiculous! Louise can't even properly cast a single spell – how can we find out what her affinity is?" Eleonor asked.

"Shouldn't that be a very big hint as to what your sister is capable of?"

"What do you mean with that cryptic comment, professor?" Cattleya asked.

"Let me spell it out for you then – Louise is a Void Mage, a very rare breed. The last one appeared six thousand years ago, and is signaled by the rebirth of the Gandalfr, _the _legendary familiar, bearer of the sentient sword Derflinger."

"That's impossible!" both sisters protested.

"Is it? Think about it. Why can't Louise cast spells that would be child's play, but can easily let loose blasts against Saito and rip ropes apart? Void is the element of negation, not outright destruction, even though it seeks to return all into nothingness. It can be thought of as _countermagic_. It is a contradiction – it seeks to negate magic, but cannot exist without surrounding magic."

"Still, to think that my sister, who had never showed aptitude in magic," Eleonor could still not believe it.

"The news came as a shock to us as well, Miss de la Valliere. Please, the two of you, sit down." With a gesture, Evang raised a mound of grass so that the two women would not have to sit cross-legged on the grass. They accepted his offer gratefully and sat down.

"Professor? When you mentioned it 'came as a shock to us' who did you mean?" Cattleya asked, taking over for her sister.

"I meant me and my order, the Breakers of Walls. We believe in utilizing magic to bring about mankind to their fullest potential, and the news that the long-lost Void Magic flowed once again was both a source of joy and concern for member of my order. We had created plans without taking into account Void Magic since it had been gone so long, and now that it's back, we could not foresee its effects on our plans."

"What does your order intend to do now?"

"The official memorandum ordered all members to be observant to events involving the Void, to report back to the superiors anything of note, and if need be make lightning decisions according to the situation. In a nutshell – roll with the punches and go with the flow."

"That's rather haphazard of your order," Eleonor retorted, sufficiently recovered. "I do hope you do not intend to do anything to my sister."

"Well, your sister's awakening certainly caught us flat-footed, Miss. Don't worry, the Order rarely sees mages that awaken out of the blue and not part of the Order yet not as threats, but as possible agents to accomplish their plans, with or without their knowledge of the roles they play in the complex machinations."

"I don't think I like the sound of that, Professor Pimpernel. Is that even your real name?"

"My, what is this, Miss Eleonor, the Inquisition? I'm flattered. My answer to that is, even if it was an assumed name would I admit to you? At least let me allay one of your fears. I'm actually here under orders to watch over your sister and her familiar, the young man Saito Hiraga. My mission is to do so for at least sixteen years." He did not add that he hoped the two would have a child during the time, the sooner the better. "I am to teach her about Void Magic, as much as can possibly be taught by a third party, and to train the Gandalfr of this generation to be the ultimate defender of this generation's Void Mage."

"So, the boy is really Gandalfr?" Cattleya asked.

"Yes, he is, and unless my old eyes deceive me, he's in love with her."

"I knew that. Don't give me that look, onee-san, I know what I'm talking about and I know what I saw. It's why he drugged her to sleep and sent her away before facing Albion's vanguard alone."

"So, what you want to say is, a potion meant for healing had the effect of causing my sister's breasts to develop because of her affinity for Void Magic?" Eleonor asked, incredulous.

Evang decided not to correct the details. "That is my current theory, yes."

"I would like to help you prove that theory, Professor." Eleonor declared.

"What are you saying, Miss de la Valliere? The only way of proving this sort of thing out is by experimentation. Surely you could not be applying as my assistant; for I know you are a researcher in your own right."

"I want you to test the potion you gave to Louise on me, Professor. Need I be any clearer?"

"Onee-san!" Cattleya began to protest.

"I must have you sign an agreement that will not hold me accountable for any ill that will befall you during the experiment, due to the fact that you came to me on your own free will and demanded to be made part of my study. Otherwise, the deal's off," Evang said. _There. That ought to keep you out of my hair, Miss Blond Brains with no Boobs._

"I will sign that agreement. When can we begin?" THUD!

"Onee-san! Really!" Cattleya sighed. When her sister got all fired up about something – actually, make that _sisters, _plural – they went all out. She peered at the Professor's twitching form, watching him right himself and stand up.

"Very well then, milady. We shall begin as soon as you sign," Evang said, snapping his fingers. A large crate materialized at his feet, and he began to rummage through it, tossing things over his shoulder as he did so. "Contract for binding of souls, no, contract for re-balancing longevity, not that either. Contract for marriage made in hell – definitely no! Ah, here it is – a waiver form!" he crowed triumphantly, holding a sheet of parchment aloft. "Now to find a normal quill and ink, not one of these ritual things..."

Within minutes, the contract was signed, Cattleya shaking her head and sighing all the while. "Are you really sure about this, onee-san?"

"What's with that attitude, Cattleya? Don't you trust my abilities?"

"It's not you I distrust, onee-san."

"I know what I'm doing, sister," Eleonor assured Cattleya. _I __**will **__discover the secret behind Louise's miraculous breast growth, and use it for myself! Once I do, men will ignore my age and I will become desirable, marriage material again! I shall have my pick of offers! Ohohohohohohohoho!_

Evang shivered. Something sinister brushed the edges of his psyche, something that he did not bother looking at in detail for fear of his sanity.

XXXMMMHHHMMMXXX

Saito was worn out. He spent the better part of the trip to town glaring at men who dared look at Louise and fingering Derflinger's scabbard poking over his shoulder. Louise tried her best to console him. "It's alright, Saito. Men will be men, and they will look at attractive women of any age. If anyone of them makes a move toward me, though, you have my full consent to beat the tar out of them."

"I never knew that I would be this possessive – no, protective of a girl, Louise. It's a very strange feeling."

"It must be you familiar instincts finally kicking in."

"No, it's more than that," he said with quiet assurance.

_What did he mean by that?_ Louise never had to voice the question, as Saito had already answered it.

"It's what I think I'd feel, back in my world, if I had a girlfriend."

"Girlfriend? What's that?"

"When used by a guy, it means a girl who is special to that guy. They're more than friends, they're lovers, and there's a good chance that they'll become engaged and eventually married."

"Saito," was all she could muster.

"That's why my life is so miserable and complex right now!" he continued. "I have this totally inappropriate set of feelings for you, I don't see you as a master but as a likable girl, and we've already done the thing that husbands and their wives do without me asking you to be my girl!"

"Ask me, then," she said quietly, silencing his tirade.

They were in the public square, beside a fountain, surrounded by milling people on all sides, the sounds of the city coming in every direction. Yet when she said those words time seemed to stop, and all of the world was reduced to just him and her. "What did you say?"

"I said, 'Ask me.' Ask me whether I would be your girlfriend, Saito."

The root of all of his angst boiled forth. "I can't, Louise. I'm afraid of your rejection."

"You'll never know what my answer will be unless you ask. Go ahead, ask away."

He gathered his courage, compressed it into a ball, and threw it into the winds of fickle fate. He knew that he would never ask this question again, regardless of the answer. "Will you be mine, Louise?" he asked for her ears only.

There, he had said it. Not, "Would you be my girlfriend?" or "Would you like to be my girlfriend?" (Too wussy in his opinion.) or "Would you do me the honor of being my girlfriend?" (No honor in being the girlfriend of a 17-year old guy who's stuck in a world not his own.) Few were the words, but the implied questions were many. Her reply would answer all of them, and more than that – it could very well make or break him as a man.

"Yes," she whispered, "I will, if you will be mine and no one else's."


	6. Ripples

**Saito's Dreams**

**Chapter 6 – Ripples**

Disclaimer – Zero no Tsukaima is not mine. I'd have Saito and friends discover a mobile suit/arm slave/variable fighter instead of a beat-up WW2 plane if it was mine.

GGGGGGGG

As Saito cuddled Louise to him as they slept in their bed, his mind replayed some of her words in his head.

"_I will, if you will be mine and no one else's."_

Does that preclude service to a cantankerous, quirky god who may or may not have a way of returning him to his world? Entertaining such thoughts, he slid into dreamland – and into a nightmare realm with Louise.

HHYHHYHHY

"Saito!"

_Great, I'm dreaming that I'm asleep._

"Saito!"

_Five more minutes, please?_

"Saito, wake up!"

"I'm awake, I'm awake!" he groused. He took a look around and noticed that 1) they weren't in Tristania anymore; 2) he was in his usual garb, Louise was in uniform; 3) everything was illuminated in a dismal, dull shade of blue-gray; 4) they were in some sort of high school, in the courtyard, to be exact; and 5) Louise was still stacked. "What's going on?"

"That's what I want to know! One moment, I was sleeping in bed, and the next thing I know, we're here!"

Saito got up. He looked at the blue-gray, claustrophobic, seemingly enclosed space and shivered. "It looks like my world, judging from the architecture."

"Eh, this is what Saito's world looks like? It's too dark for my taste."

"I think it's night-time, wherever this school that looks like home is. Let's head out to somewhere that will help us figure out where we are, like a bus station."

"What's a bus station?"

"It's a, how do I say it, a central hub for public transportation. Our vehicles here are powered by the same principles that are found in the Zero Fighter we found."

"You mean they fly as well?"

"Some of them, yeah, but the ones I'm seeking now don't."

"They just roll on the roads like carriages?" Louise guessed.

"Brilliant girl! I knew I-" THUNKK! "Oww."

"What's wrong, Saito?"

"It feels like I ran into something unyielding yet soft. A barrier, it seems like," Saito replied, eyeing the break in the wall where he had tried to pass through. Nothing was there, and yet when he reached out, he saw the air ripple like the surface of a pond. "What gives?"

Louise saw the phenomenon and tried it out herself. "I wonder if we can breach it with magic."

"Be careful."

"I will," she replied with a nod. Going with instinct, not bothering with an incantation or a formula and just letting the magic in her run free, she aimed her wand at the blank space.

Nothing happened. Louise's face fell.

"I say we look for an alternate exit. They can't be all trapped or shielded," he hoped.

SHNYSHNYSHNYSHNY

"Damn it to hell! The front gates and the back gates are shielded as well!" Saito growled.

"I'm getting hungry, Saito. This means it isn't a dream, right?" Louise asked.

"I know a great way to find out," Saito replied, and all of a sudden he grabbed Louise and gave her a long, warm, tongue-twisting kiss.

Moments later, when both of them came up for air, Saito looked around. The area was still awash in blue and gray. "Damn, that didn't work. Well, that's what I get for using mangaas an inspiration."

"Manga? You've mentioned it before. It's a form of entertainment in your world, right? Kind of like a book?" Louise reminded him.

"Yeah," Saito nodded. "In one volume I saw the main characters suddenly transported into a situation similar to ours while they slept, and they went through all sorts of trouble here before they kiss and the shared nightmare ends there."

"Is that so? If we are to follow that path, where's the 'all sorts of trouble' that they encountered that we've yet to see?" she asked.

"Well, if I remember correctly, there was the barrier around the school," Saito began to count.

"We've seen that," Louise remarked.

"Then what's next – uh oh."

"What?"

"In the manga," Saito hesitated.

"Yes?" Louie pressed. "What happened in the manga?"

"They flee destruction in the form big blue giants made of unknown energy, and the giants not only rampage but more and more appear until they have nowhere to hide."

"You mean something like that big glowing thing over there?" Louise asked, pointing her wand at the thing behind Saito.

Saito slowly craned his neck, not wanting to see what was behind them. He looked, and saw that it was huge, blue, and he could make out a vaguely humanoid outline inside a globe of cold flame. It wasn't a Celestial from **that novel** about some melancholic girl and her strange friends, but it was, if not more so, as dangerous. "An Archon?" Saito wheezed, recalling a creature from a world-famous real-time strategy game. It certainly looked like one, or at least he thought it would look like if they were real. "This is so totally messed up now!"

"You think you've seen messed up? It gets worse, kid," said a new voice.

"Who is it? Show yourself!" Saito demanded.

"Up there! Look!" Louise said, tugging on Saito's arm and gesturing with her wand. Not more than a couple of meters above their heads a small red ball of energy was floating suspended in mid-air. "I think it spoke!"

"Yes, I did! Listen, you don't have much time left, thanks to Saito's messing up of events in the story. As a result, the progression has skewed wildly – what you're in right now just vaguely resembles events that should have happened."

"How did I mess up the story? And what story – you don't mean were actually trying to relive the events of," Saito was cut off by the ball bobbing impatiently up and down.

"Well, you kissed her before the thrilling chase scene, you know? Always the eager weasel, you are."

"_**POWER OVERWHELMING," **_boomed around them. It seemed to come from the creature Saito had called an Archon.

"Ah, crap, it's starting to become aware. You'll have to fight your way out of this one, kids, but I'll help you out to the best of my abilities."

"Let me guess – Professor Pimpernel?" Louise asked.

"Right as always, Louise. So, Saito's unarmed, and Louise's magic doesn't work?"

"How did you know?" Saito demanded. Meanwhile the Archon began to float about in a small circle, as if testing its ability to defy gravity.

"Didn't I tell you, I was ordered to watch over you two by a scheming deity? Here, let me break a few walls and get you some gear – hopefully these things I'll be sending over will be compatible with you."

"What is this, the Matrx?" Saito asked, and then gasped. "Why is there an asterisk in my speech bubble when I tried to say 'Matx' and why am I aware of it?"

"Breaker of Walls, remember? Specifically, Breaker of the _Fourth Wall – _that's what each one of our Order does to their surroundings when we pull of our special maneuvers. That way we can avoid adding disclaimers whenever we drop in little cameos and references. Like this, for example." The ball grew in size, and from it sprang out two hilts. Saito recognized them as weapons and drew them all the way out of the ball, revealing a broadsword and a sheathed ogre-sized katana, which for humans would be a no-dachi. His runic markings glowed brightly as he held the swords. "Wait a second - don't tell me these weapons are from another novel?"

"You pick up real fast, kid, so okay, I won't tell. Now you've got weapons, here's some wargear to give you an edge against that demon." A black pendant flew from the ball toward Louise, and she caught it. Small firefly-like embers came to life and began to swirl inside the black stone. "Pretty," Louise breathed.

"Actually, my name is Alastor, not Pretty," replied the pendant in a deep voice suitable for a monarch. "I can tell you where the next imminent attack is coming from, but your chance of avoiding it is totally dependent on your skills."

"I used to chase around a hyperactive close combat familiar all over my school's grounds whenever I caught him sniffing after another girl – is that enough skill?" Louise asked Alastor.

"It's a start," the pendant replied. "Hey, boy, give her the no-dachi."

"This? Can't I use it?" Saito asked.

"You could, but it would raise her survival rate if she wields Nietono no Shana, which brings out its user's hidden powers and potential," Alastor explained. "I can sense you have some combat training, so you don't have as much need of it as she does."

The Archon was now hovering at a comfortable level above the ground, meaning human-sized enemies would need to jump to hit it with melee attacks. It was now extending its psionic field, taking out the top corner of a nearby school building with its test.

"And Saito, this is for you," Evang said, and an intricate clockwork contraption shot out of the tiny red ball, and to Louise's horror and Saito's screams of agony, it began to burrow into his chest. "Sorry about that, but it's totally necessary. We can't have you swinging the Blood Drinker and accidentally triggering its critical hit special and channeling all your life energy in one explosive blast. Please bear with the discomfort."

"Shit, old man, it hurts worse than the time when Louise branded me," Saito wheezed, his chest still smoking. "And you called this sword Blood Drinker? Odd name."

"Well, it's the best approximation of its Germanic name that I can come up with. I can't even pronounce the original name properly." Then, "My connection to this dream dimension is fading, kids. Good luck with that monster – I wish I could see you whup its ass." With that the red ball winked out of existence.

"Okay, Louise, time for sword basics. Grip it in two hands, point the tip of the blade toward the opponent, and remember, pointy end goes into the bad guy," Alastor instructed. "Let the sword guide you."

The school's clock struck twelve, and Saito felt a thrilling rush of power course through him. He roared in exultation, and Louise felt a measure of that power, crying out uncontrollably as a pair of blue-white, crackling wings sprouted from her back, electricity dancing up and down the huge blade she held. "Interesting," Alastor rumbled, "I felt a hidden flame in you, but this is what Nietono no Shana brought out. This _shall _be a glorious battle."

"Then let's start it, right now!" Saito shouted, his runes glowing brightly. "CHARGE!"

The Archon sensed the massive energies roiling inside the rushing human, and it thundered, _**"MUST FEED." **_It extended an arm, and energy flowed from its body and arced toward Saito, who wasn't expecting a ranged attack. It would have been the end of him, had it not been for Louise swooping in and bearing both of them away on wings of lightning. The blast burnt a large, deep crater in the ground.

"Higher, Louise!' Saito yelped panicking as the big blue monster changed its attack form from a blast to a flamethrower-like jet.

"I'm not exactly an expert at this, you know!" Louise snapped back.

"Now is not the time to argue between yourselves! Dive, quick!" Alastor ordered, and Louise swooped, narrowly avoiding getting all three of them from getting charred. "This is a very dangerous opponent – its flaming sheath offers it full protection from all angles, and it is likely to burn anyone or anything that gets too close."

"Great. So all we can do is dodge and pray?" Saito asked.

"Saito! Louise! Can you hear me?" asked a tinny, high-pitched voice. It sounded like Evang's.

"Where are you, old man?" both teens asked in unison.

"No time for that! I've one last piece of aid for you – in the main school building, there's a room on the second floor with a sign that proclaims it as the Literature Club room. Head there and turn on the computer!"

"Are you sure, Evang-san?" Saito asked.

Silence.

"Who were you talking to?" Alastor inquired.

"You mean you didn't hear anything?" Louise asked.

"No. All I heard was your side of the conversation, if you were indeed talking to someone."

"Louise, we need to head over to that big building over there," Saito said.

"Do you have a plan?" Louise demanded.

"I think Evang-san had left us a clue on how to get out of this situation. He mentioned a certain room inside the main building – that's the largest one in this area. We should go there," he replied.

"Okay, but can we walk? I never knew flying could be so tiring," she complained.

The Archon seemed to have lost interest in pursuit, and now set about demolishing the school building it was carving out earlier. Recalling what the manga said about destruction in this Enclosed Space, he replied, "Set us down, and I'll carry you the rest of the way if necessary."

"My hero," Louise quipped, except it wasn't really a quip.

True to his word, as soon as they landed, Saito swept Louise up in a lovers' carry and double-timed it to the main building. A quick glance back revealed the Archon to be experimenting with its attacks – it now appeared to be manifesting multiple tentacles of energy and sending them rampaging all over its target. Steeling his resolve, he headed into the building and up the first set of stairs that he saw.

Panting, he put Louise down. "Man, this corridor is long. Do we split up to search for the room?"

"Um, Saito? As embarrassing as this sounds, I can't read your world's writing, and I don't know what a 'computer' is, so I don't think splitting up will help any," Louise said.

"Good point. Let's head this way first, swords out, and stay behind me. We don't know what we could run into here. Oh, and try not to stab me, ok?" Saito joked.

"Oh, I don't know. This sword grants me basic swordsmanship skills, and if I am an unforgiving sort of girl, one who doesn't forget her boyfriend's past indiscretions, that might not be possible."

Saito tried to ignore the fact that she used the B-word. He looked at the room on his left, then the right, and when he saw that neither room was the one they sought, he headed further down the corridor. Realizing that the person she was teasing had left her behind, Louise jogged after him.

"Here it is!" Saito exclaimed. He tried the door and found it locked. Eyeing the height and width of the corridor, he decided that he could try and take a swing with the broadsword. "Stand back, Louise!" he warned as he raised Blood Drinker into position. She saw him ready his weapon and took a few steps back. He swung the sword in an arc from his right-hand side down to his left, and the sword bit into the wood. A second later, the door exploded, sending shrapnel everywhere. Miraculously, neither of the teens were harmed.

"Interesting, the sword seems to utilize its user's life force to destroy anything that it cannot cut effectively. While powerful, the user's life would of course be in danger every time he swings that sword," Alastor observed. "Oh? What's this? He's recovering his life force even as I speak! Impossible! Louise, tell me, is Saito a demigod or a half-breed with some supernatural entity?"

"Are you kidding me? He's just a perverted seventeen-year old!" Louise replied.

"And you love me all the same," Saito retorted.

"Well, yeah." Louise blushed at the admission. She was gratified to see Saito's ears turn red. _Aha! So I'm not the only one who feels warm and tingly whenever this subject comes up._

"In here," Saito ordered, walking into the room. He saw a desktop computer setup on the table nearest to the windows, and hurriedly made his way to it. He sat down and turned on the power. Louise peered over his shoulder.

"It's all black, yet it's glowing. Is it supposed to do that?" she asked.

"Well, Evang-san said to turn it on. I guess now we wait," Saito replied.

"I hope that monster takes its sweet time to get here," Louise prayed.

Saito said nothing – his attention was riveted to the display by the words that appeared.

**\Pan-Samun Can you read this? Please enter Y or N.**

Saito looked at the blinking cursor, then at the keyboard. He hit a letter and the return key.

**\Pan-Samun Good. I've managed to force a line into this pocket dimension. I'll send you an Ultimate Ring of Energy Resistance, and once you receive it, beat that sucker down. Any questions?**

Saito typed, _Why is this happening to us, Pan-Samun?_

**\Pan-Samun This storm of shattered dreams and displaced realities is the legacy of the Dream King's death. Eventually these disruptions will stop, however they will have permanent effects on those affected. **

_So we just happened to be unlucky?_

**\Pan-Samun That is correct. Any other questions?**

"Ask him the best way to kill the monster," Louise urged. Saito nodded and typed in the question.

**\Pan-Samun Saito equips The Ring. Louise flies both of you into the giant's force field, protected by The Ring's barrier. Saito's magical implant which is not an Alchemy Arm will prevent The Ring from draining away Saito's life with extended use. Once inside the barrier you drop down from flight and cut the giant all the way down, and Saito must protect both of you with The Ring again. **_**AFTER SEVEN DAYS, SAITO DIES.**_

Saito stares in horror at the last sentence. Louise saw him go still, and asks, "Saito, what's wrong?"

His face twitches, and he clutches his chest. No words come out of his open mouth, and he points to the words written on the screen.

**\Pan-Samun The last sentence was a joke. **

HEHEHEHEHEHEHE

Saito woke up exhausted, though this was not the pleasant kind of exhausted that resulted from an amorous night with Louise. This was the bone-deep, please-wake-me-after-five-days sort of exhaustion. For her part, Louise was tossing and turning, clearly just barely awake, muttering about hating early morning classes.

"Hey partner, I demand an explanation! What's the meaning of this?" Derflinger shouted at him as soon as it found out that Saito was awake.

Ignoring the noisy sword, Saito whispered to Louise. "Did you sleep well?"

"No. I had this awful dream, and I don't feel like going to classes at all," she replied.

"I know the feeling. Been there, done that, bought the shirt."

"I won't let you ignore me!" Derflinger howled. "What's the meaning of this, propping up these two magical yet non-sentient swords on either side of me?"

That got the two on the bed wide awake. They scrambled to get up, got tangled on the sheets, and ended up on the floor. Saito felt something hard hit his face. "Ouch!"

"My apologies, Saito. I did get your name right, didn't I?" came Alastor's unmistakable voice.

Pan-Samun's words flashed through Saito's mind. "_Eventually these disruptions will stop, however they will have permanent effects on those affected."_

"This talking pendant is real? And that's the sword in my dream! That's um, what was it called?" Louise asked herself.

"Nietono no Shana," Saito replied dully. Louise blanched.

"That's right, but how did you know, Saito? Did we share a dream last night?"

"We did. I have a bad feeling about this, Louise. I don't know how, but I know that our shared dream is just the beginning of something huge."

Louise buried her face into Saito's chest, and he held her tightly. Even the sentient artifacts Derflinger and Alastor went silent at Saito's ominous pronouncement.

**POSTSCRIPT:**

Brownie points to anyone who can guess what series I'm paying homage to by trapping Saito and Louise in a dark, blue giant-infested school!


	7. Heavy Stuff

**Chapter 7 – Heavy Stuff**

Disclaimer: I don't own Zero no Tsukaima or its characters. Evang and Pan-Samun are my "original characters." Characters from other series may make cameo appearances or be woven into the plot, and I do not claim them as mine either.

Author's Minute: I would like to take this minute to address my reviewers regarding Chapter 6, Ripples.

DemonRaily: Our beloved couple find themselves pulled into this _melancholic, enclosed space _due to something big happening elsewhere in the universe, which was big enough to spawn ripples in reality. This allowed the strangest things to happen, and gave me opportunity to do homage to two great series I very much enjoyed. This will be the big background event that will drive other events in the story.

Jeikobu Kyoudai-teiru: Thanks for the good thought!

Otaku Nayami: I'm glad you appreciate it! There's more where that came from!

And now, on to the story…

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_Dear Father and Mother,_

_Things are proceeding down a very strange path here in Tristain Academy of Magic. Albion seems to be biding its time, though here the atmosphere is one of happy relief. The students believe that the war is over – I would love to dispel that notion, but it would serve no purpose. I fear something is on the horizon, and it concerns our little Louise._

_Yes, you read right, father, and you too, mother. I was informed by a new professor here in the academy, who was not a professor at all but an agent of a cabal of wizards call the Order of the Breaking Wall, or some such, named Evang Gerion. It is curious – I believe he had mentioned his Order's name more than once in our conversation with him (Cattleya was with me as witness) but whenever I try to recall the name or commit it to paper, it shifts ever so slightly. It must be some sort of geas._

_I have decided, in order to prevent any sort of harm from coming to poor Louise, who still shows little potential in traditional magic, to insinuate myself in the man's good graces to gather more information. He is an alchemist, a maker of potions, and I am now acting as his assistant. It is because I find my time being taken up watching him, and in return being watched by him I cannot watch over Louise, and I fear Cattleya might need help for the task. (I swear, that girl is too lenient on Louise sometimes, yet I wonder had we reared Louise the same way Cattleya treats her now, would she be not the petulant slip of a girl we know now.)_

_I therefore request that you find a caretaker for Louise, someone who can both use magic and is learned in the martial arts. A female would be preferable, one who does not care even if forced to assume the guise and duties of a maid, so as not to rouse suspicion. While I am sure Principal Osmond's eyes would see through our ruse, he seems to know something which makes me believe that he will accept this arrangement. I leave this matter of selection to you, but please know that time is of the essence._

_I fear we must resign ourselves to the fact that Louise will never find herself married into a noble house, my dear parents. Her dependence, no, her attachment to this strange commoner boy that she has summoned as her familiar has sealed her fate. Affection for the peasant boy aside, there is another reason why Louise will probably never marry – the boy-familiar bears the runic markings of Gandalfr, the legendary familiar of the Founder Brimir! I initially doubted Evang's words, until he showed me a codex of familiar rune names that the Academy Library had. It is true, father, mother. The boy's markings on his hand read 'Gandalfr' and they refused to be erased by mundane or magical means._

_He has also told me another astounding thing – Louise's magical affinity is the legendary element of Void! While it is difficult to swallow, it would certainly explain why Louise's spells fail spectacularly – she resonates with Void so strongly that she cannot use the other elements without interference, leading into disruption of the spell._

_I beseech you to keep this matter to yourselves, Father, Mother. If word of Louise's abilities got around, the Palace will try to press her into service to end the war with Albion, perhaps even try to conquer the White Isle. I trust Evang's sources, and according to him, the Albion flying fortress was destroyed not by a phoenix as the Palace propaganda would like us to believe, but by Louise and her familiar! Somehow, the boy, Saito managed to get the two of them to fly while Louise unleashed a long-forgotten spell of the Void that incinerated the fortress._

_I will try to write to you again, as dawn is breaking and I have duties to attend to. May this letter find you in good health._

_Your Daughter,_

_Eleanor Albertine le Blanc de la Blois de la Vallière_

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Louise and Saito stared dolefully at the two swords flanking Derflinger. His gaze shifted to the pendant who had introduced itself as Alastor, while her gaze lingered on the ring that had shielded them in their shared dream – if was a dream.

"I need to get drunk. Pasted, wasted, blasted drunk," Saito declared. "I want to drink until I pass out, so that when I wake up I'll feel less crappy."

"Can I join you in that bout of drunken revelry?" Louise asked feeling miserable too.

"This is no time to be getting drunk, or even contemplating it," the pendant Alastor boomed. "Your body, Louise, is still trying to adjust to the newly awakened energies in it. You will need to control those energies, or you'll never be better."

"Whoa, damn, another talking piece of equipment. Hey, buddy, don't you know that spot has been taken by me already?" Derflinger challenged Alastor. "Don't you go about cutting into my territory!"

"Oi, settle down and get along you two, we're going to be spending a lot of time together from now on, and I don't want to hear bickering every minute, got it?" Saito demanded.

"Understood," Alastor replied. "Okay," Derflinger reluctantly agreed.

A knock on the door had Saito making sure that he and Louise were decent. "Who is it?" Louise called out.

"It's me, my dear Louise," replied Julio's smooth tones.

"What do you want?" Saito snarled as he opened the door. "I thought you'd have high-tailed it to Romalia by now, since the fighting has stopped."

"Funny you should mention that, I was just about to head home and deliver my report to His Holiness the Pope. By the way, Principal Osmond wishes to see you."

"I see. Well, have a safe trip, Julio," Louise bade him.

"Aren't you going to see me off?" asked the grinning Dragon Knight.

"Sorry, the Principal's looking for us, remember?" Saito pointed out before heading off, pulling Louise along.

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"A nanny? Why would I need a nanny, I'm already sixteen!" Louise railed. "Principal Osmond, did my parents put you up to this? If they did, I apologize."

Saito stared at the other occupant of the room. She was a tall, young woman with short pink hair clad in a maid outfit, which consisted of a purple dress, white apron and matching lace cap. What he found odd was her choice of footwear – combat boots? Her eyes drew Saito's attention – they were the eyes of someone whom he was sure would be The Nanny from Hell or someone lethal with a cosplay fetish. Feeling the scrutiny, the young woman turned to gaze at Saito, who quickly averted his gaze and looked at Louise instead. He felt a creeping sensation under his skin.

"I can hardly deny your family's request, Miss de la Vallière, since they are concerned about your safety and well-being. Officially, she is not to be your 'nanny' as you put it, but a part of the kitchen staff whose priority is your health during emergencies, and observe you to anticipate your needs."

"She's my parents' spy, you mean," grumbled Louise. "I don't want her here."

"That's hardly mature behavior, Louise," Saito chided her. "If you want her gone, why don't you write your parents about it?"

"Humph. I suppose she can hang around until I get a response from my parents."

"That is most gracious if you _de arimasu_," the maid bowed.

Louise sniffed. "What's your name?" she demanded.

"It is Wilhelmina. Wilhelmina Carmel, _de arimasu,_" she replied, bowing again.

"Let me make things clear, Wilhelmina. First, you can forget your orders to keep Saito away from me – I'm a mage, he's my familiar, and by my side he stays. Understood?"

"Yes, _de arimasu_."

"Second, you will have to find your own quarters. Third, I do not want to see you in my chambers."

"Understood, _de arimasu_."

"Finally, would you quit it with that _de arimasu_ stuff? It's starting to get on my nerves. You will speak normally in my presence," Louise ordered imperiously.

"This is my normal mode of speaking, _de arimasu_. If this displeases you, I will make the effort to speak differently, like so. Is this more to your liking?"

Louise rolled her eyes. If her parents had to send her a keeper, why couldn't they send her a normal one? Between an amorous, headstrong, boyfriend-familiar, a legendary talking sword, and a talking pendant tended that sounded like a drill sergeant, it would be nice to have people around her who didn't have too many quirks.

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The two headed back to their room, Louise quietly fuming over the latest development. As soon as they were private, Alastor spoke up.

"You shouldn't leave that sword alone, Louise. Should someone else get it, the results would be unpredictable."

"I can't take such a long thing around with me, Alastor. It will draw comment from my classmates."

"Don't look at me," Saito chipped in, "I'm already weighed down by Derflinger _and _theBlood Drinker. Although it's a good workout, I don't think I can move if you strap a third sword on me."

"You can actually sheathe Nietono no Shana in black fabric. It will weigh nothing, yet you will have an instinctive sense of where the hilt and scabbard is and be able to draw it properly," Alastor declared.

"For real? Wow! What kind of magic is that?" Louise asked.

"I believe it to be popularized by a group of immortal swordsmen called the Highlanders, who were fond of stowing their long swords inside their overcoats and jackets and readying them in the blink of an eye," Alastor replied seriously. "This made them very deadly assassins."

"There certainly is an advantage in being able to carry a weapon undetected," Derflinger piped up.

A knock on the door caught everyone's attention. "Who is it?" Saito asked.

"Your ever-lovable bodyguard, children," came Evang's sardonic reply. "May I come in?"

"You may," Louise replied, and gaped as Evang walked through the door. "What was that?"

"An easy matter for one of my skill," the old mage replied smugly. His expression suddenly went serious when he saw the new swords, Louise's pendant, and Saito's ring. "I didn't give you that ring, did I?"

"Pan-Samun sent it to me through the computer," Saito explained, and narrated how he got the ring.

"I see. He was able to do that much, and just needed someone to tell you two where to get help." Evang rubbed his chin thoughtfully. "We'll have to start training you in the use of that sword, Louise, and you Saito, you need to learn Nitou-ryu."

"What for?" both asked in unison. Evang chuckled.

"You remind me of a pair I saw once, a boy and a girl, who were trained to perform a dance that mirrored each of their moves. They had to do everything together – eat together, go to classes together, go home together, sleep together, the works. Now have you heard of the maxim, 'Use it or lose it?' That happens to refer to these gods-given gifts."

"Where are we going to find time and a place to practice?" Saito wondered.

"I don't want to spend my free time swinging a sword! I'm a mage, a noble!" Louise protested.

"And how effective was your magic in that nightmare world, young lady?" Evang asked sweetly, too sweetly. Louise pouted. "As for finding free time and a training spot, it's going to be taken care of by a singular spell I picked up in my travels called _Fuzetsu. _Here's how it works…"

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Wilhelmina looked up from the vegetables she was trying to peel when she felt the flare of abnormal magic, magic that definitely was not of this world. No one could tell exactly how old she was, as she appeared to be a young woman in her twenties, but those years were spent fighting mages and supernatural entities – something outsiders would rarely have the chance to ask about. She stiffened as the flare resolved into a familiar pattern – a _Fuzetsu_. It was a spell that froze time and space within its boundaries, and from the outside the area of effect could not be discerned unless one had seen it before, or it had been pointed out. Typically it was used to conduct live-fire, no-holds-barred practice sessions between fighter-mages, warrior-monks, monster trainers, 40-meter tall golems and homunculi and the like, as any collateral damage to life and the surroundings could be repaired as long as the spell was up. When the spell was released, the secluded area would be indistinguishable from its mundane surroundings. Everything would be back to normal.

Judging from the direction of the spell flare, plus the sloppy transition which indicated less than ideal familiarity with the use of the spell, Wilhelmina concluded that it could only be her target, this Order wizard that the laVallière family had ordered her to take out should he endanger the life of their youngest daughter. She grimaced – her employers left it to her discretion what constituted endangering the life of the girl, and if she misjudged her circumstances it would be her fault alone, never mind that they hadn't been too detailed in their orders in the first place.

"Oi, new girl, are those vegetables done yet?" came the chief cook's voice. Snapping out of her reverie, she decided that there was plenty of time to rush to the dormitory where her charge was, and focused on the task of relieving the vegetables of their skins. She decided that she enjoyed the sensation.

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"Okay, you did well for the first session! We'll stop here for now," Evang announced, peering at the exhausted teens. Taking pity on them, he channeled some energy into their tired bodies to alleviate their exhaustion a bit. He needed their attention for what he was going to say. "Listen up, you two – Pan-Samun ordered me to explain things and what he wants done, and it's going to be a long story. Make yourselves comfortable." Once they had arranged themselves, Evang began.

"There is a family of seven gods, seven siblings who were said to be older than the gods the ancient civilizations worshipped. They were called the Eternals, and they embodied the primal forces in the universe. The Dream King, whose province extends to reality as well, was one of them. His siblings ruled over the destiny of man, the inevitability of death, destruction both natural and not, the twin emotions of desire and despair, which could lead to delirium – forces even the pantheon gods are subject to, sometimes even under the sway of. But even the mightiest of gods followed certain rules, one of them was that killing one of their blood, whether through action or inaction, meant their death as well. This immutable law was upheld by the Enforcers, fearsome beings who could scar gods with their weapons. Only through the death of the violator would they be appeased.

Now, the Dream King had a son borne from a mortal woman, who in his direst moments called upon his divine sire for aid, which the Dream King ignored, being inhuman and could not be bothered by simple things such as sensitivity. Besides, at that time, his son had been in another god's realm – lightning raids into another god's territory were frowned upon, despite the fact that the Dream King clearly outclassed the lord of the realm where his son was in peril. He chose to honor the law, left his son to his fate, and sealed his own. Later, when the specter of his son rose up and pleaded with the god to help him rest in peace, the Dream King did so. Thus, it is said, the Dream King killed his son twice, which marked him as fair game for the Enforcers. They sought him out and demanded payment in blood, invading the Kingdom of Dreaming and slaughtering many of its inhabitants to draw the lord of the realm out. Donning his helm, he rose from his throne and met the invaders, and was savagely wounded. He saw what needed to be done, and so he called upon his sister, the Lady Death, and when she appeared, implored her to touch him.

Now, the touch of his sister meant death, even to immortals. It was going to be quick and final – there would be no miracle of getting back to his feet once the Enforcers had seen his corpse. He would remain a corpse. Lady Death hesitated – it was her brother after all! Or perhaps because he was her brother, that she granted his wish. Unknown to his siblings, the Dream King had planned for this – in fact, he _needed _to be slain by his sister in order to start the chain of events that would bring about his rebirth. So the Dream King died, the Enforcers were appeased, and the process of his reincarnation began. While the Kingdom of Dreaming opened its doors to mourners from all walks and planes, his soul sought out an infant, one of his sons whose birth he kept a secret. As those at the wake wept, he was starting to adapt to his new vessel. When he was ready, he returned to his kingdom, and all his servants rejoiced in recognition of their liege. Heady with success of such a masterful plan coming to fruition, he did a very foolhardy thing. He erected a pillar of obsidian on a lonely peak, and inscribed what he had done on its surface, down to the minute details of his reincarnation."

Evang took a deep breath, and rubbed the bridge of his nose with his fingertips. "That brings us to our current situation, children. Pan-Samun, a lord of spirits, has deemed the pillar an aberration in the cycle of rebirth and the migration of souls. So have various gods of life and death. However, because of certain godforsaken rules, they are forbidden from acting directly to destroy the pillar and must rely on agents. Deities of the undead, however, have declared the pillar as a bastion of their power, and have pledged to pool their forces to establish the mountain as a foothold in the land of the living. Even mortal wizards trying to seek more power have undertaken quests to reach the damned thing and study it, and perhaps to draw on its power as well."

"Man," Saito breathed out.

"It gets worse, my little pigeons. I daresay that you two will soon be called upon to prevent all hell from breaking loose in this mad dash for power. Albion will most definitely want a piece of this – and we in the Order know that somehow, someone in their upper echelons is aware of this situation and will be mobilizing their forces soon to seek out the pillar and stake their claim. I am pretty sure Halkeginia, Romalia, and Germania would not want this to happen."

"Wait, the pillar is in this word?" Saito asked, confused.

Evang nodded. "Being a creation of one of the Eternals, it exists in all planes in the same location. It forces the planes to accommodate it, and is unharmed by its surroundings. For example, in a world with no land masses, it would be the solitary island."

"I'd do anything to protect Henrietta," Louise vowed. "Tell us what we need to do!"

"Both of you need to train. Louise, you'll need to improve on your control of Void – the sword _Nietono no Shana _will allow you to summon your magic more easily, but control of it is up to you. You will have earned mastery when you are able to use the sword as a wand to focus your spells, at which point your training will change to using both the sword and your magic simultaneously in combat."

"What about me?" Saito inquired. "I already know how to fight."

Evang smirked at the boy, who squirmed. "If what you displayed in our practice earlier is the extent of your skill, you'd better ask Louise to protect you then. You'll need to learn _Nitou-ryu, _your country's ancient art of wielding to swords at once. The reason behind it is simple. Derflinger acts like a runic blade which means he can protect you from magic, and has that interesting ability that allows you to perform a burst attack. However, that burst pales to what the Blood Drinker can do."

"Two swords are better than one, isn't it?" Louise asked.

"Exactly. However, Derflinger and Blood Drinker are both meant to be wielded with the strength of two hands. Your Gandalfr ability allows you two wield them as two swords, one in each hand, but at half the ability you could normally use. You'll need to bulk up, which you can achieve by gradually expending some of your life force."

"Won't that mean I'll go out like a candle, or that I'll shorten my lifespan?" Saito asked, incredulous.

"I don't think I like the sound of that," Louise ventured.

"Don't you worry! Do you remember that clockwork apparatus that fused with Saito? It's an artifact designed to 'restore that which was never lost,' according to the inscriptions on it. When used with spell casters, it allows them to recover their magical stores faster. If used as the core of a magical construct, it will regenerate any damage done to it given enough time. However, it only works as long as there is a bit of energy, a spark of life, or in a construct's case as long as the core module remains intact. It will return to fullness anything that isn't totally gone yet."

"I begin to see your plan," Saito said. "And what of this ring Pan-Samun gave me?"

"May I see it?" Evang asked. Saito nodded, slipped it off his finger and handed it to the wizard. "Hmm. Curious. A cursory glance marks it as a ring of fire resistance, but with expenditure of the user's power, it can grant total immunity to fire and heat or an acceptable level of resistance to other energy attacks. This means, in theory, it can protect an area against all sorts of energy-based attacks, assuming there is sufficient power continuously being fed into it."

"Will it work with that clockwork heart of Saito?" Louise asked.

"I don't have a clockwork heart!" Saito protested.

Evang sighed. He had forgotten how tiring mentoring could be, as opposed to mere teaching. The upkeep of the _Fuzetsu _was taking its toll on him. Noting that the teens had been rested, he released the spell, and informed them, "I'm heading back to my quarters to rest. In case you're wondering, you still have time to go to class. I'll just tell the Principal that my class will have free study time today. See you around." A muttered incantation, a flick of his wrist, and he was gone.

Stretching, Saito glanced at Louise, who was now on her back lying on the bed. "You still want to attend classes?"

"No." She scooted a bit to the side as Saito sat down on the bed and stretched out beside her.

"Do you want to make out?" Saito asked, deciding to see if he would get lucky.

Louise's reply was to drape herself over Saito so that she was lying on top of him. She leaned down, so close that he could catch a whiff of her scent, and whispered, "Not without a bath, you horny, sweaty dog." Grinning, she slid sensuously off of him, causing Saito to groan as his body reacted to the situation.

"I'll get you for this later," he promised, leering at her. She was on her feet, hands on her hips, and looking at him in a decidedly cheeky manner.

"Don't just lie down there, you'll stink the bed up! Get the bath ready!" she ordered.

Oh, he was _so_ going to get her later, Saito vowed.

77777777777777


	8. Taihen Deshou Deshou

**Chapter 8 – Taihen Deshou Deshou**

Disclaimer: I still don't own the copyrighted characters, names and concepts appearing in this work. Feel free to steal my original characters, though, and use them for evil.

**MIDNIGHT, JUST OUTSIDE TRISTAIN ACADEMY OF MAGIC**

Evang wished he could sleep. He had obtained permission from his order to expedite the merging of two similar reality threads, on the stipulation that any mana required for the process would be drawn from his own reserves. It was why he was wishing that his guests appear sooner rather than later, because he would kill for a straight eight hours of shut-eye. His lumpy bed in his borrowed room in the faculty dorm of the academy would feel like heaven to him in his state. Right now though, he had to welcome his guests inside a _Fuzetsu_ – by his calculations, they would make their entrance with a crash.

The assassin known as Wilhelmina Carmel watched the wizard from the shadows cast by the walls. It took a certain level of mastery and skill to be able to move freely inside a _Fuzetsu –_ merely being magical or supernatural did not grant an instant immunity to the spell's time-stopping area of effect. She raised one leg of her skirt up to her thigh and loosened the long, straight dagger she kept hidden. It was named Mageslayer, and had a 99 chance to kill any magic-using humanoid it stabbed. Idly, she considered the fact that it could not kill those who invoke external powers by prayer and ritual – if it did, the dagger might have been called Priestslayer, which would certainly not sit well with the local clergy. She shifted her stance when she saw her target look up and change his demeanor. He seemed… eager.

There _was _someone watching him, Evang concluded, still presenting his back to whoever was stalking him. He squinted at the faraway orange twinkle that was slowly growing larger with each passing second, until it resolved into a beautiful orange fireball bigger than any he could throw. The sight brought a tear to his eye, which he brushed away with a callused hand. Ah, his misspent youth, how much he missed it. He remembered to throw up a shield before the fireball hit the ground, but still he was knocked down flat on his butt with the impact and shockwave.

Never mind that his ass hurt from smacking the ground so hard. His guests were here. As he got to his feet, the fireball shrunk, finally revealing a pair of clasped flame wings. Those wings retracted, and Shana and Yuji emerged from the flames and smoke, unscathed. "Are you two alright?" Evang asked, genuine concern in his voice.

"Who are you?" Shana asked, all suspicious. "And why is there a _Fuzetsu _set up in this area?"

The wizard raised his right hand in a fist, covered it with his left hand, and gave a slight bow. "My apologies. My name is Evan Gerion, member of the Fourth Wall Breakers, and as of now your only source of vital information. Feel free to mistrust me if you wish. As for the _Fuzetsu, _members of my order had anticipated your arrival in this dimension and have deemed it necessary that no one observe how you to arrived here."

_Stupid, _the assassin known as Wilhelmina Carmel thought, _you already have a witness. Though I sincerely doubt anyone would believe me if I told them that the new professor in the Tristain Academy of Magic had summoned two human-looking servants who arrived in a great ball of fire._

"Isn't there a better way to travel between worlds?" Yuji grumbled.

"You've got your memories intact?" Evang asked amazed.

"We didn't hit our head when we landed, you know," Shana pointed out.

"I'm glad to hear that. Young man, I assume you are Sakai Yuji," Evang declared, and at Yuji's nod, he continued, "Which makes the young lady here the Slayer with Flaming Hair and Blazing Eyes, yes?"

"Why do you know our identities?" Shana asked.

"It would be pointless to go around proclaiming to be part of an interplanar society of mages, sages and wizards that can't even know things like the title of the Flame of Heaven's handmaid, or the last known location of a powerful Crimson Realm artifact. Now, may I inquire where Blutsauger and Nietono no Shana are?"

Both teens looked puzzled, then gasped as a quick inventory check failed to yield their weapons.

"Next question: where are your neck accessories?"

Again they searched, and came up empty, as the Cocytus and Azur where nowhere to be found.

"For the kicker: How large is Yuji's flame at the moment?"

Both Yuji and Shana looked down.

"I don't see anything!" Yuji exclaimed.

"Yuji's human again?" Shana wailed.

"What the hell is going on, man?" Yuji cried. "I wanted to be by Shana's side forever, and this really blows a big hole in my plan."

"Yuji! That's so sweet!" Shana declared. "Come here, let me give you a long, tongue-dueling kiss!"

WHAP! WHACK! Evang was spinning a green bamboo switch in his hands.

"Ow!" yelped the pair in unison, clutching their heads, where sizable lumps had already formed. "What was that for?" They glared at the wizard.

"You were creeping me out by acting so out of character, and besides we already have a long-haired _tsundere _making out all the time with an indecisive Everyman here. Are you sure you didn't damage anything vital in the fall?"

Both Yuji and Shana nodded. "We'll retrieve your belongings in the morning," Evang promised. "Right now, we need to rest." He stifled a yawn. "I've a room that you can stay in. There's but a single bed, big enough for one adult, _intimately _cozy for two scrawny teenagers such as yourselves. Personally, I wish you wouldn't drive this old man out of his bed – I haven't had a wink of sleep since I woke up yesterday, had to teach some snobby brats about the proper way to use magic all day long, and cast various spells and power an artifact I loaned from the Order to ensure your safe arrival. On top of that, there's someone who's been watching me all the while as I was waiting for your arrival."

"So you noticed," Shana noted.

"I didn't notice anything," Yuji protested. "Even now, I still can't detect anything."

"That's hardly surprising, considering you're technically human now," Evang said dryly, yawning as he began to repair the scorched and blasted earth.

**MEANWHILE…**

In the Academy's dormitory, Saito was awake. What was more, he was feeling rather randy, and there was a warm, sleeping, _big-breasted_ pink-haired mage sleeping beside him. He did what any horny familiar with an attractive master of the same species would do: he took her into his arms and rolled over so that she was sprawled on top of him and her breasts were pressing against his naked chest. Yup, sleeping in his boxers presented a whole slew of advantages, including but not limited to going through the rest of the day with rumpled clothes. In this case, positioning Louise so resulted in his thighs aligning with hers, and he ran his hands greedily over her negligee-clad back, from her shoulders to her derriere.

Louise murmured against his chest in her sleep, "Touch my behind one more time and I'll make sure you won't touch anything else for a week. You debauched familiar."

"I'm sorry. I'll try to get you in the mood without touching your behind then. Your shoulders are fair game, right? What about your breasts, and your sides, I'm allowed to touch them too, right?"

"Stop it, Saito. I'm exhausted and need my sleep. I swear if you make me explode one more time I'll die. Really, how perverted can you get? Go dunk yourself in a water trough or something."

"Fine, then. I'll be heading down, by your leave," Saito said, getting out of bed and hunting for his clothes. The chill in the air and the cold stone floor helped a bit, but he was still locked and loaded, so to speak, and needed some relief. "I just hope no one's thrown away my makeshift tub." After he had pulled his clothes on, he stared at the wall where the swords were propped and debated whether or not to arm himself before going down. Deciding to carry the swords he was using to train, he headed for the door, and with a last, wistful glance at the sleeping Louise, let himself out.

He was elated to see his tub where he had stashed it, and was surprised when he discovered he wasn't the only one up and about at this hour. "Evang-san? What are you doing up this late? Who're those two with you?"

"Oh, just some dimension hoppers from Japan. Shana, Yuji, meet Hiraga Saito, yet another poor soul trapped in this world," Evang said as he introduced them, stifling a yawn. "They own the war-gear I lent you when you were fighting that Archon, and were drawn here, seeking it. I'd love to say more, but I'm about to collapse-" The old wizard crumpled to the turf without another word.

"Oh, cripes," Saito muttered, pulling the man to his feet. "Hey, crazy Professor, pull yourself together! Man, talk about inconvenient, me having to drag you to your room!"

"You know where he stays?" Yuji asked.

"I sure do," Saito replied.

"We figured we'd lie low until we can have our belongings returned to us, then see about getting off of this world," Shana stated. "We're thinking of hiding out in his room."

"This way, then," Saito said, motioning the two to follow him. "Yuji, right? Can you help me with the professor? I'll take his shoulders, can you handle his feet?" Yuji nodded, and soon they were making their way through the dimly lit corridors of the faculty dormitory.

That was the curious thing, the dormitory hallways and main entrance were not trapped, enchanted, or warded, for the servants' and maids' ease of mind, but the individual rooms were, at least during the night. There have been no incidents of maids turning into frogs, getting shocked, or running screaming down the hallways after opening a professor's door. Saito was sure that Siesta would have told him about it, but upon reflection he realized that he hadn't seen her lately and thus had no chance to talk. He also didn't hit the kitchens for food anymore, as Louise stopped threatening him about cutting his food if he refused to obey. "No, she'd deny me access to another basic need, one that can't be forgotten now that I've had a taste of it – _her_."

"What was that, Saito?" Yuji asked.

"Ah, nothing, I was just mumbling to myself. Hold up, we're here." They stopped before a door Saito indicated. "Evang-san, wake up. I don't want to find out firsthand what your nighttime defenses look like. Oi! Evang-san!"

The wizard took his sweet time waking up. "Huh? Are we being invaded?" he ground out, still groggy.

"Yes, and we have to take cover in your room," Saito replied sarcastically. "Can you stand?"

"I've been standing long before you were even conceived, boy. Let go." Yuji and Saito did so, and Evang pushed the door open. "Come in, Shana, Yuji. Saito, thank you for the assistance. What were you doing up at this hour, anyway?"

"Ah, I decided I needed a walk or something so I could fall asleep, yeah, that's it."

"I am in awe of your endurance and stamina, Gandalfr. Mad passionate lovemaking with your mistress, and you're still not sleepy?" Evang raised his eyebrows, walking into his room, motioning for them to enter as well. He bustled around, hunting up a folding bed crafted from bamboo, a plaid quilt, and a couple of pillows.

"I- How did- I'm not," Saito stammered, guilty as charged. _How did this old goat know?_

As if in answer to his unspoken question, Evang spoke, "It was a shot in the dark. I knew what you desired, and when it appeared within your reach, I bet on the fact that you were man enough to act on your feelings for Louise and take it. It looks like I win this round." He began to set the bed up for two people.

"Who's Louise?" Yuji asked Saito. Shana, who was observing the dimly lit chamber with a bored expression, perked up when she heard Yuji's question.

"Louise is my master," Saito replied. "Now, before you start thinking of slavery and all that, I'd like to put in my defense that it was an accident – Louise was supposed to cast a spell that summoned a powerful, loyal beast that would protect her or otherwise help her while she went about casting spells like a mage is supposed to."

"Instead, she got a potentially powerful, easily distracted, horny and perverted familiar who's attracted to big breasts," Evang deadpanned, finishing the explanation.

"Please ignore old Evang-san, he's not totally himself yet after waking from that faint," Saito began, and suddenly he yelped as a throwing hammer connected with his head, courtesy of Evang. "Ouch! Sorry! Please forgive me!"

"Don't go sassing me about my age, boy. Now, go get yourself back into your master's bed. I've been up for 48 hours, not counting that little fadeout earlier. Yuji, Shana, you two will have to share the folding bed. Personally I find the weather here does not require a blanket, but you can curl up under quilt if you feel chilly. Please close the door behind you, Saito, and don't worry about the hammer. Good night, kids."

Saito left the wizards room and walked back to the room he shared with Louise. He had forgotten all about bathing – the idea of pouring cold water over his head suddenly seemed unappealing. He winced occasionally, and gingerly put a finger on the spot where Evang had hit him with the hammer. _I hope this doesn't leave a lump. By the way, wherever did the old man pull that hammer from? I'd have felt its weight earlier when I dragged his sorry behind back to his room. _He soon found himself at his destination and let himself in. The other occupant of the room did not stir, not even when he slipped in beside her under the sheets. He wrapped her arms around her, pulled her close, and drifted off to sleep.

Even when asleep, an old mage's mind still functions at close to full capacity. That is, the parts of his mind that are untapped during the day engage during nighttime, the individual sections adding up to more than 100 ability. This meant that when he was asleep, he had a different set of spells readied. It was due to this that the sleeping Evang was able to cast a dream net, and converse with his audience while his body rested. "Before you ask, Pan-Samun, yeah, I had a terrible two days."

"I'm not asking, Wizard, I know you had a terrible two days. I ordered you to, remember? So, to what do I owe this little chat session?"

"I'd like to introduce you to two other characters who can help us move our agenda along. They come from a totally non-magical place – Misaki City, Japan."

Pan-Samun snorted. "It may not be called magic, but they sure pull off impossibly fantastic feats using spirit power that would put rote spells to shame."

"I'm inviting the party over for this session. Please put on your most impressive form for our guests."

"Okay. So if appear as a Bloodthirster, that'd be ok? How about a Nightbringer costume?"

"God of Magic and Spirits, remember! Not Death and Destruction! Jeez."

"Chill, Wizard. I was just messing with you. I'll even bring up my celestial Greek regalia for you. You know, the one that looks like you can see the whole Milky Way through it, and the view doesn't change even if I move around."

"It sounds impressive, my lord. Ah, let me bring the children over."

"Excellent."

"Shana?"

"Yuji? What are you doing awake?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing."

The two of them stared at each other and blinked. "If you're asleep," Yuji began.

"And you're asleep too," Shana brought up.

"Then this means--"

"It's a shared dream, guys. I know someone who might be capable of this, but this is the first experience I've had with one."

The two looked at up at the newcomer's voice. "Saito-san?" Indeed, it was Saito, dressed in his jacket and jeans, with a pink-haired girl dressed in a white uniform blouse and black miniskirt hanging onto his arm.

"The crazy professor's behind this?" the pink-haired girl asked.

"Now, now, don't refer to me with that nickname. That's an appellation I'd reserve for a certain insane Guze no Tomogara inventor."

The four teenagers looked around, trying to locate the source of that familiar, annoying voice. "What's this all about, Evang-san?" Saito asked. "And why is Louise here as well?"

"She's here because matters concern her as well. Besides, this way we can make a 'separated at birth' joke, and people would laugh foe all the wrong reasons." After saying so, Evang did the dramatic materialize-from-light schtick. "Welcome to my little explanation session. We will have a special guest joining us – my patron deity, Pan-Samun."

At the mention of the name, three-headed canine monstrosity with bat wings and a spiked tail made its grand entrance, the draft from its wings stirring the girls' skirts and the boys' hair as it landed beside Evang. It gave a trio of leisurely yawns, all three heads gaping wide, before settling down on its belly and folding its wings. "Greetings," it growled softly from the central head. "Do not be afraid."

"Ask your questions, and listen to the answers," the right head said.

"Hear the words, and decide for yourselves if they are truth," the left head said.

"Okay kids, time for Twenty Questions," Evang enthused. "So! Who wants to go first?"

"I want to know exactly what's going on," Shana declared. "But first I want my sword and Alastor's Cocytus back!"

"Louise has both of them," Evang replied, gesturing to the pink-haired girl.

"You stole these from _her _and had me use them?" Louise sputtered.

"Hey, they saved your hides when you were trapped in that other dimension, didn't they?" Evang defended himself.

"Is that why I don't have the Reiji Maigo in me anymore?" Yuji demanded. "Also, where are Azur and Blutsauger?"

"They're with Saito. All of them," replied the mage.

"Saito, I don't care about either the ring Azur or the sword Blutsauger as much as I do about the Reiji Maigo. Can I please have it back? Without it I might just fade away unexpectedly," Yuji asked of the other young man.

"If the procedure to take it out hurts as much as the way it was implanted in me then you'll have to knock me out then take it out. I sure as hell am not staying awake for it," Saito vowed.

"So you're willing to part with the Reiji Maigo, just don't want the pain involved, eh? That can be arranged. Tomorrow, gods willing, the transfer will be finished," Evang declared. "Does anyone else here want a change in their bodies?"

"Can you make my familiar less perverted and lustful?" Louise asked hopefully.

"Not without greatly reducing his fighting ability," Pan-Samun's central head replied. "The Gandalfr soul is concentrated manliness, if you can call it such a thing," the left head elaborated. "This means that his degree of stubbornness, his sense of responsibility, and his lustful proclivities are at heightened levels – his true self is a watered-down version of what he is now," concluded the right head. All three heads nodded.

"How do you know all this?" Saito asked.

"I'm a deity, Hiraga Saito. I am lord over a vast domain, and that includes Spirits, Spirit Magic, Magical Beasts, and Magical or Magic-Using People, as well as part of an association that oversee the natural process of death and rebirth. As such, sometimes we work in league with other agencies, like the Fourth Wall Breakers, whom Evang is a part of, and such partnerships prove very useful," Pan-Samun replied. "There's actually a reason why we – that is, the Wall Breakers and I – have been gathering a select group of souls. By my machinations, and his actions, you four have been brought together."

"I get the feeling that a long explanation is coming up," Yuji whispered to Shana.

"Shh!" Shana hissed, seeming to take this all in stride. Then again, Yuji thought, she works for a gigantic demon-king-god named Alastor. Pan-Samun's three-headed winged form probably is tame for her.

"Tell me, children," Evang spoke, "Do you know of the Holy Grail, and the wars fought over it?"

"That's the Cup of Life, isn't it?" Saito asked. Louise looked at him as if he was spouting gibberish. "They say if you drink the water from it, it will grant you eternal life."

"I thought it was supposed to grant the bearer any wish, after which it will disappear, only to be found and fought over again," Yuji put forth. Shana looked surprised, then nodded when Yuji looked to her for confirmation.

"Generally speaking, it performs both functions. It is good to see most of you know of it – it makes explaining my reasons and the events going on a whole lot easier," Pan-Samun heaved a sigh of relief. "A war is about to break out soon, children, and I need your help."

"You mean we're going to participate in a Holy Grail War?" Saito and Yuji exclaimed, horrified at the prospect. Both being Japanese, to them it seemed that they were trapped in the unfolding events of a certain highly popular visual novel, where mages summoned familiars and servants to fight for them. Neither of them wanted to be involved in a war. War meant death, and Yuji didn't want to die. That went double for Saito, who had already experienced dying once in a war.

The two girls just looked at the boys with stares that seemed to say, "You two are idiots."

"Relax, boys, this isn't going to be –BLEEP- Stay / Night, it's not even close. It's actually bigger. To use the Fate –BLEEP BEEP- metaphor, it's like the Holy Grail War on an interdimensional, or should I say cross-dimensional, scale. Those universes you thought only existed in games, novels, and dreams, well guess what, they're real, or to be precise, they were made real thanks to a certain cosmic Chernobyl event that up to now our Order has been trying to clean up after," Evang summarized.

"It involves a certain edifice constructed by a conceited god, a tower which gathers souls and spirits to it, messing up the concepts of afterlife and reincarnation at the same time. Whoever can take and hold the tower will have immense power – levels of power that would rival mine," Pan-Samun spoke. "You know how necromancers can force the souls of the dead to inhabit a corpse for their own purposes? With this tower, you won't need corpses for your souls – the tower will create vessels for them using dreamstuff and reality dust. Should the bodies be destroyed the souls will find their way back to the tower, ready to be brought back. This tower grants dominion over death – it is anathema to my duties."

"So now you see why everybody wants it – Albion, secret zealots in Tristain and Germania, power-hungry Kings of the Crimson Realm, and other factions that have yet to make their appearance or their presence felt. Some sides will want to use it for nefarious purposes, and will make no qualms about declaring such intentions to cow their rivals. Others will declare that they intend to take the tower in the name of Goodness, for Justice, or for Love and Peace. The stage is set for a war, and the players are about to draw the curtains for the first act. We'll not be participating in this war, though – we'll be crashing the opening night and bringing the house down on their heads," Evang said quietly, his tone at odds with his words.

"I fail to see how this helps us in our quest to return home," Shana retorted.

"What Evang has failed to mention is that the tower exists not just on this world, but in others as well. It is not necessarily in the same kind of place in the different worlds. Here in this world it is in the middle of a mountain range. In another, it is a research station on an asteroid. Still in another it appears like a dark lighthouse, luring ships and sailors to their doom. In a certain world, it rises from the center of Misaki City, casting its shadow on the baffled and horrified citizens. The tower itself is a collection of doorways to other worlds – coupled with the ability to create its own army, you can see how it threatens all of existence. In case you need me to spell it out, you can travel back to Misaki City using the tower," Pan-Samun explained.

"But there are other factions vying for the tower – you're saying we have to hold it against them?" Yuji asked. "You're talking about armies here!"

"Albion has a standing force ready to mobilize at any time," Louise added. "There are just four of us! Six, if you two intend to fight as well!"

"Isn't Pan-Samun a god? Why can't you just strike down the tower by yourself?" Shana asked.

The left and right heads bared their teeth and growled low at the loli. The central one replied, "What makes you think I haven't tried? It took me only a few attacks to realize my direct attacks were worthless, so I did a probe. It revealed something that made me relieved that I was not able to damage the structure – if a god destroys the tower that god will be erased from the fabric of existence. Thus I must rely on mortal means, such as you gathered here before me."

"I know we're good, but the problem is we're too few. We'd eventually be pulled down by sheer weight of numbers," Saito observed.

"We are aware of the situation, Gandalfr. To remedy that, we'll be procuring help from other series that don't have their own categories yet in my favorite fan-fiction site and throwing them into this mix, messing up some of their plot threads along the way," Evang said in true Fourth Wall Breaker fashion.

"WHAT?" exclaimed the four teens, who didn't quite catch his words beyond 'procuring help.' Thus is the power of the Fourth Wall Breakers.

"I said, we'll be procuring help by watching the reality-warp rifts opening around the tower and pleading our cause with groups and people who will be sympathetic to us. I have… colleagues in other worlds, who will be guiding events in their jurisdictions to support the Big Plan," Evang said.

"And what is this Big Plan?" Yuji asked.

Pan-Samun answered, shifting form into that of a leather-armored minotaur shaman loaded with tattoos and ritual marks. "Once we claim the tower under our control, we send the other armies home, we return those who wish to go home to their proper places, and to prevent more wars like this from happening again, destroy the tower utterly, down to the last shard. That is the Big Plan."

"I shall end our shared dream now, children. Be ready for tomorrow, when we put our plans into action."

_**A/N: Finally finished the chapter! Anyway, review please! Your input will guide the way the story unfolds! **_


	9. Breakfast Disaster

**Chapter 9 – Breakfast Disaster**

Disclaimer – I still don't own ZnT or SnS. Evang and Pan-Samun are original characters. Copyrighted characters and names appearing in this work are property of their respective owners.

_**Evang's Laboratory**_

"I've done some heavy mind-warping shenanigans with Pan-Samun's help. People won't notice us until we speak to them first, or do something spectacular to draw attention. This will allow us to proceed with our tasks without drawing questions or attention from the locals," Evang boasted as he gathered the teens the next morning. "This includes transferring the Reiji Maigo back into its proper receptacle."

Yuji heaved a grateful sigh. "Finally."

"Saito, you have some level of skill now in nitou-ryu, and I trust you will not let that skill rust away despite returning Blutsauger, the Blood Drinker, to Yuji. Say goodbye to Azur as well," Evang said.

"Okay, how are we going to transfer this Reiji Maigo?" Saito asked after he had handed Azur and Blutsauger to Yuji, who staggered under the weight of the sword. "Is it really that heavy?"

"I'm a normal human again, with my Power of Existence untapped," Yuji gasped. Shana took pity on him and took the Hougu, stowing it in her cloak. Around her neck, the Cocytus gleamed, the embers inside it swirling around again. 

Louise had approached her earlier, apologized for unknowingly taking some of her things and using them, and returned the sword and necklace to her. After that, they had a little chat, one of those girly chats that always end up with the participants being best friends afterwards. While Evang was placing a containment field around Yuji and Saito to begin the operation, the young ladies found that some of their circumstances were similar.

"By a fighting chance, you meant your _chest_?" Shana asked, puzzled.

Louise nodded. "See, Saito is a simple beast. He's attracted to fair faces and big breasts. I meet the face requirement, but didn't meet the breast requirement until recently." She blushed, remembering what had happened next after she had acquired her 'assets.' "Saito, who I take is an expert, has told me that I now am at par with Princess Henrietta, my best friend. I'm saddened whenever I think that the Princess might be developing some affection for my familiar, though."

"I don't have that many friends, but I have a lot of rivals for Yuji's attention and time," Shana confided.

"It's annoying, isn't it?" Louise knew exactly what Shana meant.

"Annoying is too soft a word. To put it bluntly, it's hell." The two girls looked at each other and nodded in understanding. They watched the containment field and the events happening inside. Saito and Yuji were both floating within the blue bubble, and wispy trails of energy were streaming back and forth between the two. Evang, who was perched on top of the containment field observing the process, decided he'd seen enough and hopped down. He swept one of the tables clear of the junk it held and produced an alcohol lamp, which he put in the center of the table. It was followed by a tripod, which he positioned over the unlit lamp, and finally placed a short-handled pan on top of the tripod.

"What's happening?" the girls asked in unison, causing the old mage to grin, for he couldn't tell their voices apart. Ah, the travails of old age, even if he didn't look a couple of hundred and fifty years old.

"Breakfast, that's what's happening. Are you fine with scrambled eggs and some iron rations? I haven't had a chance to visit the market yet, and only have my well-preserved, long-lasting traveler's food to offer."

"I'm ok as long as it's edible," Shana assured him.

"Never mind that! We meant what's happening to Saito and Yuji?" Louise demanded. She caught sight of the eggs, garlic, and onions that appeared on the table as if by magic, and her stomach growled in a very unladylike fashion. She turned red.

"Ah, you should have said so in the first place! Right now, I've a spell that creates a tunnel between Yuji and Saito for the Reiji Maigo to travel through. I must say, that is a very unusual Noble Phantasm – it seems something is inside of it, but being heavily suppressed. It should be done by the time we finish making breakfast, and we could sit down and eat with them. Isn't it great?"

"You can cook?" Shana asked. The only great cooks that she knew of firsthand was Chigusa Sakai, Yuji's mother. What could a man do?

"It's not gourmet, but how hard can it be to make eggs and whatnot with help from two cute girls?"

"I've actually never helped in the kitchen before," Louise said shyly.

"Then you're in for a treat! Watch the wonders of the kitchen unfold before your eyes – at least, my rendition of it." So saying, Evang snapped his fingers and cooking oil coated the insides of the pan. Using sleight of hand to seemingly pull an egg out of nowhere, he held it over a bowl and bade Louise to observe. "Take the egg in one hand, tap it against the side of the bowl to create a breach, apply pressure and voila! One egg in the bowl. Would you like to give it a try, girls?"

The two nodded, and Evang handed a bowl and an egg to each girl. "Now, the trick is to make a small crack in the armor, not destroy the shell in one blow," Evang instructed. "Go!"

Louise, utilizing a mix of eagerness and unfamiliarity, managed to do it properly on the first try. Shana looked at the egg, then the bowl, gauging material strength and her own force. With a decisive set of her eyebrows, she tapped the egg against the bowl – and watched as the contents spilled onto the table. "Oh!"

"That's alright, we've got plenty of eggs to practice on. Here, try it again," Evang said, handing her another one. He asked Louise, "Would you show me that again that feat of yours, Louise, or was it beginner's luck?"

"It was not all luck! I'll show you, Professor!" the female mage said.

"Professor?" Shana asked, surprised, which caused her to hit the egg against the bowl and land the yolk and white squarely in the middle. "Whoa! I did it!"

Louise scored her second successful egg-break, gloating, "See, Professor? It wasn't all luck!"

"Indeed. You might have a chance of - nah, I shouldn't say it."

"A chance at what, Professor?"

"He's an actual professor?" Shana asked again, eggs momentarily forgotten.

"Well, I do travel a lot, teaching any who are willing to learn and work for knowledge. Cooking, spellcraft, how to have fun – it all depends on where I am and who my students are going to be." He cracked another egg into his bowl. "Now, pour the contents of your bowls into this one, and decide what you'd like to do next: beat the eggs, that is, to mix them up; or slice up and prepare the garlic and onions.

Alastor spoke up, "Shana knows her way around a sword, would those skills apply to this sort of knifework?"

"Ah, Tenjou no Gouka. I'm glad to see you're back in communication. I'm letting the girls choose for themselves, since this is all new territory for them."

Meanwhile, inside the bubble, Saito and Yuji were engaged in conversation as well.

"So to have you where he wanted you, he first put you in a situation where you were bound to get injured, offered to give you a potion to fix you up, and slipped some agent into the medicine that made you lose your inhibitions and gave Louise breasts?" Yuji clarified.

"Yeah. So if I were you, I'd be careful not to get hurt, or else you might find yourself going at it with your Shana who'll be the instant owner of a double D-cup rack," Saito warned him.

"That will actually be dangerous – Shana still beats the stuffing out of me when we spar. I don't want to be me if I started to do something perverted to her." 

"You know how to use a sword? For real, and not because of some magical gimmick?"

"Well, I've been taking lessons from Shana, mostly for footwork and how to defend myself with a long, hand-held weapon. And prior to being thrown here, I've been trying to be a mage as well. As for magical gimmicks, there's Reiji Maigo, which used to restore my Power of Existence every midnight until some bad shit happened. Now I've enough power reserves to rival a Crimson Realm denizen, and I regenerate it over time even if it isn't midnight."

"All that power and no way to use it, huh?"

"Well, I can reinforce my body to take less damage. I fell off the roof of my house and didn't feel a thing."

"That is wicked! I wish my ability as a Gandalfr included that feat – I'm pretty sure it would have prevented me from dying."

"You've died before?"

"Uh-huh. I may be skilled in the use of all weapons past, present, and future, but it doesn't make me invulnerable. You try to take on thousands of soldiers, beasts, arrows, and mages at the same time, by your lonesome."

"I'm not that heroic and noble. Even if I had the ability to create any weapon and fought side by side with a cute sword-wielding girl, I'm still not going to take those odds. So why did you do it?"

"I did it because I didn't want Louise, no, everyone I cared for to be dragged into the slaughter."

"Better you than them, is that it? Have you considered their feelings and opinions on the matter?"

"Even if I did, that still wouldn't have changed my resolve then to engage the Albion vanguard so that everybody else could retreat to the capital."

Silence.

"How long do you think we'll be stuck here?" Saito asked.

"I don't know. Don't you find it odd that we can't see anything outside this bubble?" Yuji asked in return.

"True." Saito had a horrid thought. "What if Evang is doing something perverted to my Louise, and I'm not aware of it because of this bubble!"

"_Your _Louise?" Yuji noted with a grin. "Oooh!"

"Yeah, like the way Shana's _your _Shana," Saito retorted.

"Come off it, man. We haven't even kissed yet!"

"Whatever, so hurry up and take this Reiji Maigo thing out of me!"

Outside the bubble, the three chef wannabes were observing the events inside intently. "Any moment now," Evang murmured.

They saw it then – a fist-sized construct of clockwork and glass, floating slowly in the tunnel connecting the two boys. It was lazily making its way from Saito to Yuji.

"At the rate it's going, we'll finish before lunchtime," Louise sighed.

"Do you have anything to teach us to pass the time?" Shana asked.

"Well, now that you mention it, there is." Evang smiled, a smile that some people might call evil. Before he could launch on this tangent, though, a flash of light came from inside the containment bubble and blew it apart, the pieces dissolving into blue glitterdust a second later. "It will have to wait, though, as the boys seem to want breakfast and finished ahead of schedule."

Breakfast was a light-hearted affair. At least, it started out that way. When Yuji heard that Shana helped with the breakfast, he was suddenly less enthusiastic about eating. "You're supposed to be an omniscient mage, right?" he addressed Evang. At the man's nod, he continued, "How many Flame Hazes do you know that are passable cooks? Is Shana one of them?"

Feeling rather insulted, Shana acted without thought and tossed whatever she was holding at Yuji's head. Unfortunately, it was a knife, an eating knife to be sure, and a sharp one at that – not the dull eating knives of the twenty-first century. Her rage gave the projectile deadly accuracy. In response to the attack, a gash of light appeared in Yuji's chest and a silver gauntlet came out, flicking an arc of fire that disintegrated the knife, set Shana ablaze with pewter flame, and sent the others at the table scrambling for cover.

"Shana!" Yuji cried out. To his horror, the silver gauntlet stretched out, revealing the metal-covered arm it was attached to and grasping at the table as though it was attempting to find an anchor so that it could pull itself out of Yuji.

_**Academy Kitchens**_

The assassin known as Wilhelmina Carmel felt a familiar, hated signature of magic coming from her target's quarters and the psychic scream of pain rippling through the aether. The scream was undoubtedly female, from a young girl, and its point of origin led her to only one conclusion. It was time to carry out her contract.

After informing Marteau, the head cook, that she was needed by Miss de la Valliere and gaining his permission to go, she dashed out, eating a lout of ground by her leaps. If other people saw her, she paid them no heed. What mattered now was not stealth, but speed. 

She was unfamiliar with his quarters, but her ability to sense magic led her to the door she was seeking. Donning her death mask, which would allow her to see spell patterns clearly and react accordingly, she drew Mageslayer and burst through the door, only to be greeted by a bizarre sight.

Her charge was in one corner of the room, being protected by the commoner familiar and his sword. Louise de la Valliere was safe, so she focused her attention on the other occupants, who were part of a macabre tableau. Her target was struggling with a giant silver arm emerging from a boy's chest, while a dark-haired girl was lying on the floor, her appearance suggesting that she had been hit by a powerful fire-type attack. The boy in the center of the piece had a look of horror and pain on his face, and had both hands on the gauntlet growing out of him, as if trying to pull it back in.

"Wilhelmina!" Louise cried, at first not recognizing the newcomer thanks to the mask, but her height, hair color and maid uniform gave her away. "Why are you here?"

"I sensed trouble, and my first instinct told me it involved you and the Professor. It looks like I was right, de arimasu."

"_Priority shifting" _said a cold, emotionless voice. It seemed to come from her mask.

"_Mugen no Kantai!" _Alastor said, recognizing the other entity. "How can this be, that you are here as well, Tiamat?"

"_Explanations later," _came the cold reply.

"Tell me, assassin, do you know if your dagger can hurt, if not harm, demi-gods?" Evang ground out, trying to push against the Silver with streams of raw energy, which the Silver was pushing back against as well.

"Assassin?" Louise and Saito exclaimed.

"It hurts! Someone do something quick, he's getting really, really agitated!" cried the boy.

Wilhelmina decided to deviate from her programming and hurled the dagger at the giant silver arm. The blade bounced against the metal, but the gauntlet flinched, and was pushed back a few inches by Evang's beams. "It looks like it works, alright. That means you should be able to help us out, Saito."

"Are you OK with this, Derflinger?"

"You want us to cut through magical armor? Let's go then!"

"This is no mere magical armor, Derflinger, it's the skin of a demi-god," Evang warned the sword.

"Steel, adamantite, men, gods, it doesn't matter! There is nothing me and my partner cannot cleave!" Derflinger proclaimed. "Let's go!"

"Raaaaghhh!" Saito roared, springing forward and bringing Derflinger down on the silver gauntlet. The screech of metal on metal was joined by Yuji's scream of pain.

"Please bear it this last time, Yuji," Evang pleaded, cutting of one stream to fashion an ornate sword with it. "Deathrender!" he cried, activating the sword and stabbing it into the palm of the huge silver hand. Yuji howled, the gauntlet closed into a fist and crushed the sword Evang summoned before withdrawing back into Yuji, who passed out from the ordeal.

"Do you two Crimson Lords mind if you have your reunion while I tend to these two children?" Evang asked, looking every day of his 250 years. Turning to Louise and Saito, he said, "Well, sorry about breakfast, I'll make it up to you as soon as I fix these two kids up."

"What was that thing?" Louise asked, shaken. She had not taken part in the skirmish, for fear of her magic going out of control and injuring Yuji, yet she was still unnerved by Yuji's screams.

"You might want to ask Alastor and Tiamat about that, if Wilhelmina doesn't decide to go after me while I tend to the injured."

"Tiamat?"

"She's the Crimson Lord masquerading as Wilhelmina's battle-mask."

"_Inference of chosen form incorrect."_

He sighed. "I mean no disrespect, but I really have to tend to the Flame Haze and the Mystes. Miss Assassin, you're free to stay or go, but if you stay, be prepared to answer questions."

_[Insert eyecatch here. Yeah, I know it's the lazy way out. –Jemu_

Wilhelmina stayed for a bit and answered Louise's and Saito's questions, then left before either Shana or Yuji could come to. "These two know of another person who looks exactly like you, dresses exactly like you, and also serves _Mugen no Kantai _Tiamat," Evang said to this universe's Wilhelmina, nodding to the sleeping pair. "While I believe explanations are necessary, it appears you don't have a plausible one yet. I've my own theories on why you're here, but I think they'd prefer words coming from your mouth. Would you like to take some time alone to formulate your cover story?"

"I would appreciate that, de arimasu." _"Prudent course of action." _With a bow to the still dazed Louise and Saito, she silently made her way out of the room.

"Will you be needing us around, Evang-san?" Saito asked. "I'd like to take Louise to her room, she's shaken and all that."

"Go, go on, children. We'll be fine here, the Silver seems to be in 'lurker mode' again. Carmel-san wouldn't try to kill me, now that I've explained I mean no harm. Ah, I know! This would be a good time to involve your eldest sister in the practical aspects of my work! Could you send her here, on your way back to your room?"

"I'm not sure I can trust you alone with Eleonor-onee-sama," Louise said in an audible whisper. "You might do something delicious- I mean perverted to her."

"Aw, Louise, let what will happen, happen! Besides, if Evang-san wanted to do something to your eldest sister, I think she'd welcome it," Saito countered, recalling the time he snuck into Eleonor's to look at her chest and cleavage – or the lack of it.

"How can you say such a thing! Onee-sama is the very image of a noblewoman!" WHACK! That was the sound of Louise's palm connecting with Saito's forehead.

"Well, you seem to have recovered your spirit, in that case, I'm REALLY looking forward to bringing you back to our room." Without any warning, Saito swept Louise up onto his shoulder and carried her like a sack of grain to their room.

"Ah, young love. To be youthful and carefree again! Alas, one cannot take back what time has stolen away, woe am I."

Once he had seen the Void Mage and her familiar off, the mage went into apothecary mode and began to lay out ingredients on the long table that not so long ago served as a kitchen counter and dining table. He cast a worried glance at the Mystes boy and at the Flame Haze girl. Both were breathing easily, which was good, but their eyes were still closed, which was not so good. He was interrupted by a knock on the door. "Come in."

Eleonor let herself in, her eagerness carefully hidden. For weeks now, she had signed on as his assistant, but had done nothing except listen to lectures about alchemy and medicinal properties of various materials, some of which she already knew. All the lectures had been done in a corner of the Academy Library which was warded and shielded every session – this was her first time that she was summoned to his laboratory. She wondered what this meant.

"Ah, Miss de la Valliere, excellent timing. You've been an excellent student, and now it's time to put your knowledge to use. I've laid out some ingredients and reagents on the table, as well as a recipe that details what needs to be done to how much so what to mix something up. Your task is to create the potion indicated within half an hour. Any questions, my lady?"

"What kind of potion is it?" Eleonor asked.

"It's a restorative. It doesn't close wounds or mend bones immediately – that's more magic than can be infused in a simple potion – but the potion does increase your natural rate of healing and regeneration. When taken by a healthy, uninjured individual, it works like a tonic, enhancing the person's capabilities by a random amount."

"I see. Would this be the same potion you gave my sister and her _familiar_?"

"It is," Evang replied. "Now, do you have any other questions? You may begin, and I expect a sufficient quantity of the potion for two persons. You must fill this flask," he lifted the one he was referring to, "Or at least fill more than half of it for me to consider your efforts successful."

"What will you be doing in the meantime?" Eleonor asked.

"I will be tending two children who are in need of that medicine I asked you to prepare. I believe that magical healing only goes so far, and that the rest must be done by the patient. It's why I think the environs, the food, and the caretakers themselves must be conducive to recuperation. Now, begin."

After taking a peek at Eleonor busily working over the potion recipe, Evang decided to make a quick jaunt and see how his recruitment was going. "Space Station SpaceBar," he uttered.

In a flash, he found himself back in his Haven, one that he shared with his 'brother.' "Have we gotten any good ones yet?" he asked without preamble.

The person he had spoken turned around, and Evang smiled at the face he saw in the mirror every morning when he washed his face. "Actually, I'm considering recruiting individuals with Glam Sight for this effort. You are familiar with the phenomenon, right?" Jemu replied, returning his twin's smile.

"That's no phenomenon – that's what I call a cheat code! What mages study for years on end to achieve, Glam Sight grants by virtue of being attached to you!"

"True enough – however, cheats don't come with a price. This one does. That aside, do you agree that Glam Sight will be useful?"

"I concede that being able to see the flows of magic in spells and in magical creatures is going to be an advantage in this war. Assuming the user can maintain his sanity while out there, fighting – all this magical radiation can't be good for an organic means of detecting magic."

"Agreed. Also, we'll need fighters who can dish out quasi-magical attacks, either naturally or aided by devices. The closer our strike force gets to the tower, the more unreliable their magic becomes."

"You mean, wielders of magical weaponry?" Evang asked. At Jemu's nod, Evang continued to rattle of possible recruits. "What about people who can focus chi? Or children who can communicate with cute, lovable critters armed with bio-weaponry like lightning, firebreathing, pressurized water blasts, and the like? Or pilots that can pull off fighting game maneuvers and special moves in and out of their personal mecha?"

"Before you go any further," Jemu interrupted, "I'd like for you to follow me and introduce yourself to our guests sitting at the bar, who are currently being entertained by BOS."

"You have got to be kidding me – BOS, playing bartender?" BOS was the space station's AI, and was pretty much in charge of everything the brothers didn't want to micro-manage at the moment.

"You'll see." They teleported to the bar, and their guests swung around on their barstools to face them. This, despite their silent teleport, spoke volumes about the pair.

"Hey, welcome back, my lords! Elder God Kurou, Elder God Al-Azif, allow me to introduce my other master, Evang. He's taken an active stance against the Dream King Reborn's Tower of Infinite Stuff, as Master Evang refers to it."

"Amazing how your mind wasn't blown away by the sheer scope of what you're going up against. Let me guess, Order of the Four Destroyed Walls, right?" Kurou greeted him, extending his hand. "Your Order is a collection of partially awakened planeswalkers and Time Divers, isn't it?"

"Kurou, it's 'The Order of the Four Broken Walls," Al-Azif corrected him. 

"Actually, the name of the Order isn't important. We'd be even more concerned if our Order became a household world, even in a single dimension," Evang said, smiling as the Shroud granted by his Vows to the Order seemed to work on Elder Gods as well as mortals. "We are honored by the presence of Elder Gods in our humble vessel. How may we serve?"

"You're already striking out, recruiting an army to mow down that Dream tower, right? That's a good thing. We're actually just here for a stop-over. Who knew looking for your kids across dimensions could be so tiring?" Kurou groused.

"This Dream King's tower isn't helping the transition between worlds either, being a rip in the fabric of different realities. I've never seen the like in my existence," Al noted.

"Oh, you have kids? If I may say so, Lady Al-Azif looks too young to be a mother," Evang said.

"They told me earlier that when Lady Al-Azif sat her daughter down for a family portrait to be taken, the artist blurted, 'Your little sister is cute, and she looks so much like you!' Poor man. He never figured out why his staff were snickering at him until she informed him of his false assumption," Jemu related.

"Tell you what, you two flatterers, since my wife is amused by your compliments, both said and unsaid, I'll help you out. Heck, I'll even throw in some heavy support in the form of Demonbane if you find yourselves facing big-ass demonic mecha."

"I thought gods were forbidden to directly act against the tower," Jemu mused.

"Mere gods, those of established pantheons, yes. The rule does not apply to newly awakened Elder Gods, or those gods who have lost their followers. Seriously, Order Mage, look it up."

"And where did you look this up, Lord Kurou?" Evang asked.

Kurou gave him a look that said "You're either really stupid for a mage, or you're blinded by my wife's beauty and mind-fogged by her shapely form."

"Dude, his wife was a once _grimoire, _a tome of power," Jemu informed him in a stage whisper.

"Oh."


	10. Crossover Shenanigans

Saito's Dreams

By Jemu Nekketsu

DISCLAIMER: I don't own any of the copyrighted characters and series in this work, and I'm not making money off of them either. Put those lawsuits away

**CHAPTER 10: Crossover Shenanigans**

Shana woke up not in the best of moods. She was fighting waves of nausea, her vision swam, and her chest felt heavy. She found the last sensation odd, because she didn't have difficulty breathing. Seeking the source of her concern, she put a hand to her chest.

The resulting scream jolted Saito to consciousness and into battle-ready mode. In an instant, he was on his feet, a ball of silver flame in his hand, ready to be thrown. "Shana!" he cried. The light cast by his ball of flame made orienting easier. He saw that they were in a makeshift infirmary, but could not make out what time of day it was, since he could not find any windows.

That was low on his list of priorities anyway. His top priority was to find Shana, and squeeze the life out of whatever caused her to scream. To the best of his memory, Shana _never _screamed in fear.

It took him only a few seconds to figure out where she was. Making his way to a curtained bed, he pulled the gauze aside, and stared dumbfounded at the sight of Shana cupping her breasts in her hands, their size very evident through her school uniform. _What's wrong with this picture? _Yuji thought. "Shana? How?"

She turned tear-filled eyes at him. "I don't know! When I woke up my chest felt heavy, and when I tried to find out why, there they were!" she wailed.

"Could it be an illusion?"

"They don't feel like illusions to me!"

"Tactile illusions exist, you know. Quick, take off your blouse and I'll make sure we're under no illusions," Yuji ordered her, urgency in his voice.

Thanks to the urgency she heard in his words, Shana did not think twice about shucking her blouse and presenting her chest to Yuji. He gulped and placed his hands on the white, quivering flesh, eliciting a gasp from her. "What's wrong, Shana?"

"Your hands, they feel so warm," Shana replied, turning slightly red as she admitted it.

"You can feel my warmth, huh? Then how about this?" Yuji ran his thumbs over her nipples, causing them to pucker and drawing out a moan from the young Flame Haze. Unable to help himself, he gave in to his long dormant teenage instincts and pushed her down on the bed, following after her and capturing a sensitized breast with his mouth.

"Yuji," Shana gasped, awash in an ocean of sensations. Moving on their own volition, her hands tangled themselves in his hair and pulled his head down, urging him to take more of her. She wasn't disappointed, and writhed in pleasure as one of his hands busied itself with her other breast, while the other hand was trying to unfasten her skirt.

Pulling himself briefly away from his delightful task, Yuji asked Shana, "Do you remember when you asked me to teach you how to make a baby?" At her nod, he continued, "What we were doing was part of the steps needed to make a baby, but we're skipping the first step. Do you want to know what that step is?"

"Yes," Shana replied breathlessly. "What is that first step?"

"Kissing, Shana. A kiss shared by two people."

Shana suddenly recalled Chigusa's words. _"A kiss is a commitment, a promise to give your entirety to a person. However, you aren't just kissing that person – that person is kissing you back, and making you the same promise. That is what it really is, Shana-chan, a promise between two people."_

Right now, more than anything, Shana wanted to give her everything to the boy peering down at her. "Kiss me, Yuji," she whispered fervently. "Kiss me, and be mine."

"Shana," Yuji whispered back. Whatever he was planning to say was swept away as his lips melded with hers, both of them groaning as their tongues found each other as they forayed and explored. Meanwhile, his hands got busy again, but this time the hands switched duties, which was a good thing because Shana's other newly-formed breast was feeling unloved. The skirt was done away with in record time, at which point Yuji pulled away. Shana couldn't help but feel bereft, and her eyes asked for an explanation.

"I'm overdressed for the occasion," Yuji explained. "Will you help me out of my clothes?"

_We will now speed up the flow of time, as I'm pretty sure you know what a couple of overheated teenagers would be doing in this situation, so as to avoid any senseless debates as to whether Flame Hazes and Mystes are still possessed of certain human physiological responses. I believe in giving couples privacy during their intimate moments – oh crap, the time dilation device is failing…_

"Did I hurt you just now, Shana?"

"I've taken worse fighting alongside you, Yuji," Shana pointed out. "Actually, it feels wonderful, being this close to each other."

"You're not in pain?" Yuji insisted.

Shana shook her head. "Not at all."

Yuji smiled, a smile that promised wonderful things in the next few minutes to come.

A few wonderful minutes later**…**

Evang gingerly pushed the door to his lab open. The magically created gloom that greeted him did not spill out into the corridor, but it still unnerved Eleonor de la Valliere, who was trying to peer around the wizard's cloaked form. She raised her brows as she heard her companion sniff loudly, twice. "Is something the matter?" she asked.

Her question put the old wizard in a bind. How was he to go about telling this spinster, who was his temporary apprentice that the air in the room was redolent with the scent of sweat and lovemaking, and that when he dispelled the gloom she would probably encounter a young man and a young woman around the age of her youngest sister curled up together, naked as the day they were born? "I detected something in the room. Wait here – and until I dispel the darkness, no matter what you hear, do not go inside. Do you understand?"

At her nod, he forged into the murky interior, and closed the door with a wave of his hand. He raised a barrier to foil any eavesdropping attempts, and then he called out, "Yuji? Shana? Are you awake?" The rustling from one of the corners of the lab, which he had transformed into a makeshift ward, told him all he needed to know. "Get dressed, you two. We're about to have company."

"Evang-san?" Yuji whispered, mostly to himself.

"Uhn. Shall we go?" Shana whispered back, starting to move. "He shouldn't be able to see in this gloom, and there's a screen hiding us from view."

"How do we find our clothes in the dark?" Yuji asked. The question gave Shana pause.

"How should I know? Besides, if you have to locate them, it's entirely your fault for throwing off our clothing all over the place."

"My fault? How can it be my fault? You were the one who started tearing your blouse off, complaining about it being too tight. In front of me, no less!"

A rather large bead of sweat formed at the back of Evang's head. "Come out when you're ready and head for the courtyard, you two. I might as well round up the rest of the gang."

Meanwhile, in the space between dimensions and worlds...

"Attention unknown vessel. This is the Time Space Administration Bureau unmanned patrol vessel BV-01 _Avante._ You are operating in a special protected area without proper license and your IFF marker is not registered on the TSAB database. Identify yourself now, and do not take hostile actions, otherwise, we shall escalate this matter."

"They are hailing us," BOS remarked. "That AI gunship is quite advanced, for what it is."

"Is it? What do you think we should do?" Jemu asked idly, trying to break an egg into a bowl and missing. "Dagnabbit!"

"You have fifteen seconds to reply," hailed the _Avante _again. "14... 13... 12... 11..." it counted down.

"Master?" BOS queried. "Shall I raise the shields?"

"Open hailing frequencies."

"Roger. Hailing frequencies, open."

"This is Commander Nekketsu of the First Interdimensional Mobile Autonomous Response Brigade, helming the Mobile Station SpaceBar. I kindly request that you do not engage us in combat as we are on a non-aggressive, observation and reconaissance mission for a certain agency, one that does not recognize the Time Space Administration Bureau due to lack of contact. Please engage your First Contact protocols, if any, but know that we shall defend ourselves if we determine hostile intentions."

"Understood. This vessel will stay in the area while a delegation from the Main office is in transit. Any perceived attempts to attack this vessel will be considered as a declaration of war, which is something the Bureau hopes would not happen."

"Likewise. SpaceBar out."

"Well?" BOS asked. "Is something on your mind, master?"

"Contact Evang now. Tell him the first of many... players, have arrived, and we that should expect others soon. Oh, and prepare anti-boarding and ship-to-ship combat routines, will you?"

"We don't have either of those, sir."

There was a pause.

_**"WHAT DO YOU MEAN WE DON'T HAVE THEM?"**_

"I did a bit of time-space hopping while our lovebirds were enjoying some quality time each other, and brought in the first prospective members of our strike force. Let me tell you, it wasn't easy asking for help destroying an obviously evil and powerful edifice. I'm glad they accepted, and I'm not going to ask for their reasons. Allow me to present to you, ladies and gentlemen, Mister Itsuki Iba, President of Astral," Evang bowed to to his guest, a teenage boy with black hair, garbed in a black three-piece suit, an eyepatch worn over his right eye.

The boy grinned sheepishly, and bowed as well. "Hello, I'm Itsuki Iba. Call me Itsuki, please. Um, I'd like to introduce my employees and colleagues. This is Adelicia Lenn Mathers, a genius in Solomonic magic which allows her to order extremely powerful and useful demons around."

"Itsuki, that is not the proper way to introduce the leader of the prestigious Magician's Society Goetia and descendant of King Solomon," the curly-haired blonde ground out, pinching his cheek.

"Ik ishn't? (Trans: It isn't?) Ow! Sorry, then."

"Hmph! I'll forgive it this time, since it's you, Itsuki."

"She reminds me of Montmorency," Saito whispered to Louise.

"It's the hair and the attitude, I guess," Louise whispered back.

"Those curls couldn't be natural," Shana noted.

"Well, she did say she's a part of a Magician's Society or something. I bet that saves a lot money on hair care," Yuji added.

"Next up is Honami Takase Ambler. She's awesome with Druidic magic, which uses plants to kick ass! She's also a crack shot with her mistletoe throwing needles, and she flies around on a broom like a real live witch!"

"Shachou, _I am a witch_. _Not 'like a real live witch,' understand_?" a bespectacled brunette wearing a black cape and conical hat said while smiling sweetly and pinching his ear. "And what are you about, introducing Addy first before me?"

"Don't call me Addy!" the blonde snapped.

"Well, she is the head of another Rental Magica company, so I guess it's professional courtesy?"

"Just so," Addy smiled smugly.

"Shachou, we ARE going to have a little TALK after this," Honami promised darkly.

"She's scary," Henrietta muttered so only Louise could hear. Lousie nodded.

"And this is Mikan Katsuragi. Please don't dismiss her because of her age, as she's a Shinto specialist."

"Shinto?" Louise asked.

"Ritual magic that specializes in wards, barriers, and cleansing evil," Saito replied.

"You sound like you know a lot of this, Saito-san," Henrietta noted.

"I do? Maybe it's because they're from my world, and Yuji's."

"And finally, we have Nekoyashiki-san, youngest member of Astral from when my father still had the reins. He's extremely knowledgeable and very handy to have around. He's awesome, with or without his cats to back him up."

"Ah, such words of praise from the President. Really I won't be anything without these kids - Seiryu, Byakko, Suzaku, Genbu come out and greet our contractors."

Four feline heads popped out from behind Nekoyashiki's shoulders and in between the folds of his robes. They meowed in unison.

"KAWAII!"

"Uh, you said finally, didn't you, Mr. Iba?" Old Osmond asked.

"Yup."

"Then who's that pretty little thing floating behind you, looking about my office?"

"Eh! Kuroha-san! What are you doing here? Who's tending Astral then?"

"You're so mean, Itsuki-kun. How am I supposed to level up if I don't adventure with you guys?"

"Who's Itsuki talking to?" Saito asked Old Osmond.

"Can't you see her? It's a girl, I'm judging from your world due to her clothes."

"We can't see her," Saito, Shana, Yuji, Louise, and Henrietta chorused. The Principal sighed.

"Concentrate. Ordinary humans shouldn't be able to see her, and you five are mages, a magical beast, and superhuman beings. Do try."

"This isn't a game, Kuroha-san. We're dealing with a job here that involves something big, something that can manipulate spirits."

"All the more reason for me to be here, is it not? Who can better provide you information about spirit-related matters than a ghost?"

"Waaah! She said she's a ghost! We could hear it!" the non-Astral teens exclaimed.

"We have Nekoyashiki for that."

"And if he's engaged in another crucial task? Wouldn't it be better to delegate the trivial functions to me and let him focus on vital ones?"

"She's right, Shachou. I'll only be able to sense spirit-related disturbances when things start to act up. Kuroha-san doesn't need to do anything - ghost sight is her default vision mode, and if it isn't she can easily switch," Nekoyashiki said.

"I don't have a problem with having Kuroha with us," Honami added.

"Yay, Kuroha-nee-san is here!" Mikan chimed in.

"Admit defeat, Itsuki, you're outvoted. Be thankful this isn't a board meeting about your tenure," Addy grinned.

"Hey, this concentration thing works! I can see her!" Yuji said.

"Yeah! She's tall, and slender, and cute too!" Saito added.

"PRETTY!" Saito and Yuji chorused, earning them elbows in their ribs courtesy of Louise and Shana, respectively.

Henrietta looked at the by-play and felt a little sad. She found herself wishing wistfully for someone she could call her own. If I had someone like that, someone to whisper to about my travails before we go to sleep, perhaps being Queen would be a bit more bearable.

"Well, that's it I guess. We're Astral, and we hope to have a fruitful working relationship with you. Please take care of us!" Itsuki finished with a flourish.

"Thank you for accepting our request, Astral. We appreciate the fact that you're willing to work on-site."

"I've a question, though," Honami said. "Why is there a need to bring us here? If what you explained of the circumstances is true, doesn't this Dark Tower also exist back in our home?"

"It does. However, on this plane is where the terrain surrounding the Tower most advantageous the Order of the Fourth Wall Breakers' purposes. On your home plane the Tower exists in a lonely island in the middle of the Pacific. It's a logistical nightmare getting close to it, and that's not taking its magical, automated defenses into account, or its standing army. Here, it's in the middle of what we've called the Plains of Desolation. Plains is actually a misnomer - the area used to be thick forest."

"And being on flat land is advantageous because?" Addy wanted to know. Evang grinned.

"Being on flat land makes any large force approaching the Tower easily seen, and trust me, with the number of factions who want to claim the Tower and its power for their own, or have their own agendas for it, the moment any force makes significant progress it will get targeted by the other forces on the scene and be locked in battle."

"I see," Addy and Honami said, satisfied for the moment.

"If we're hired to be a demolition task force, wouldn't it be better to approach the Tower where it's situated in the middle of a forest?" Kuroha asked.

"You would not like to encounter the things that go bump in the middle of a forest, especially one that surrounds a place that can alter reality on a whim. Trust me."

"Ah, Evang-san, may I ask where my employees accomodations are?"

"Worry not about that, Mr. Iba. For the length of your stay here, you will be guests at Tristain's Royal Palace, by authority from me, Queen Henrietta of Tristain."

Astral's girls, even the ghostly one, were awestruck. Itsuki was bewildered - he didn't just make his company look like a comedy act in front of royalty, did he? Come to think of it, how did one deal with royalty? Nekoyashiki was the only one who maintained composure, and gave Henrietta a courtly bow. Itsuki followed suit, and the other girls aped Addy's curtsy as best as they could.

"Your Highness-" Itsuki began.

"Majesty," Addy corrected.

"Your Majesty, you do too much for us. As of this moment, Astral is at your beck and call. Please, feel free to request anything of us, and we'll try to accomodate it - no, we'll fulfill it!"

"Are you sure?" Henrietta asked. Dared she hope for the impossible?

"Anything!" Itsuki promised, causing Addy and Honami to look concerned.

"This will be our first joint effort, we who have undertaken this dire mission and you whom we have asked to aid us. Very well, here is my wish."

Everyone else in the room gasped in surprise after Henrietta voiced her request.

"I want to successfully summon a human familiar of my own."

"Sir, we have a problem."

"What is it BOS?"

"The TSAB unmanned cruiser is powering up its attack and defense systems. There is a 90 probability of a guns-blazing spacefight between the station and the vessel."

"Hailing frequencies!"

"I've been trying to communicate with it for the past five minutes, sir. It has not responded."

"Damn! Plasma shields up! Change the _Avante's _IFF echo to yellow."

"_Avante _is firing! Brace for impact."

The station shuddered under the cruiser's main gun barrage. "Plasma shields ineffective. Station integrity at 95," BOS warned.

"What's going on?" Kuro Daijuuji roared, entering the bridge, Al on his heels.

"We're being fired upon by the time-space cops, despite the fact that we haven't done anything wrong. Oh yeah, our station's defenses don't to squat against their magic blasts."

The station shook again. "Station integrity down to 90. I suggest diverting plasma power to photon cannon batteries. We can set up a defensive barrage to try and lessen the blast damage," BOS advised.

"Should we lend you a hand?" Kuro asked.

"Thanks for the offer, but no. It might be construed by the TSAB as an act of belligerence, and the station isn't fully up to fending of an entire space fleet."

"Yet," BOS added ominously. If we lift Master's self-imposed locks and bans on the hypertech weapons of mass destruction, that piece of scrap metal firing at us is nothing."

"The moment we do, we'll be hunted down by everyone as a threat to the universe's existence. I don't want to spend my life running away," Jemu declared.

"CRITICAL HIT! Life support systems damaged. Station integrity down to 70."

"Active scanning and target acquisition AI, huh? Not bad for an unmanned piece of junk."

"Sir, if this continues, the enemy will destroy the station's life support. That will result in a continuous deterioration of station integrity. We are in grave danger, sir."

"Deploy cloaking field."

"Deploying."

"I've got a bad feeling about this. Kuro, we can't stay here and just do nothing," Al whispered telepathically to Kuro.

"I know. Do you think we can repel those magic blasts?" Kuro sent back.

"We have to try. From what I can tell, the SpaceBar is going to be a big help in locating our kids. Right now it's about to be blown up."

"We have to act carefully, Al. We mean well, we want to live, but we risk sparking a small war and involving the people we came here to ask help from."

"Hee-hee."

"What?"

"This isn't like you, husband. You weren't this contemplative back then. The you I knew would have flown out there immediately and planted an Atlantis Strike on the enemy before Jemu could even sputter."

"I'm a father now. I guess I have to take care of things better, don't you think?"

"What are you planning, Kuro?" Jemu asked.

"Oh, I spoke out loud, didn't I? Well, I was thinking of support defending the SpaceBar with Demonbane and Al."

"I don't know, Kuro. To have you assist this way, are you sure?"

"It could work, sir. If we do subspace jumps to dodge the blasts at the last possible instant, and receive support defense from Demonbane while the subspace teleporters are recharging, we might be able to hold out until someone from the TSAB we can talk to arrives."

"Sounds like you've given this thought, BOS. What's the station integrity?"

"Down to 60, sir."

"Okay. Commence Operation: Demon Shield."

"Let's go, Al!"

"Yeah!"

"Shana! Keep Yuji safe, you hear?" Evang called out.

"You don't have to tell me that, you know!"

"Oh, Founder Brimir, I didn't wish for this to happen! Forgive me, everyone!"

"Lament later, your Highness! Right now we fight!" Osmond admonished the Queen.

"What's the deal with this silver-armored giant? It's like my magic isn't damaging it!"

"Well, Louise, direct attack magic was never your specialty-" Saito began.

"Shut up, you stupid dog! Kyaa! What are you doing, you pervert?!"

"Saving you life, _Master,_" Saito spat the last word out like a taunt. "Honestly, you're light, why can't you be nimble? That way, I don't have to haul your cute little ass out of the line of return fire all the bloody time."

Itsuki looked at the members of Astral, who had scattered in various directions to avoid getting fried by silver fireballs. "Is everyone okay?" After hearing affirmatives all around, he sprinted to the magic circle where Henrietta had to stay for the duration of the ritual - the familiar summoning ritual gone horribly wrong. According to Evang, this was not interference from the Dark Tower - it was the creature hidden inside Yuji's body's reaction to a large flow of power. It was curious, naturally. "Astral, listen up! President's Orders!"

"Honami, fire misltetoe arrows at the armor joints - you'll have to aim on your own, this time-stop seal is messing my vision up - and then use those arrows to cast a binding curse on that thing. Nekoyashiki, use water elemental wards to shoot down his fireballs, and have the cats be ready to raise a barrier around the Queen." Witch and onmyoudo began to chant, alternating with letting loose with their shots as ordered.

"Mikan, raise a purging barrier following the magic circles the Queen is in, as well as the circle that the familiar is supposed to come out of. Kuroha be ready to use Poltergeist to either hold that thing down or raise a barrier, at my command. Adelicia, summon Asmodai."

As the first two scrambled into position, Addy hesitated. "Summon Asmodai? Here, now?"

"Addy! Don't be taking advantage of the President at a time like this!" Honami yelled.

"As if I would! He's the one who ordered it, anyways, so I can't be held accountable."

"Kuroha, ghost barrier over Honami!"

"Honami-san!"

The giant's axe crashed against a green barrier. Suppressing a squeak, Honami scuttled away from the kill zone.

"Adelicia, summon Asmodai. Now."

"Alright. Sorry."

As if to remind everyone that this was his office they were fighting in and messing up, Osmond aimed his staff at the silver giant. "Lighting Helix!" he commanded, and twin coruscating streams of energy erupted from his staff and spiraled around each other, slamming into the giant's breast plate. The armor seemed to absorb the attack, but it glowed red and did not return to its usual silver sheen. "I'm pretty sure he felt that."

"Uooooooooh!" Shana roared, unleashing a blast of fire at the same area.

Meanwhile, Addy was done with her kinky kiss preparation with Itsuki to summon Asmodai. The demon ruler materialized perfectly, and assumed a defensive stance around Itsuki and Addy.

"Nekoyashiki-san, once the fireblast clears, blast the chestplate with your shikigami assuming water attributes."

"Genbu, you take the lead, the others follow, go go go!" With a resounding meow, the cats hurled themselves together to become a ball of energy and slammed into the area Osmond and Shana had been attacking. There was a hiss and a sound not unlike glass shattering.

"Bind it, Honami! Make sure it doesn't escape this time!"

"Understood! Buy me some time, Addy!"

"Asmodai!" Addy cried out. The animal heads roared, and the demon queen grabbed hold of the giant's battle axe by the shaft. Surprisingly, the silver giant was able to hold out, despite being forced to use just one hand. That changed however when Saito jumped in and brought Derflinger down on the giant's gauntlet, causing an explosion that knocked the familiar back and shattered the giant's hand. Asmodai, now in control of the weapon, brought it down on the cracked breast plate, carving it open and revealing a hollow core that wasn't all empty.

"That's the Reiji Maigo!" Shana exclaimed.

"Yuji, wake up, boy!" Evang pleaded, channeling his energy into a healing wave and trying to revive the fading Mystes. "It's time for you to recover that which was stolen. Come on, everybody's done their part, now it's your turn!" The shaman was smiling as he helped the boy to his feet.

"Thanks, Evang-san."

"Go get it, tiger."

Roaring an unintelligible battle cry, Yuji dashed for the giant, who was being forced on its knees thanks to Honami and Addy's, well Asmodai's efforts. "Reiji Maigo! Return to me!" He leaped and thrust his hand into the cavity, and the second he touched the Hougu there was a flash. The Reiji Maigo was back in its proper container once more.

"Gogyouken Hissatsu! Shinha Goshou Sen!" Itsuki roared, leaping over Yuji and delivering an open palm blow to the silver giant, hitting it with enough force to break Honami's binding, slam through Osmond's office wall, and send it flying out of sight, the light of a powerful explosion the only indication of its fate.

"Is it over?" Old Osmond asked, puffing his pipe.

"I guess so," Itsuki replied in his usual voice. "So now, we can get back to the summoning."

"Actually, shachou-nii-chan, the summoning's finished already," Mikan informed everyone.

All eyes turned to the Queen, still sitting on the floor, talking to a carrot topped teenage boy in a T-shirt and dark pants.

"So let me get this straight. You're Henrietta de Tristain, and you summoned me here, to be what to my understanding adds up to be a Servant."

"Um, yes. I've always wanted one, you see. Oh, I'm sorry, were you in the middle of something important when I summoned you?"

"Nah, just getting on with my life, waiting for King Arturia to return to me. Nothing speical, really."

"King Arturia? I don't believe we've had a king in any of the countries with that name, not even Albion. Besides, it sounds like a girl's name, so shouldn't it be Queen Arturia?"

"I don't understand it either."

"Oh, yes, how rude of me, I forgot to ask your name in all this excitement."

"My name? My name is Shirou, Shirou Emiya."

_CHAPTER 10 END_

_Bonus points and rewards (READ: acknowledgement in the next chapter's pre-episode) to the people who can answer why the summoning turned out the way it did. As always, please read and review, and sorry for the late update!_


	11. Sounds Familiar

**Saito's Dream**

A Fanfic by Jemu Nekketsu

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Zero No Tsukaima, Shakugan no Shana, Fate/Stay Night, Nanoha Strikers, or even Demonbane, or any other copyrighted stuff you might recognize in the text, although I wish I did.

**Chapter 11: Sounds Familiar**

"Damn, Kurou! I'm authorizing an all out attack on that goddamn cruiser! Take it out in one hit, before it fires that spread attack again!" Jemu called out over the comm.

"Just what I was waiting for! Al!"

"All attack spells ready, Kurou! Whatever you want to dish out, whenever!"

"Yoshi! Charge the catapults, Al, and watch for the opening! Atlach-Nacha!"

Demonbane wrapped the unmanned gunship with a net of red light and tightened it. At Kurou's urging it hauled one of its arms back, causing the TSAB droneship to hurtle toward it.

"Eat this! Atlantis Strike!" Totally bending the laws of physics as it was wont to, Demonbane struck the approaching enemy with a drop kick moving a the speed of light. Let us clarify that – from zero to light speed in 0.5 seconds. The _Avante _never had a chance. Demonbane ripped through its hull, compromised its reactor, and shot out of its stern. The gunship exploded a second later.

"Confirming enemy destroyed. Station integrity down to 25," BOS announced.

"We have no defense against magic blasts," Jemu bemoaned, "Save for thicker armor, and then not by much. Prioritize repairs, BOS."

"Yes, sir."

"Kurou, Al, I'm sorry to have taken up so much of your time. I know you want to get back to searching for Kuzaku and Another Blood – let me beam you down to the surface of this two-mooned world, where my crony Evang is kicking around. He's currently assembling a force to take over a planar gate on the scale of Yog-Sothoth, and to prevent people from misusing it."

"That's ambitious," Al noted.

"It needs to be – word is, Khorne, Nurgle, Slanesh, and Tzeentch, hell, even Khaine are racing to get their grubby mitts on the thing."

"Shit, I got into a barroom brawl with those bastards once. They're bad news," Kurou said.

"I thought Khaine was an Eldar god," Al pointed out.

"Yeah – Eldar god of war," Kurou drawled, rolling his eyes for effect. "Well, send us down, Jemu."

"Roger that. Thanks for the assist, and good luck finding your kids. BOS, pause repairs and send our guests here planetside."

"Okey-dokey. Have a safe trip!"

Demonbane vanished in a cloud of blue light, to hopefully rematerialize on the planet's surface several kilometers below.

"Back to work," Jemu sighed. "Do you have any idea why that TSAB cruiser attacked us without provocation?"

"Negative. Permission to divert all power that can be spared to repairs?"

"Proceed. I'll be checking on Evang's logs, I think."

Trouble was not yet over, though.

**KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK**

"_You do not mess with the Time-Space Administration Bureau. You just don't. If you break their toys, hurt their people, or blow up their homes, they will respond in kind, tenfold, plus accrued interest. Just look at that poor Scaglietti bastard – he got owned by a bunch of kids and some cute broads."_

_-- Anonymous criminal in a top-secret TSAB maximum security prison base_

**KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK**

"I have detected a subspace break in sector 6-2, Commander," BOS announced.

"I don't see anything on our secondary sensors," Jemu noted. "Possible cloaked vessel?"

"Highly likely sir. I do hope it's not the TSAB again – seriously, sir, we need a break."

"The chances of us getting that are not good, BOS. Please bring out my modified XV-22. I'll investigate, oh, and activate the Kogarashi-type servitor I've kept in cryo-storage and place it under your command." Jemu stepped onto a raised circular platform and spread his arms wide. After some safety foot plates clamped into place, mechanical arms revealed themselves above the station commander, bearing tools and battlesuit parts. With great precision they attached armor to Jemu's feet and legs, his arms and torso. A final mechanical limb lowered a helmet that looked like it was loaded with an advanced sensor array around the battlesuit's shoulders, forming the head.

"Paint job and weapons select, sir?" BOS inquired.

"Primary white, secondary orange. Save the color scheme as 'Abend.' As for weapons, I'll take a flamer and a fusion blaster."

"Good choice, sir. Ah, here comes our new housekeeper."

A 7-foot tall, muscled, tanned, shark-toothed man with demonic-looking hair wearing a modified maid uniform (complete with white apron) entered the Main Lounge from one of its many doors. Upon seeing the XV-22 stepping off the platform, the newcomer paused. "Are you my new employer, or are you just a mascot?"

"I'm not a mascot!" Swiveling the arm mounted weapons back so that he could raise his helmet, Jemu glared at the Maid Guy. "Your sort go by the name Kogarashi, am I right?"

"Indeed. Are you my new employer?"

"That I am. I will be going out for a bit, and in my absence, you will take commands from the station's computer. BOS."

"Station? Explain yourself, master."

"You are in the mobile interdimensional fortress, SpaceBar. It is currently in orbit over a planet similar to Earth, save that it has two moons and some of its inhabitants can practice magic. As of now, though, we have just weathered an attack from the Time Space Administration Bureau – their reasons for attack remain unknown. Just earlier, we detected signs that another enemy wave might be approaching – I am going out to verify this presence. Do you understand?"

"Yes. What are my duties?"

"You are to defend the bridge – the Main Lounge, as I call it, and should customers appear – this is a bar, after all – you are to take care of their orders for food and wine. Can you handle it?"

"Kukuku. Such a simple task is nothing in the face of a Maid Guy's fearsome abilities. So, go out and chase ghosts, Tenchou, this Maid Guy will handle everything."

Jemu's eyebrow twitched. _So now I'm a store manager, huh? _"Like I said earlier, BOS will supervise you in my absence." Donning his helmet once more and making sure it was sealed properly, he ordered, "Beam me out, BOS."

"Acknowledged."

Outside, in the depths of space over the parallel Earth, Jemu was pleased to see that the suit was holding up perfectly fine. "Advanced sensor array, check. Thrusters, clear. Stealth field, ready. Weapon systems set to pre-armed status. Jemu and Fire One, heading out." He fired his jets and headed straight for sector 6-2, but before he was even halfway there his sensors picked something up, moving at very high speed toward the SpaceBar. "BOS, get ready, we got company! Something fast and invisible is headed your way, and I've got a bad feeling about this. I'm tailing it!"

"What about sector 6-2, sir?"

"Screw sector 6-2! I'm cloaked and should be catching up to whatever it is I'm chasing – can you read off my sensors and tell me what I might be following?"

"It's got its own stealth field, so I can only estimate. I'd say with the speed and energy emissions I can recognize, it might be similar to an Eldar Falcon."

"A combat APC? Terrific. What are our chances of stopping it?"

"Right now? I'd say none, sir. All our defenses are offline, and we've got holes you can drop a Squiggoth into all over the exterior thanks to the gunship's MAP attack."

"Kukuku. There's nothing to worry about, Tenchou. Let them come, and I shall treat them to a Maid Guy's hospitality, with extra service!"

"Kogarashi! We don't even know how many unknowns that APC, if it is an APC, contains!"

"That does not matter, Tenchou. Please leave this to your servant."

"Like hell I'm just gonna let you have all the fun."

**KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK**

"Hey, Kurou, where the heck are we?"

"What does it look like, Al? We're in the middle of nowhere."

The two looked around them, standing on Demonbane's shoulders, taking in the desolate, lifeless field around them. It wasn't burnt, nor did it bear the signs of a heavy battle that annihilated everything in it. It looked like life simply gave up and left, making for an all and all dreary, gray place. "I can sense something ominous and foreboding in the distance - in that direction," Al said, pointing.

"And I can sense Jemu-san's presence – this way," Kurou said in a puzzled voice, pointing to another direction. "Didn't we leave him floating above the planet?"

"I'm pretty sure we did. So, what do we do now, aruji-sama?"

"Hehe. Aruji-sama. You haven't addressed me in that way since you were small enough for me to encircle your waist with two hands, pull you into my lap, and..."

"Eh 3. Kurou is ecchi 3."

Demonbane was 100 machine. If he wasn't, he would have been very embarrassed at the antics of the couple who were supposed to be its pilots, acting for all the world like high schoolers. Rolling its eyes and sighing would have been its next course of action, if only it were able to do so.

Kurou meanwhile had pulled Al into his lap, and because she was now taller than she used to be, instead of rubbing his chin on the top of her head, he was nuzzling the back of her neck. "Let's head off in the direction where I felt Jemu-san, ok?"

"In a bit, aruji-sama. My body aches all over, pulling that support defense stunt earlier. My back, arms, thighs, and especially my bottom are all sore."

"Do you want to rest in book form?"

"I'm not _that _beat up. Who do you think I am?"

"Good. In that case, Al, let me and my hands take away the soreness from your arms, back, bottom, and thighs. Especially you thighs."

"Kurou," Al sighed.

Long story short, it was a _long, long _while before Demonbane started to move again.

**KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK**

The TSAB experimental Rapid Armored Transport (R.A.T.) _Thunderhead _punched through seven armor layers of the SpaceBar's hull, leaving a flurry of emergency bulkheads and sealants in its wake. Gunpods extended along its length, and seeing that there were no hostiles in the immediate vicinity, the crew doors opened, disgorging the 10-woman assault team inside.

As if waiting for this moment, vulcan and RPG turrets popped up from hiding behind the walls, floor, and ceilings of the 4-way intersection that the APC had stopped in, and proceeded to rain explosives and ammunition on the intruders.

"Defenser Plus," a male, mechanical voice intoned. A yellow screen of light caught the brunt of the barrage, leaving those behind it unscathed.

"IS: Ray Storm," a voice called out. Jade-colored lasers streaked toward the defense emplacements and destroyed them with precision.

Silence.

"Is everyone OK?" Enforcer Fate T. Harlaown inquired.

"I'm OK, Fate," Teana Lanster replied. "Ginga?"

"My girls and I are fine," Ginga Nakajima answered, referring to herself and her students, 7 combat cyborgs formerly of Scaglietti's Numbers. "Sound off, everyone!"

"Cinque, OK."

"Sei, A-OK!"

"Otto, ready."

"Nove here. I'm not hurt or anything."

"Dieci, ready as well."

"Wendi, 100 OK!"

"Deed, no damage."

Fate smiled. "Shari, how's the _Thunderhead?" _

"He's doing great – those grenades just barely scratched his paint job," Shari Finieno replied. "You're tough, aren't you, Thunderhead?"

"I'm the toughest there is, little lady!" the APC boomed. "And call me T., please."

"I see we've got to work on your attitude, mister. Let me get my board out."

"Hell no! Ain't touching my guts with that piece of trash mind-fugger thing of yours – OW! OW! Dammit, little lady that hurt!"

"You're gonna get hurt a lot worse if you don't obey me, Mr. T."

"Understood, ma'am. I'm behaved, I'm behaving, see?" the APC's reply was subdued, this time.

"Good boy."

"Shari? Don't work him out too hard, OK? We might need to make a fast getaway." Fate reminded her aide.

"Fate, I understand that we should find out what the people behind this station know about the persistent, um, 'magical black hole' for lack of a better term, but won't our breaking in be misconstrued by the people we need to talk to?" Teana asked.

"They have the capability to destroy a TSAB vessel, Teana – I'm not taking any chances, even if I just came here to talk. I'd say breaking through their walls and shooting down some automated defense systems should put us back on the level, negotiation-wise."

"This is... interesting. Shari-san, can you confirm my area-scan?" Otto requested.

"Okay. Thunderhead's sensors say – what the heck is going on?!" Shari exclaimed.

"You can't generate a map too, am I right?" Otto pressed.

"That's true! What's with this place? I'm going to run a system check."

"I've already done one – my sensors are all normal."

"This place is abnormal," Wendi piped up.

"Hmm. Cinque, what would be your course of action in this situation?"

"If we have no reliable intel, we do not move. We don't even know where our objective is; moving randomly is not advised."

**KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK**

"BOS, where's Kogarashi?"

"He's heading toward that junction, master."

"Did you give him a comm piece?"

"Kukuku. Maid Guy UHF Antenna can jump in on any form of electromagnetic conversation, Tenchou."

"Splendid. BOS, warp the topology once Kogarashi is in a crossfire position with me. I want you to take out one of the two branches we aren't covering, and download yourself into a Super Dreadnought body and take over the branch you left."

"That's gonna eat up a lot of our power, master."

"I know. Just do it. Neutralizing these intruders comes first."

"I'll be there in one minute, and not a second more, Tenchou."

"Let's do this."

**KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK**

"Will you look at that! That corridor just melted away into nothingness!" Teana gasped.

"I'll check it out!" Sei volunteered. "IS: Deep Diver!" The cyborg faded into the wall that used to be a corridor, and came back out a few seconds later. "It turned into a wall that has interdimensional space on the other side! I almost died!" she wheezed, falling on her knees and trying to catch her breath.

"This place is just messed up," Nove said, stating the obvious.

"Messed up or no, it's still my barn, and I don't take kindly to intruders bad-mouthing it," Jemu retorted, dropping his stealth field to add more power to his thrusters and fusion blaster. Two small saucer like devices detached themselves from his XV-22's back rack, each unfolding some high-tech-looking attachments. "And as I always say, shoot first, interrogate survivors!" With that, he sent himself jetting forward, loosed a volley of missiles and a concentrated bolt of energy at the APC. Acting on instinct, the TSAB invaders dodged, belatedly realizing that they were not the target and that they should have counter-attacked. _Thunderhead _rocked with the force of the explosions, and there was a gaping hole on its side armor. In return, it aimed its gunpods at the orange-and-white armored humanoid and fired, with Nove and Wendi surging forward to engage the XV-22 as well.

Down the length of another corridor, BOS maneuvered his bulky frame into place. Locking his treads-legs, he chambered a round into his Variable Stake and announced his presence with a roar. "Photon Cannon!" A ball of energy filled the corridor's width and hurtled toward the junction, its message of death clear – Dodge This Or Die. The AI was shocked when a powerful blast dissipated and was dissipated by his attack, and looking at the target area he saw one of the women was shouldering a massive cannon comparable in size to the one serving as his right arm. "Very well! I accept your challenge!" he boomed out through his loudspeakers. Unlocking his firing braces and regaining mobility, he rolled forward, and was forced to adopt a makeshift defensive ball as green lasers attempted to penetrate his armor from all sides. He bellowed, not unlike a great beast, then bellowed again as the massive cannon that thwarted him earlier fired again, pushing him back and into a wall.

"Hold still, sucker!" Nove cried, cursing as her flying kick missed Jemu's XV-22. In response, one of the suit's drones zipped to her back and let loose with a couple of plasma carbines, only to have Wendi jump in and raise her riding board to protect her sister. Jemu used the opportunity to launch another round of anti-armor attacks against the APC, only to have the missiles shot down by orange balls of energy. "Who the hell shot my missiles down?" he asked aloud. His other drone swiftly placed itself between Cinque's projectiles and his suit as he landed from his leap, sacrificing itself in the process, and to his surprise he felt something grab his leg and lock his movement. Looking down, he saw a hand attached to an arm rising from the floor, and let loose a fusion blast at it, only to watch the arm sink back into the floor. He was suddenly the recipient of two energy blades to the back courtesy of Deed, causing him to fly right into Ginga's left hook that sent him into a wall, and was mercilessly gunned down by Wendi, Nove, and Cinque. The only thing that prevented him from dying at that point was his gun drone shooting down Cinque's knives, and he knew that his situation was bad. Left with no choice, he recalled the drone and cloaked himself, willing the self-repair system his suit to kick in.

Losing track of their prey, Cinque asked Shari, "Do you have him on scanners?"

"Negative, Cinque – those energy attacks from that armored guy fried up Thunderhead's sensors."

"That must have been his objective from the start," the shortest number guessed.

"It's up to you now, BOS," Jemu ordered. "Herd them in, and if possible, wreck the APC."

"Understood. Upgrading Offense system, upgrading Defense system, upgrading unit Speed. Duration, 15 seconds and counting down."

"That walking tank is giving out a lot of strange readings," Otto noted.

"Do you think it's going to launch a suicide attack?" Fate asked.

"It would be better to take it out as soon as possible, then," Dieci replied. "Energy Bullet – Standard, selected. Beginning countdown in 5."

"Break through, BOS!" Jemu ordered. The Super Dreadnought armor hurled itself with unexpected speed away from the wall and down the corridor.

"Everyone, concentrate fire on that thing!" Fate ordered.

"Trident Smasher," Bardiche Assault intoned.

"FIRE!" Fate commanded. At her word, Teana, Cinque, Otto, Nove, Dieci, and Wendi let loose as well, with Cinque detonating her knives with her IS, Rumble Detonator, after they had buried themselves in the target.

"Did we get it?" Sei asked, peering at the smoke.

In response to her question, a three-digit mechanical claw emerged from the cloud, reaching in the direction of Thunderhead. Deed jumped and slashed it with her twin blades, and the smoke finally cleared to reveal a Super Dreadnought that didn't look like it took any damage from the furious volley earlier.

"Protect the Thunderhead, and Shari! Everyone attack!" Ginga yelled, and soon it was a chaotic scene of females trying to bring down the mechanical monstrosity. Even Fate was going all out, dual-wielding a pair of zanbers. Putting their backs to the APC, Teana, Dieci, and Otto barraged the target from a stationary position, while Ginga, and the other cyborgs swarmed it. Sei, of course, being less capable in combat compared to her sisters, instead headed back into the APC, ready to dive with Shari to safety should the situation call for it. They let out a whoop when they succeeded in chopping off both of the Super Dread's arms, but it wasn't about to give up yet. It countered with a pair of hidden flamers in its torso and its forward-facing triple autocannon, forcing Fate to bring up a barrier.

"Now, Kogarashi!" Jemu yelled triumphantly.

A ceiling panel fell down between the firing line and the front attacker's line, which was quickly followed by a large, dark shadowy form. "Have a taste of Hell! MAID GUY VOICE!"

The women shrieked at the aural atrocity – or perhaps squeaked was a better word, as their throats were unable to make a sound one second after hearing the horrible noise. "This is the Maid Guy Voice! Upon hearing it, your senses will be overloaded but not be gone, and you will be unable to move for 1800 seconds! The most powerful way to capture intruders, and keep them in an excellent conditions for whatever follows! Kukuku!"

"Excellent work, Kogarashi. Count how many victims you've paralyzed, please."

"There are nine out here, Tenchou."

"You two keep an eye out, while I check the vehicle," Jemu ordered, praying that the annoying girl who could phase through floors and ceilings did not get away. For once, his prayers were answered – he encountered Sei, as well as Shari, frozen with fear, in the cockpit of the APC. "You two are coming with me," he declared, then realized how foolish he sounded. They would be paralyzed for the next half hour, which meant one thing. "Okay, boys, time to haul these pretty guests of ours to the Main Lounge and find out exactly what's going on."

"I'm not gonna be able to do that, master, they've disarmed me, literally," BOS whined.

"Kukuku. You worthless piece of talking junk! Maid Guy Hair Grapplers!" At his command, Kogarashi's hair grew thicker and longer, and snaked around their captives' bodies in a manner eerily similar to that of tentacle beasts assaulting shapely young women. "A modification to the Maid Guy Hair Sensor, used when thieves are not a problem and more hands are required to perform a job!" Cackling to himself, he carried the smallest prisoners, Shari and Cinque, under each arm, and lifted the rest with his hair. "Let's go, Tenchou!"

"Just a moment – aha! There we go!" Jemu emerged from the APC, holding a keyring that clearly said _Thunderhead _on one of the keys. He led the way to the Main Lounge, whistling.

**KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK**

Evang's little army had moved their HQ from the Tristain Academy to the Royal Palace, at the Principal's request. "It's not that I hate having you around, but if this is the sort of thing to expect from staying around you for a certain length of time, I'm going to have to start thinking of my students' safety. True, your time-stop barrier or whatever you call it is pretty good in containing the damage, but what if that barrier gets pierced while you're fighting?" Old Osmond asked.

Which is why Shirou Emiya of Fuyuki City found himself blushing in a plush bedroom, carrying on a conversation with a girl around his age with his back turned to her. "Um, Your Highness, could you finish dressing up first before we continue talking?"

"Do I make you uncomfortable, Shirou?" Henrietta asked, slipping into a corset.

"Well, frankly, yes."

"Eh? Louise told me she does this all the time – dressing and undressing herself in her familiar's presence. She said it was normal."

"Allow me to inform you, Your Highness, that for modern Japanese male teenagers, staying in the same room with an attractive female changing her clothes is simply not done, with good reason!"

"What's that, Shirou? Did you just say you find me attractive?" Henrietta's heart raced.

"Well, you're pretty, in your own way. Your Highness," he added quickly.

"Eh?" Henrietta walked over to stand in front of Shirou, and bent from the waist to stare at him in the face. "What did you mean by that?"

"W- W-" Shirou stammered, moving his gaze from her face, which was uncomfortably close to his, to her cleavage, so artlessly, deliciously displayed by her corset. "Would you please cover up, Your Highness?" Shirou scooted backward on the stone floor he was sitting on. "You're practically falling out of your clothes!"

Undaunted, Henrietta followed her familiar's backward progress, finally cornering him when he came up against the side of her bed. Dropping to her knees in front of him, right between his splayed feet, she said softly, "I need you, Shirou."

Those words froze the mage-turned-familiar in place, much like a deer caught in the headlights of a vehicle. He gulped, forced his throat to work, but no words, not even sounds came out. Was this it? Was she asking him to betray Saber? Would he? Could he? Would it really be betraying Saber? His heart began to pound.

"I need you to tie my corset laces in the back. Please?" Henrietta presented her back to him.

Relief melted Shirou, clouding his mind, making him brush off all his logical arguments as to why a teenage boy shouldn't be in the same room as a teenage girl who was changing her clothes. "Leave it to me, Your Highness."

"Oh, I must insist you call me Henrietta. We needn't be on formal terms – you are my familiar after all."

"But-"

"But?"

"Your name is quite long, and it's pronounced 'A-N-Ri-E-Ta'. It's like a Japanese surname."

"I'll have you know I'm quite proud of this name, and will not accept nicknames."

"There, all done, Henrietta-ojo- er, Henrietta."

"Ne, Shirou? What's special about you?" she asked abruptly. "I mean-"

"Huh? I'm rather ordinary, I guess."

"You're lying. Every creature summoned as a familiar here gains special abilities, if they're not already inherently magical."

"Inherent magic, huh? Well, I know two types of sorcery. One allows me to analyze how an object is put together, say a sword, and in most cases enhance the property of that object. This is especially useful for me, because I am not the best of hand to hand fighters. I would have to rely on my equipment."

"Well, that's to be expected. Mages aren't supposed to bear arms, unless they're mage-knights."

"Mage-knights, was it? I think I have a fair idea of what that entails, and I'm telling you right now, Your Ma- Henrietta, I'm not cut out to be one."

"Hmm. We shall see. You said you knew two types of sorcery. What is the other one?"

"Well, let's just say my second sorcery allows me to pull out the perfect weapon for any situation. However, it takes up a lot of mana, so I can't use it often."

**KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK**

Meanwhile, Astral's Japanese mages were walking the palace grounds, inspecting its layout. Positions were key in Celtic, Shinto, and Onmyoudo systems, as these magics work best when using what was already there, instead of forcing something into existence. This left Itsuki and Addy alone, sipping tea from silver cups.

"Silver again, huh?" Itsuki noted, remembering the giant they had only recently disposed of.

"Well, gold will be a whole lot tackier," Addy noted. "Hey, Itsuki, do you think we'll be facing a lot of things like that during this mission?"

"Eh? Hmm, I don't know. I do prefer things I could see, even if they tower over me, because they won't be sneaking around and taking me by surprise, I think."

Suddenly, a cry rang out, followed by soldiers and and palace mages rushing about. "Excuse me, sir, what is going on?" Addy asked of the palace mage whose arm she had snagged.

"There's a big, white steel giant at the castle gates! Apparently, it's looking for your sponsor!" the harried man answered. "You wouldn't happen to know where he is, would you?"

"Our sponsor? Oh, you mean Evang-san! He said he would be sleeping, and said also that he was not to be disturbed," Itsuki replied.

"Itsuki, when you reach my level of magic sensitivity, you'll find that there are some things you just can't sleep through," Evang suddenly appeared near the tea set, poured himself a cup, and drank, wincing at the bitterness. "Ugh. Anyway. The arrival of a fully functional Deus Machina is one such thing. Shall we go?"

In the next instant, the three found themselves at Demonbane's feet. "Kurou, get yourselves down here, and stop scaring the locals. Also, send the Demonbane away for a bit – we want our trump card hidden as much as possible until the last moment," Evang greeted him. The Deus Machina's chest opened a bit, and Kurou clambered out onto Demonbane's shoulder, followed by Al, who just floated over elegantly to stand beside him.

"Do you know that guy?" Al asked Kurou.

"He feels the same way as Jemu-san does. I'm positive he's the one we're looking for," Kurou replied.

"Oi! If you're looking for a place to stash the Deus Machina, you can leave it at the SpaceBar with no charge!" Evang shouted up.

"Ah, Evang-san, right? I wouldn't want to impose on Jemu-san, he just weathered an attack from a group called Time-Space Warp or something," Kurou said.

"The Time-Space Administration Bureau?" Evang offered.

"Yeah, that's how they identified themselves. Listen, is there a place where we can bunk out?" Kurou asked.

"Oh, housing you two would be no problem. It's the Deus Machina that needs to be kept and maintained in a hangar of sorts."

"Is there a sufficiently large and deep body of water nearby?" Al asked.

"I'm not a local. Hey, can someone answer the question, please?"

"Lake Lagdorian," one of the palace guards answered.

"Hmm, it's worth a try. Can someone guide us please?" Evang asked.

"I'll lead you there."

"Your Highness?" gasped the assembly.

"We couldn't possibly impose," Evang began, only to be cut off by a wave of the Queen's hand.

"I'm bored, being stuck inside with nothing to do. Do you not know the saying, 'A bored monarch is a dangerous monarch?' Heed it well."

"But your entourage," the ministers began. Henrietta glared at them.

"I have an entourage here already – the group Astral, plus Louise Francoise De La Valliere and her friends from her familiar's world. Speaking of which, I have my own human familiar, who is also a mage. And there is this iron giant who Mage Evang treats as an ally – if I were to take my standard entourage of retainers, it would look like I was planning to invade Albion itself," she smiled at her own jest, softening her features.

The ministers and other officials backed down. Their new Queen was a stubborn one, and when she laid the law down like that, not even her closest advisers could sway her.

_Chapter 11 End_

_A/N: Time to reveal a little gem. I like to poke fun at characters by linking them with other characters they share the same seiyuu (voice actor/actress) with. Look forward to Shirou creating a Spirit Bow, Henrietta kicking ass with Shirou using a two-handed sword he created, and Itsuki being bedeviled by a female fox spirit. I can't say exactly when, but these scenes will appear. Until next time, please read and review! Suggestions are welcome and will be highly considered!_


	12. Visitors from a Grim Future

Saito's Dream

Saito's Dream

A Fanfic by Jemu Nekketsu

DISCLAIMER: I do not own the copyrighted characters that appear in this work.

Chapter 12 – **Visitors from a Grim Future**

THE STORY SO FAR: The Interdimensional Fortress SpaceBar successfully weathered a raid by the Time Space Administration, thanks to the efforts of the ultimate hired help, Maid Guy Kogarashi. Commander Jemu is now in the midst of negotiations with representatives from the TSA. Meanwhile, Kurou and Al have joined up with Evang, and with the help of Tristain's denizens have stored Demonbane in Lake Lagdorian to hide it from prying eyes.

**NNNNNNNNNNNNN**

In a makeshift 'War Room' borrowed from the Tristain palace a meeting was taking place.

"I just received word from my comrade in space that they've been attacked, but fortunately they've managed to defeat the attackers and take them prisoner. It was a close call, though," Evang addressed his ragtag army. "We'll be borrowing a page from their playbook – we're going to assign roles and group you into squads for easy management and control. Listen up!

Obviously, Astral has enough members to form 2 squads. Itsuki will be team lead and forward attacker, as well as overall leader of Astral's attacker and stationary support teams. He will also be forward commander for Saito, Louise, Yuji, and Shana, to be known from this point onward as the Love-Love team. Any questions?"

"Why are we the Love-Love team?" Saito and Yuji protested. "We demand a name change!"

"You want a name change? Fine! Choose then, between Love-Love Team and Easily-Beaten-By-Girlfriend Team!" Evang roared.

"That's no choice at all!" both boys protested again.

Ignoring the protests, Evang pushed on. "I will now explain about team positions. There are four positions: forward, center, back, and wing. Let me give you a brief description of what each entails. Forwards' jobs are to approach the enemy, draw enemy fire, and ideally destroy all hostiles without relying on the other team members. In cases when this cannot be done, forwards will buy time for the rest of the specialist members to get into position to deploy their abilities. Itsuki, given his martial arts training combined with his ability to see magic makes an ideal forward. Shana can also fulfill this role."

"Centers' jobs include protecting their other team members and harassing enemies from various effective ranges. Centers are traditionally ranged direct attackers capable of high rates of fire – this is necessary to counter enemy ranged attacks, but I've seen area-effect centers covering their teammates' advance. Centers must also be mobile to be where they are needed most, or have an outstanding range coupled with rate of fire. Honami, and Nekoyashiki will be our centers. Nekoyashiki has range and multiple actions thanks to his cats, while Honami is highly mobile, and has an impressive arsenal."

"Those in the back positions are specialists not suited to direct combat. Mikan is in this position, because she really doesn't attack run of the mill opponents, Addy needs to stay focused to use her summons effectively, Kuroha's Poltergeist skills take a while to start up but are very useful once they get going plus she gets to fly around saving people with barriers and pulling them out of harm's way, and Louise, well Louise, how should I say this…" Evang faltered.

"If Louise finishes her incantation, the fight is pretty much over. Her long spell has the destructive power of a modern nuclear weapon," Saito explained.

"Excellent, Saito, which brings us to you and Yuji's position, wing guards. Yuji really shouldn't be used in frontline combat, but his Blutsauger is still pretty effective – it should be used with precision. He can also double as a ranged attacker, with a great degree of control over his silver fireballs. He's also resistant to flames, thanks to his Azur. Saito, on the other hand, becomes a superhuman sword monster who is only limited by the fact that he needs to keep an eye on Louise all the time. Still he can move very quickly whenever he sees danger to Louise, so expect to see him dashing like lighting from the frontlines back to her. So, for a special reward, can someone describe a wing guard's position?" Evang asked.

"A wing guard supports the frontline attackers by hitting the enemy while they're pre-occupied with the forwards," Itsuki suggested.

"By my definition, wing guards typically hang back, protecting the support teams and striking a decisive blow when opportunity arises," Saito answered.

"My answer's the same as Saito's," Yuji replied.

"Good answers. Now, for your rewards, here are some nude photos of your love interests-"

Evang was not able to finish his sentence due to all the hating and direct damage hitting him faster than one could say "shitty old man."

Outside, Kurou and Al were wondering where Evang was when they heard an explosion from deep inside the castle. "Five will get you ten Evang's no more than ten meters from ground zero of that explosion," Kurou suggested.

"I'm betting he's no more than two meters away," Al replied.

"You're on."

**NNNNNNNNNNNNN**

Meanwhile, far from the castle, a siege was taking place. Albion's forces decided to take a stab at claiming the tower, and they were surprised when their probing cannonade was responded to with highly accurate lightning bolts from the tower itself. A sound like the rushing of a thousand wings could be heard by the Albion Navy and dragon riders, who immediately scrambled into attack positions as man-bat hybrids made of living stone swarmed toward them. The dragon riders fought back with magic, theirs and their mounts', and the flying warships' cannons fired until the midday sun no longer shone on the blackened earth, courtesy of the smoke.

Dragon-human combined arms tactics against a fortification basically say 'Let the beasts do the work for you.' Traditionally this meant having them land and blast the base of the target with their breath weapons, to clear the way for the human attackers. Those who have reached their breath weapon limit would circle the target, wearing the opponents down psychologically through fear, magical or otherwise. That, at least, was the theory. Following theory, the remaining Albion dragon troops landed at the tower's base and were about to barrage it with their breath weapons when they found themselves beset by white wolves and black ravens from all sides. Lightning flew without pause from the tower's pinnacle toward the airships, and the ground split open as long green vines erupted from the ground, sprouting spikes as they grew long, menacing, and tall.

"Sir, our troops are getting massacred on the ground," an Albion sailor reported to his captain. "What are your orders?"

Before the captain could reply, the tower unleashed a massive storm of energy that engulfed the unfortunate ship, cutting it up and burning the pieces at the same time.

"Sir, our last escort vessel has been destroyed, and our troops are getting massacred on the ground! What do we do now, captain?"

"Order all our remaining forces back! It is madness to stay here!"

The tower's lightning stopped flashing out, thus the surviving dragon knights were able to return to their carrier.

"All surviving dragon knights have alighted, sir!" a crewman reported.

The tower's topmost spire gleamed with gathering electricity.

**NNNNNNNNNNNNN**

"As you can see, that's what happened," Jemu narrated the feed that he was showing Evang's lakeside party. "Albion got its ass handed to it."

"That was mean. It seems that whoever was orchestrating the tower's defenses waited until the last moment so it could destroy the attackers in one fell swoop," Saito noted.

"It's a threat to the whole continent, and not just Tristain, isn't it?" Henrietta asked.

"If we don't do something about it, Henrietta-sama will be in trouble if something worse comes along. We have to do something!" Louise declared.

"We will, which is why I have assembled this team. Although seeing that carnage, I wonder if we should just have Demonbane use Lemuria Impact on it," Evang mused.

"If so, why _**have **_you assembled us, if you're just going to rely on the giant robot to destroy it?" Yuji asked.

"That would be cool if the intent was to destroy the tower. However, our goal, that is, Pan-Samun's and my Order's, is to secure it for the greater good – at least, prevent it from being misused, and to negate its disruptive effects to magic everywhere. To do the latter part, the tower itself must be studied, and for that to occur, it is critical that we gain control of its location. Demonbane is our ace in the hole, or perhaps the reset button, that I hope we never have to bring into play," Evang replied.

"If you could explain to us how we could even approach the tower, what with those defenders and traps around it, we would appreciate it," Shana said.

"Do you even have a game plan?" Saito asked.

Evang obliged. "Astral has that covered – they've got a full complement of area effect magic-users, plus Itsuki's eye, if used sparingly, should allow them to keep the area free of nasty surprises. All that will need to be taken care of will be the monsters and assorted mobile guardians - that's Team Love-Love's job. The idea is to have both teams move as one, with one team suppressing the terrain while the other clears the path of defenders."

"We just waltz in after the kids make their way through, eh?" Kurou asked.

"What? Hey, how come I didn't notice your approach?" Evang directed his question to Kurou and Al-Azif.

"Well, duh, Elder God innate ability in a material plane - does that ring a bell?" Al retorted.

"Speaking of gods, there might be an anti-god barrier around the place. Well, maybe not a barrier, but do you really think something created by a major god would allow itself to be approached so easily by other divinities?"

"Listen, you, and I hope your space-bound twin is listening as well, you promised to use that tower to help me and Al search for our children. Are you saying you can't do it?!" Kurou bellowed.

"I didn't say that, elder god. Speaking of which, hey, Jemu, are your guests from the Time Space Administration listening in on this?"

"Yup. They saw the Albion task force's massacre too," Jemu replied, throwing a glance at Fate, Teana, Shari, Ginga,and her students. "I've yet to wrangle out from them why they attacked the SpaceBar initially – I'm guessing it has got something to do with a 'shoot first, ask questions later' policy for suspicious characters orbiting certain types of worlds, but like I said, that's just a guess."

Evang grunted in acknowledgment. "Well, elder gods, we won't be finding anything out until we ourselves attempt to reach the tower. Astral, Love-Love, are you ready?"

"Astral is ready to rock and roll!" Itsuki replied.

"Can we have a name change for our team?" Yuji requested.

"Do we even have a team leader?" Saito countered.

That drew everyone up short.

"Yuji will lead his team, and it will be his to name. Any opposition?" Jemu asked.

"Hold on! Don't just decide things arbitrarily!" Yuji protested.

"It's not arbitrary. Among you four loose cannons, you have the best ability to size up the situation and come up with daring and effective plans. Granted, we could have had Louise as the leader, so that the rest of you three can just rush into combat while she remains safely in the back court, but is she up for the responsibility of two other lives besides hers and her familiar's? Is she even aware of what it might be like to command?"

"No to both," Louise replied in a sing-song manner. "Besides, if I knew I was being commander just for that reason, I wouldn't accept it. I have my pride, you know. While I might accept that commission if I'm just listening to my pride as a noble, my pride as Louise de la Valliere will not allow me to do so."

"Well said, Mlle. De la Valliere. So, are there any dissenting opinions to my appointment of Yuji Sakai as captain of his team?" Jemu asked.

"None," Saito, Louise, and Shana chorused. Yuji was unable to protest as Shana had clamped her hand over his mouth.

"Very good! Now, then, Yuji, please name your team," Evang prodded.

"I suppose it can't be helped. I am naming my team, 'Seekers,' short for 'seekers of the way home.' Any objections?" Yuji asked. "Since there are none, Seekers, ready to move!"

"Just one moment! You're all forgetting something here!" Henrietta reminded them. "Which team do I go with? I assume I'll be going with Louise's team with my familiar Shirou, right?"

"Well, the truth of the matter is…" Evang began.

"Oh, no, don't tell me you were planning to send me back to the palace and just watch from there! Well?" Henrietta demanded.

"It _is _safer in the palace, Your Highness…"

"I see. Shirou?"

"Yes, Henrietta-san?"

"A sword, please."

"I beg your pardon?" Shirou was not sure if he heard it right.

"Please create a sword for me, one that will flatten to the ground whoever I hit with it. Something that can fell even the mighty Evang, here."

"Well, Henrietta-san, something like that will require _quite _a lot of mana, much more than I have right now."

"Can nothing be done to increase your current amount?" Henrietta asked.

"Now, now, Your Highness," Evang pleaded, "Please be reasonable about this. Think of your position."

"Screw my position! Well, Shirou?"

Shirou knew were his loyalties lay – besides, Henrietta sounded a lot like a certain beloved blonde of his back then. "Hold my hand, Henrietta-sama, and let your mana flow into me."

Henrietta didn't hesitate. She would show them that she was not useless! She took Shirou's left hand in her right, and held it tightly.

"Visualizing… the sword that promises victory… Trace! On!" Shirou shouted, buoyed up by the torrent of mana flowing through him. Light began to gather and take shape between his and Henrietta's joined hands, quickly materializing into a perfect replica of Caliburn. Despite this, Shirou still felt that he was going to drown in all the mana Henrietta was providing him. _What do I do? Ah, I know – armor to protect a monarch in battle! This is not my specialty, but with this much mana, I have enough leeway. _Once he had decided, his magic made it reality – blue battle dress with armor plates over critical locations, and gauntlets that would allow her to wield the sword she asked for without his aid. Reluctantly, he pried her now-gauntleted fingers open – he was not used to processing this much mana, this quickly, let alone hold this much. "It's a success, Henrietta-san. You look… smashing."

Henrietta marveled at her attire. Her scepter/wand was hanging from a short chain attached to her belt, and she took an experimental swing with the sword in her hand.

"Look out, people!" Evang shouted, raising a wall of force to intercept the crescent of magical energy that flew along Henrietta's swing direction. The attack smashed the wall and plowed into the Order mage, creating a furrow as it drove the unfortunate man into Lake Lagdorian's waters.

"He can swim, can't he?" Itsuki asked no one in particular.

"We can't," Jemu replied flatly.

With that, Jemu had no choice but to concede to Henrietta's wishes on Evang's behalf. Only then did Henrietta allow the boys to fish Evang out of the water.

**NNNNNNNNNNNNN**

"Now that was some scary shit," Jemu mused aloud. "Tracing Caliburn, and the King of Knight's armor as well? Those guys might actually be aided with the presence of the Queen and her familiar." Facing his 'guests' he asked Fate, "So, what's it going to be, Agent? You've ascertained our purpose, which is to study the tower to somehow negate its effects on the various dimensions, and for that we need to make sure our researchers are not disturbed. If we let you walk out of here, back to your assault transport, which is at the moment being repaired as best as we can manage, can we expect no interference from your side? Heck, I'm a generous guy, I'll even overlook the fact that you shot us first."

"Because you have little to no hope of surviving a firefight with an actual TSA Navy fleet, right?" Fate guessed.

"Like I said, I'm willing to overlook certain things. So, will you let us do our thing?" Jemu pressed.

"Unfortunately, I'm not a high profile or influential person in the Administration. Even if you use all of us here as hostages, you still won't have enough pressure," Fate replied.

"I'm not taking anyone hostage – the mere mention of the act leaves a foul taste in my mouth. Still, perception weighs more than truth, right? Say we're willing to look like bad guys, your brother's highly influential nowadays, isn't he? Will he listen to our request, and see what can be done about it?"

"Knowing him, he's more likely to round up the ex-members of Riot Force Six and try to rescue us." At Fate's mention of her old unit, her companions' heads rose.

"I think we can stave off an assault team or another boarding attempt. I mean, as long as we have our secret weapon, The Masked Maid Guy, we can get the drop on any party that tries to land. Besides, you only got in because your transport was designed for breakthrough operations. If we can keep your landing parties from actually getting inside the station, we win, simple as that."

"What we actually want is for hostilities to cease so we can discuss policies regarding the tower, and to see if we can come to an agreement that is mutually beneficial to both sides," BOS chimed in, not bothering with a screen or a construct body. "A prolonged period of fighting between our sides – nothing good will come of it. If we unlock our hypertech weapons, we can wipe out your reinforcement waves as they come, given the slow rate of arrival. We are hoping it will not come to that – our hammerspace technology is misunderstood and feared enough as it is, and fighting the Time Space Administration will just vilify us."

"If we let you go, will you please not attack us on the way out, and send word to your superiors that we're not the bad guys, and that we can work together with the TSA if the terms are fair?" Jemu asked Fate.

"I can't promise you anything, but I'll tell them that you could be negotiated with."

Jemu sighed. "BOS? How are the repairs to their APC coming along?"

"It's almost done, master. You can hand them the keys and point them to the hangar, and by the time they arrive my little nanobots would have finished with their task," the AI replied.

"Splendid. Here," Jemu reached into his pocket and slid the _Thunderhead_'s keys across the table toward Fate's side. "You're free to go, unless you ladies want to have one of my house specials for the road? It's no Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster, but at least in won't leave you with a week-long headache."

"Thanks, but no thanks. I do have a minor under my wing, and Ginga has a lot of them."

"Alright, I understand, truly. I don't want to add 'corruption of a minor' to my list of sins I'll be hanged for one day."

Teana pouted. "How long till I can officially do things on my own, Fate?"

"One more year, Teana, and you can get drunk, go wild, strip you and your friends naked while in a bar and see the photos on the Interdimensional Net the next day."

"Wha-? Fate-san?" Ginga asked, shocked.

"Let's just say Nanoha and I learned the hard way that the only way to get a Cloud Knight drunk is to get their master drunk first," Fate smiled at the memory. "Oh my! I can believe I just blurted that out!"

**NNNNNNNNNNNNN**

"Is this mode of transport really the best way to get to the target?" Itsuki asked for the umpteenth time.

"We can't help it – flying normally would take too long," Evang explained, coughing. "Getting catapulted into the tower's perimeter using an Atlantis Strike also has the advantage of killing whatever would be stupid enough not to get out of our way."

"There is that," Honami muttered, "But how are we going to ensure we don't pick ourselves up in pieces when we land?"

"I've got that covered too!" Evang snapped his fingers, and something that looked suspiciously like a medium-sized roller coaster car appeared in front of him. Restraint bars, foam padding, seatbelts, the works – it had everything. "Introducing, the Force Cage Crash Module Mk I. Big enough to seat two assault squads in power armor and still have room for life support. Mode of propulsion not included!"

"You want us to strap ourselves in that thing, and hold on while-" Adelicia sputtered, not able to continue her tirade with words, choosing to finish it instead with gestures that showed how she felt about that thing.

"It seems like fun," Kuroha mused. Mikan nodded. "It's a an amusement park ride! I wanna try it now!"

"My cats should be fine, pretty much like Kuroha-san would be," Nekoyashiki Ren noted. "I say we give it a go."

"This has got to be the dumbest thing I'm ever going to try," Saito whispered to Yuji.

"Why are we doing this again?" Yuji asked.

"For a chance to return to our proper universes, it seems," Shana replied.

"No, dammit! Saito, you're not going anywhere!" Louise cried.

"Have mercy on my parents, will you? They probably think I'm dead, or something!"

"But, but what if they see you and decide to detain you in a dungeon?"

"Thankfully, where I come from we ceased building dungeons as a necessary part of the home."

"I'm not letting you go and leave me alone!" Louise wailed.

"Then come with me! To my world!" Saito retorted in exasperation.

Silence.

"Isn't it a dangerous idea to have people capable of flinging spells and curses walking around in the twenty-first century?" Yuji asked.

"Speak for yourself," Honami snapped at him.

"Whoops. I guess I put my foot in my mouth back there, ehehe," Yuji chuckled sheepishly.

"How does foot taste like?" Louise asked.

"Needs more sugar," Yuji deadpanned.

"Hey, Saito, were you serious a while ago?" Louise asked.

"When I said I wanted you to go back with me so I can give you a taste of the culture shock and loneliness I experienced when I first arrived here? Oh yeah, baby, I was serious," Saito said with a grin.

"Look, can you idiots get a move on already? Are you going to come with us or not?" Al Azif demanded.

"People who call other people 'idiots' are the bigger idiots!" Yuji and Saito chorused.

It was quite a bit of time before the whole gang was airborne.

**NNNNNNNNNNNNN**

And now, for some totally gratuitous breaking of the fourth wall...

"Hold up! You mean this whole work isn't breaking the fourth wall enough?" Teana demanded. "I mean look at all the VA jokes littered all over! It's like the author's deciding which series to mash up together based on which voices are in there and writing the plot on the fly!"

"That's a very arbitrary way of doing things," Fate noted. "Also I would like to protest that all of us here were defeated that quickly by some freak in a maid outfit and mask. I'm Class AA for crying out loud!"

"You guys wanna know why it took him so long to update between stories? I sure do!" Wendi declared. "Raise your hands if you wanna know why!"

**NNNNNNNNNNNNN**

"With the thirty-seven keys of Tzeentch, we open the way for our brothers."

"With the thousand whispers of Slaanesh, we call to them."

"With the twelve plagues of Nurgle, we fell their enemies."

"And with the mighty axe of Khorne, we cut open the world for them!"

Four heavily armored Sorcerors finished chanting, floating north, south, east and west of the Dream King's tower as their allies struggled mightily on the ground.

"Yes. Come forth to bear the word of Chaos!" a Dark Apostle roared, and as if in response a pink rent in space and time appeared above the tower. Seeing this, the forces of the Warp Gods fought with renewed vigor, as horrors rained down from the fissure in the warp. In the face of the renewed assault, the tower's defenses would not last long. Squads of flamer-armed Raptors and fire-breathing Possessed Marines made short work of the lashing vines, leaving their "normal" brethren free to pound the ghostly defenders of the tower with unholy ammunition. Even when the tower began to pull on its last tricks, animating the corpses of the fallen attackers, the forces of Chaos kept on fighting. After all, the occasional clash, skirmish, and even total war between legions still sparked up from time to time, kept in check only when the Black Legion decided to lash out and 'discipline' them. This 'discipline' did not come often - despite being technically superhuman Chaos Lords still believed in survival of the fittest.

This all translated to the Chaos Marines being comfortable firing at armored forms who once fought beside them and stood in between them and their goal. The reanimated defenders were quickly cut down by bolter rounds and plasma bolts, and were immediately revived by the tower's profane power. The Chaos Marines quickly made a game of it, while their Khorne Berzerker companions were locked into a circle of mad killing. It went like this - a Berzerker strikes down a zombie in a fit of rage, the zombie gets back up, pissing of the Berzerker, which makes him lash out, killing the zombie anew. Of course the "regular" gun-wielding Marines found this rib-tickling funny. Their mirth was cut short when Obliterators, chaotic fusions of Space Marine and an entire armory that could morph their arms into the best weapon for any situation, teleported into the battle and began to vaporize the zombies with arm-mounted laser cannons. With no corpses to reanimate, the tower's defense worsened further. With the zombies gone, the Berzerkers roared at being deprived of things to kill and surged forward, Marines running after them brandishing their guns, leaving the Obliterators to shuffle along on their own pace, repeatedly calling out, "Must obliterate!"

Realizing that all will be lost if the Warp-touched step foot inside, the tower raised its final defense - a wall of souls. The Berzerkers charged headlong and had their souls added to the whirling barrier of moaning spirits, all of them dropping to the ground as lifeless shells. Possessed of more sense, the tactical Marine squads halted a fair distance from the wall, observing it warily. This allowed the Obliterators to reach their lines, and apprising the situation, morphed into multi-weaponed platforms and began to unload everything they got into the barrier. The Marines looked at them with a mix of envy and awe. Blessed by the Warp Gods, Obliterators never ran out of ammo, never felt the burn of overheating lascannons, and never had their plasma weapons blow up in their faces.

It was precisely because they were watching the Obliterators do their thing that they didn't notice the growing shadow until it was too late.

**BOOM.**

Demonbane, cradling the Force Cage to its chest, landed smack dab in the middle of the Chaos host, sending the gathered Marines flying. The Obliterators weren't so lucky – half of their number were crushed under the mecha's iron heels, and they had to unravel themselves slowly from the stationary firing configuration they had morphed into earlier.

With a wordless cry, Shana leaped forth and headed for the nearest Obliterator, spraying it with flame as it tried to bring its autocannon to bear. The flame didn't seem to faze the abomination, and the hail of bullets forced the Flame Haze to dance around. Suddenly the Obliterator found itself immolated in silver flames and sagged to the ground, all the life gone from it. Looking back, Shana saw Yuji drop to the ground by leaping from the kneeling Demonbane's arm to its knee, then finally down. He had Blutsauger out and was already running toward another Obliterator. Realizing that he could take care of himself, Shana focused on her own attacks.

"Let's go, Astral!" Itsuki yelled, unstrapping himself from the carrier as soon as Demonbane had let go of them and righted itself. "You all know your positions and roles! The objective right now is to break through!" Honami and Adelicia nodded, taking to the air and raining arrows and demons at all targets of opportunity. The remaining seven Obliterators weren't pushovers, though. Gunfire filled the air, and after a particularly nasty Obliterator death involving a lion-shaped demon, another Obliterator appeared behind the line of scrimmage, seemingly suffering no disorientation as it rumbled forward and began blasting the humans.

Kurou and Al watched the scene. "They can handle that much – their numbers are even overkill when you think about it," Al noted. "What are we needed here for?"

"Maybe for those?" Kurou pointed. Two of the four Sorcerors floating in mid-air around the tower suddenly began to spin rapidly. One plummeted to the ground, causing an impossibly large fountain of blood and gore to erupt, and from this spray a dog-faced, red-scaled horned demon with cloven hooves and draconian wings stepped forth, easily a match for Demonbane's height. It was clad in skull-emblazoned brass armor, and held a massive two-headed battle ax in one hand and a whip made of pure flame in the other. The other Sorceror was consumed in an explosion of rainbow hues, and when the glare subsided in his place was a giant, gnarled cross between human and a scavenging bird, wielding a staff that Kurou knew would rip through whatever it was used against, whether as a bludgeon or as a spell focus. Their massive shadows falling over the combatants below gave the humans pause.

"Damn. A Bloodthirster and a Lord of Change. I never thought I'd live to see these Greater Daemons fighting in unison," Evang noted. "Well, good luck, Kurou, Al!"

With a bellow, the Bloodthirster spread its wings and soared toward Demonbane. Uttering totally inhuman words in its avian throat, the Lord of Change began to gather energy at the tip of its ornate staff. Praying that the Daemons had at least a semblance of aversion to friendly fire, Kurou pulled out Barzai's Scimitar and closed in with the Bloodthirster. The fire whip wrapped around the mecha's blade, and Kurou was forced to defend with his free hand against the arm swinging the massive battle ax with negligent ease, mainly by blocking the enemy's wrist movement. Suddenly, the Greater Daemon of Khorne twisted, and pulled its arm back, the one with the whip. Not wanting to be left weaponless against this particular foe, Kurou gripped the hilt tightly, despite Al's protest, and was sent hurtling straight into the Lord of Change's Warp-charged staff, which the Lord had thrust forward after completing a rather complicated _kata. _The unholy weapon pierced through Demonbane's back armor and through its front plating, and the avian Daemon squawked evilly, letting loose a blast of Warp energy through the staff and sending the God-Slaying Sword into a crater. The Bloodthirster flew up to the Lord of Change, and in a manner totally out of character for their kind, exchanged high-fives – well a high-five and a high-four, since the bird only had taloned four fingers.

"Aren't we going to help Kurou and Al?" Shirou asked.

"Are you nuts? We are but gnats against those Greater Daemons! Don't worry, though – it will take much more than that poke to the chest to bring Demonbane down." Evang pointed. "See, he rises again – OH! That was FANTASTIC! BOOT TO THE HEAD!" the old man cheered as Demonbane landed an Atlantis Strike on the Bloodthirster's ugly mug, sending it tumbling to the earth. "We must press on! Those Obliterators certainly won't be giving us a break!" Indeed, the Obliterators had managed to find a couple of defensible firing places and began to rain anti-personnel munitions on them. Only Kuroha's and Mikan's barriers were protecting Louise, Saito, Henrietta, and Shirou – Nekoyashiki was playing hit and run against the Obliterators with some degree of success – while Evang was erecting high and low walls made of earth for the attackers to hide behind if the dodging gets a bit dicey. Of course, his main purpose was to stop the bullets from reaching him.

**NNNNNNNNNNNNN**

**Inside the tower itself...**

"I feel their presence. Mother, and father is with her. Another Blood, they've found us," Kuzaku whispered to to the girl. "We should go and meet up with them."

"That would not be wise. Your Deus Machina is still not fully restored. To have us go out there, where a battle is raging, would be death," the girl known as Another Blood replied. "Besides, I kind of like it here, and I like those two little dolls with the odd red and green eyes. True, they're not here much, but when they are, they're quite attentive to me."

The boy sighed. _Girls and dolls, wherever you go, they're all the same. _"You don't seem to be surprised that they could move, talk, and think on their own."

"Should I be? As one created from a thing which was originally not alive, as one that was granted life only after creation, I feel a kinship with those two girls. I wonder where they are all this time though, aren't they worried about the fighting outside?"

"They've retreated to their garden, to their precious Slumbering Sapling." Another Blood's eyes widened a bit.

"How do you know this?"

"I overheard them whispering about it when they thought I was asleep. Sound carries very well within this tower's walls. Anyway, this tower is but a protective shell for the Sapling. The Sapling itself is a part of a vast network that links all dreams, dreamers, and dreamworlds together. Do you realize what this means?"

"You could travel anywhere from this tower, as long as there is a dreamer from that place you wish to go, and you know certain spells of dream-magic. It's wonderful."

"Which is why I the fighting is so intense outside. In short, every conqueror wants, or will want this tower." _But what are mom and dad doing, fighting outside? Surely they aren't after this tower as well?_

"I see you've discovered the secret of this tower," a new voice said. Turning, the boy and girl saw a doll with red and green eyes, the one dressed as a boy, holding a pair of gardening shears as tall as she was. "You do realize that now, surely we cannot let you go."

"She's right, _desu!" _another voice said, this one belonging to the doll that was sister to the shears-wielding one. Her next words made Another Blood reconsider her opinion on living dolls.

"At least not alive_, desu!"_


End file.
